Cupcake Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 I've been casually dating this man for three months. He travels a lot. We usually talk on the phone at least once a week. And we have a date every other week. I like him. Physically, he's not the type of guy I usually date. But he seems nice and I'm trying to step out of normal dating habits with hopes of finding a great guy. Anyway, for Christmas, I didn't hear from him for over a week and a half. Prior to that, he told me that his mother would be visiting him and spending Christmas with him. I thought it was only a few days. But I never expected to not hear from him. During that week and a half, I called him three times on three different days. Each time, his phone was off. I assume he left it off the whole time because he didn't want to be disturbed. I left messages. When he finally called, he explained that he was exhausted because his mother took all of his energy. I didn't complain or voice my concerns. But it bothered me because I don't believe he was with his mother. I don't have any evidence. It just doesn't seem right for him to turn his phone off and not communicate with anyone while his mother was there. I spent a week with my family for Christmas too. But I still spoke with all my friends and wished them a happy holiday. I can't imagine any reason why this guy's mother occupied his time 24 hours a day for 10 days straight. Right now, I'm tempted to just forget about this guy. Before I do that, could you all give me some insight on this situation. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Am I over analysing this situation? Should I be concerned?
phoensam Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 That must have made your xmas a bit hard...I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I could say you were over reacting, but I'd certainly find it strange if I had been dating someone that long and they gave me that excuse for not calling over xmas. And you'd have to think mom would understand if he took a couple minutes to call you. If I was you, I'd now do the same to him. Turn your phone off, don't answer his calls, don't return his messages. How much do you know about the guy? How old is he? Any chance he has a wife and kids or some significant other? That might explain why he couldn't call for 7 days.
Touche Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Everything in me is saying that he's either married or is dating others (a player.) I could be wrong but I say listen to your instincts.
Author Cupcake Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 He is a little older than me. He told me he has been divorced for 10 years. He doesn't have any children. But I don't know anything other than what he tells me. At this point, we are still getting to know each other. We have both expressed an interest to strengthen our relationship. And it seems normal, if we're both single, to want a serious relationship because we are attracted to each other. There shouldn't be any lies. At this point, while we're getting to know each other, he has no reason to lie. We're just friends! If he is dating someone, I told him that I am dating other people (because I am dating other people until I meet the right man). He should tell me if he's dating someone. I've done everything I can to make him feel comfortable with me and let him know that I don't judge.
Leoni Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 This is odd. Have you ever been invited to his home? If not, you might want to suggest it and see what his reaction is.
phoensam Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Everything in me is saying that he's either married or is dating others (a player.) I could be wrong but I say listen to your instincts. I agree with this. Particularly the "listen to your instincts". It just doesn't add up to me that he wouldn't call you on xmas etc, particularly if you've talked about getting more serious. And the phone off business, really has to make you wonder if there maybe someone else. Even though you say he has no reason to lie, doesn't mean he isn't lying. Or maybe he's just super casual about this sort of stuff???
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