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Impending marriage making me sad


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My boyfriend's youngest brother announced that he was marrying his girlfriend within the next few months, so they will be married when their baby arrives in 4 months.

 

For some reason this has me in tears. I have never been married or engaged and although my current boyfriend (who I have been with for almost 3 years) keeps telling me that we will be married one day and we will have a child together I still feel so alone. We live together and are planning financially for our future together. I'm 30 years old and I react the same at any announcement of a wedding or engagement.

 

I can't tell him that I really value marriage as I feel stupid talking so candidly about my feelings. I WANT to be married. I want someone to value me so much that they want a commitment to me. I want to be a wife and mother. I just feel that time is running out and I am unwanted.

 

I was with someone previously who never wanted to marry me (but he wanted a child with me) and I was patient with him for 9 years, hoping that he would change his mind. Perhaps this is something to do with my reaction.

 

Anyway, I would appreciate any insights into my odd problem. Why do I react with so much misery and despair at someone elses happiness?

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