ninjaturtles Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 My Ex- Boyfriend and I broke up at the end of september 2007. We have barely been in contact since then. Anyway, I heard from a mutual friend that he has been very sick. He was diagnosed with diabetes, and almost went into a coma. He missed his post graduate jan exams and has to take them in June. He is now getting better. Immediately I heard this, I sent him a brief message, telling him that I heard he was sick and saying that I was sorry to hear that, hope he gets well soon and stays strong etc. Nothing personal, just an email. I only did it because I genuinely felt concerned, even though we are not together. The thing is whilst we were together, he had symptoms such as excessive thirst, so on and so forth. Its just weird because we used to laugh about the fact that he was always drinking water. Only for me to hear today that he almost went into a coma two weeks ago etc. Would you have contacted your EX if you were in my situation. I have done it anyway, so there is no going back. However, I feel like he may think I am interferring with his life etc. I guess I am not a part of it anymore so I should not have sent him the message. Any feedback would be appreciated. I feel so crap now. BTW, I have not gotten any reply, If I dont get one, I would not be affected or anything. Thanks in advance. xxx
JustinWolf Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Well, you sending that txt just means that you care and it's a good thing. It doesn't necessarily mean you want him back or anything. Just means you care, if anything happened to me, yeah, I'd hope my ex would at least have the decency to send a txt or anything to wish me good health but I probably wouldn't reply. When I'd feel better I'd definately remember that txt message and then I might reply or at least feel good that I got that message.
Author ninjaturtles Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 I guess you would behave this way because you are sensitive and nice:-) We all are here on LS..lol.Isnt that why we are here in the first place? I am sure some people from the 'outside world' may call us psycho if they discovered that we come on here to post out problems.....Haha. Anyway, thanks for the insight. More comments anyone?! Please..let's start a debate on this topic..I know you are all online.lol. Thanks in advance.xx
brothermartin Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Yeah, I would have done the same thing. It dosen't mean you're trying to get your foot back in the door, it only shows that you're not a heartless bitch.
HarryR Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Yeah, I would have done the same thing. It dosen't mean you're trying to get your foot back in the door, it only shows that you're not a heartless bitch. Who knows maybe some of it explains the problems ya had, i dont feel you did wrong at all, in fact go see him,
SadShamrock Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Hey there, I don't think you did anything wrong. I think it was a kind gesture. Personally, I think that in times of need- that differences can be set aside and you just show someone that you care. It's being empathic and compassionate.
JustinWolf Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Me? sensitive and nice? not really but like I said I might see the txt message and completely ignore it until really later and remembering it and feeling good about it and maybe NEVER replying to it. Make me feel stronger lol. But don't worry it's a nice gesture and it won't go unnoticed.
Author ninjaturtles Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Who knows maybe some of it explains the problems ya had, i dont feel you did wrong at all, in fact go see him, Harry- Care to explain further? If its what I am thinking, towards our breakup, he started loosing weight..and he 'implied' it was because of the 'stress' of our relationship. He implied this, not expressly stated it. I was mortified of course, because whilst we were together I was the one giving him good food, you know, 6-a-day veges, balanced diets etc. I was the one who encouraged him to get rid of mcdonalds etc.lol. I basically encouraged healthy eating etc! I guess at that point, he mentally attributed his weight loss to me, which was ridiculous and totally unfair. At first he said..' Oh, I thought my loss weight was as a result of my exams etc, however I just don't know anymore because it's persisted for so long' . I then told him that we barely went through 'stress' except a few arguments! Jeez, these arguments were minor..nothing at all! He never said anything back but I know he probably thought I had something to do with it. Can you imagine? The things people do and say when they want out. Sigh. Anyway, the discovery of his diabetes, is the explanation for his weight loss. As irrelevant as it may seem now, I do hope he remembers what he implied. Infact, after the whole discussion about his weight loss (this was in August just before we broke up), he started acting funny towards me, distant etc. Plus, he was back home with his family during that time and his parents were really worried that he had lost so much weight etc. It was about 2 weeks after that he dumped me. 4-5 months after, he discovered he had diabetes and that was the reason for the weight loss. Wow. Well, he has not replied and I feel he has been on facebook. It was an email I sent him not a text btw. I even re sent him a facebook request because I deleted him when we broke up because I wanted to get over him. Now, I am fine, but feel a bit akward at the fact that he has not responded or accepted my invite. It's all good anyway. I can't force anyone to do what they don't want to. Ive only ever been good and caring to him. I guess the nice ones finish last huh?lol. Does anyone understand the relationship between his implied allegations (about the stress of the relationship making him loose weight and the real reason for his weight loss?) Thank you all for your feedback. Please respond to this post with your opinions. Thanks a lot.
Author ninjaturtles Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 (edited) Me? sensitive and nice? not really but like I said I might see the txt message and completely ignore it until really later and remembering it and feeling good about it and maybe NEVER replying to it. Make me feel stronger lol. But don't worry it's a nice gesture and it won't go unnoticed. Thank You everyone else for your responses! Very much appreciated. Looking foward to hearing more from you.xxx Edited January 15, 2008 by ninjaturtles
malaclypse Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Immediately I heard this, I sent him a brief message, telling him that I heard he was sick and saying that I was sorry to hear that, hope he gets well soon and stays strong etc. Nothing personal, just an email. I only did it because I genuinely felt concerned, even though we are not together. The thing is whilst we were together, he had symptoms such as excessive thirst, so on and so forth. Its just weird because we used to laugh about the fact that he was always drinking water. Only for me to hear today that he almost went into a coma two weeks ago etc. Would you have contacted your EX if you were in my situation. I have done it anyway, so there is no going back. However, I feel like he may think I am interferring with his life etc. I guess I am not a part of it anymore so I should not have sent him the message. I think it's a very nice thing to do. When someone is in a hospital or otherwise really sick, every little positive thing can mean a lot. - especially because a lot of 'friends' usually pull back if someone's in a bad state... Any feedback would be appreciated. I feel so crap now. BTW, I have not gotten any reply, If I dont get one, I would not be affected or anything. I don't think that's true. This post shows that you think about this too much, and of course you will be a little sad if he doesn't answer, and happy if he does... Still, I think the bottom line is that you should look at your message as a nice thing you did for him when he was in a bad spot - don't expect to get anything back.
Author ninjaturtles Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 I don't think that's true. This post shows that you think about this too much, and of course you will be a little sad if he doesn't answer, and happy if he does... Still, I think the bottom line is that you should look at your message as a nice thing you did for him when he was in a bad spot - don't expect to get anything back. You are right. Right now I feel so crap. I know everyone is going to chastise me for breaking NC...I thought I was strong enough to. I am not breaking down again or anything, however, he has not replied me, neither has he accepted my friend request. I know he has been on facebook. I dont understand..Is it that he hates me so much, as to not want to keep contact me in any shape or form? I dont understand it. I did not stalk or go psycho on him, so there is no reason why he should avoid me!. When I deleted him from facebook back in october, I told him the reason! I told him i needed to get through the 'getting over' stage...so its not as if he thinks i deleted him out of anger or anything. Men, women what do you think? Do you simply think he wants nothing to do with my at all? The last communication I got was via email from him. Nothing big, he was just responding to something i sent him. I know therefore that we are not on fighting terms. I know you all will ask me why i care? Well, I am simply lost as to why he would not want to accept something so trivial. Please help me out.. What do you think?? Thanks.xx
JustinWolf Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Who did the break up? It was mutual? Who brought it up? During a break up things are kinda shaky, I noticed both individuals aren't really sure of much anymore and are confused. Some aren't though, because well, they don't really give a damn. Maybe he's a bit mad over the break up or he's in Low or No Contact with you. You should just stop caring at this point and maybe he will come running back with questions and looking for answers. Right now, you're asking yourself questions and you're looking for answers. Just stop. Let yourself take a breath. I don't know what else to say because there has been so much said on loveshack; I guess all I can say at this point is try as much as possible to look foward. Its hard but we all have set backs, please avoid asking any questions about her etc anymore. It can only do more harm than good.
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