Lauriebell82 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Just wanted to update on the situation with my boyfriend. Everything is going awesome!!!! We are still talking about moving in together, even talking about marriage and where we will be 5 years from now. Communicating really really helped, and I owe a lot to you all who helped me. I love him so much, although we have our arguments. But we got through it, and are better than ever!! We had a little issue yesterday but we worked through it, stayed calm, and tried to listen to each other's points. (It concerned his OCDness regarding cleaning his apartment). We talked about how we would share expenses in our apartment and agreed on everything. I surprised him last weekend by taking him out to dinner after I got a huge paycheck. So I'm trying to be more generous with the little money I have. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on everything...I think things are going to be okay with us. I am back at school now and so lonely. I really miss him!
torranceshipman Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 So are you not arguing now, because you did what he wanted, and spent your college money on him/going out, instead of spending it on books, gas, and other college related stuff that you need for your degree? Wasn't that the cause of the original argument? Glad to hear you are getting on good, but don't sell yourself out by agreeing to what he wants just to keep him/keep the peace. He earns more than you and that very little money you had for college gear should have been used for college gear.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 So are you not arguing now, because you did what he wanted, and spent your college money on him/going out, instead of spending it on books, gas, and other college related stuff that you need for your degree? Wasn't that the cause of the original argument? Glad to hear you are getting on good, but don't sell yourself out by agreeing to what he wants just to keep him/keep the peace. He earns more than you and that very little money you had for college gear should have been used for college gear. Thanks for the advice. I didn't exactly "do what he wanted." I offered to take him out to dinner because after I put in overtime at work and wanted to treat him. The cause of our original argument wasn't that I should pay for more stuff, because he acknowledges that I can't pay as often as he can. Like I said, I guess I do assume he is going to pay just because he does have more money than I do, but he says that that bothers him because it's like I'm taking advantage of him. We had a good talk though. He honestly didn't force me to take him out to dinner, I don't think he would have gotten upset if I hadn't have offered. But I figured that I would do something nice for him, because I know that until I graduate he's going to be paying for the majority of our dates.
Touche Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Hey, Laurie that's really great. And I think you did the right thing taking him out. What you always have to remember is that you're on the same team. The goal is to negotiate and not to prove that you're right and that he's wrong. As for the OCD fighting about his cleaning...hoo boy, don't EVEN get me started. Yep, I'm married to one of those so if you ever need advice on how to handle those types, I'm your woman!:laugh:
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Hey, Laurie that's really great. And I think you did the right thing taking him out. What you always have to remember is that you're on the same team. The goal is to negotiate and not to prove that you're right and that he's wrong. As for the OCD fighting about his cleaning...hoo boy, don't EVEN get me started. Yep, I'm married to one of those so if you ever need advice on how to handle those types, I'm your woman!:laugh: Oh god, he gets all stressed out and crazy! He starts snapping at me when things are on the floor. I try to just clean it up and let him have his little anxiety attack, but he acts nuts when he's anxious about cleaning.
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