Lishy Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 No matter that they are 100% in the wrong, they want you back but can't say sorry even though they cannot think for one minute they are in the right ......... and when you tell them what they done they just go quiet! why???????????? It does not make sense at all, when I am wrong I admit it and say sorry, it isn't hard! Quote
Touche Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 No matter that they are 100% in the wrong, they want you back but can't say sorry even though they cannot think for one minute they are in the right ......... and when you tell them what they done they just go quiet! why???????????? It does not make sense at all, when I am wrong I admit it and say sorry, it isn't hard! Oh men can say they're sorry. It's the immature boys who can't. Quote
PerfectXPretty Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Agreed, i couldnt have said it better myself! Quote
Touche Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Agreed, i couldnt have said it better myself! Thanks! So, Lishy you two are talking again? Quote
momma3179 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I would like to think that their silence is to not add insult to injury. Sometimes I would rather have the silence as I would not respond well to the actual apology without asking questions that also wouldn't be answered. Quote
Author Lishy Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 I will explain further as that was a bit criptic No Touche hon we are not talking as a rule - He has been ringing every few days and I have told him we are through every time. The last time he called I went through everything he done and on the bits he could defend, he did and on the bits he knew he was completely wrong about he just went quiet but would not say sorry! I guess the consensus would be that is because he is not sorry! My question is how can you not apologise to someone for being out of order? Does not make sense to me at all! Quote
Author Lishy Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 Oh and just to add he is telling me that we can sort this out and how much he misses me! If he loves and misses me that much then why cant he say sorry? DOnt get me wrong it wouldnt make any difference as I have decided we will not be getting back together as I cannot stand his childishness! Quote
Confused9 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I have no idea. I am strugling with this myself. At first he said sorry, then he blamed me for his cheating. Now, it's all my fault and I deserve nothing. So...I have no idea why they are like that...but it blows! Quote
Author Lishy Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 Pride, pure and simple. Ok so if it is pride then how come he is not so proud to ring me when I have told him not to bother and virtually beg me to meet up with him? Surely if you had that much pride you would not do that? It makes no sense - he obviously misses me but will not say sorry???? Doh Quote
luvmy2ns Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Ok so if it is pride then how come he is not so proud to ring me when I have told him not to bother and virtually beg me to meet up with him? Surely if you had that much pride you would not do that? It makes no sense - he obviously misses me but will not say sorry???? Doh Manipulation and pride are two different things. He's probably thinking how cute it sounds for him to beg you to see him, but to actually take responsibility for being wrong? Another story altogether. Quote
Author Lishy Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 Yeah that could be very true BUT WHY?????????????? It is so damn stupidddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!! URGH!!!!! Quote
underpants Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Immaturity might play a factor. My ex has yet to acknowledge or apologize for anything. Just endless justifications for his self entitlements and basically whining about all that he does not have. Which, of course are the fault of someone else. That is all he is. He did say "sorry" mixed with a gesture that was akin to shooing a fly away from his face about an item that he kept of mine for over a year. I almost explained that by literally whipping away the apology it seemed very insincere. Then I thought again and let him keep that little tell. I no longer need an apology from him. It would be insincere anyway. I'm just happy he is no longer in my life and that he can no longer hurt me with subtle delight. Quote
Teuen101 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I said was sorry to my EX and now I wish i hadnt - point being ..i think men do say they are sorry but like all people we've met people in the passed who've took a big dumper on us and now once betten twice shy wich isnt a good reason in it's self Quote
Woggle Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Women have this problem just as bad if not worse than men do. Quote
richardcruz Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I said was sorry to my EX and now I wish i hadnt - point being ..i think men do say they are sorry but like all people we've met people in the passed who've took a big dumper on us and now once betten twice shy wich isnt a good reason in it's self Amen to that. God knows I've said sorry for things that I did wrong. Hell, I even said sorry for things that I knew weren't my fault but did anyways out of desperation to try to mend things. Quote
Author Lishy Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 Please stay on topic Wogs, we are talking about MEN!!!!! Get it? Quote
Woggle Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I agree with what some of the other men here say. I spent a year in my first marriage apologizing for my existence in an attempt to make her happy and it was still not good enough. I promised myself that I would never be a doormat like that again so now I only apologize if I truly felt I have done something wrong. Quote
Woggle Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Please stay on topic Wogs, we are talking about MEN!!!!! Get it? It is on topic. This thread is asking why men do this and I am saying that women are as bad if not worse. Quote
Teuen101 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 you've also gave a good reason why we all do it - and agree I'm never saying im sorry for every little thing anymore If i do something I'll man up if not then I'm not I've learned my lesson Quote
underpants Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Women have this problem just as bad if not worse than men do. I agree with you to a degree. There are both men and women who would rather deflect, pout or dig heels in then to actually talk out things and approach things maturely. I could care less about apologizing all over the place for stupid stuff. However, if you can't discuss and yes apologize for your part in the big conflicts then it will always remain a conflict. Chances are that these conflicts will repeat over and over in various ways, spawning patterns. That is the personality (male or female) that I have problems communicating with. It's about mutual respect. Either you are capable of it or you are not. Male or female. Hopefully, the 2 people in the relationship have mutual respect. If not, the relationship is one sided or teeter toddered (and probably not great). Quote
Author Lishy Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 So guys if you did something wrong and your girlfriend ended it with you and you knew it was wrong, would you not say sorry? If not then why not? Maybe I will get to the bottom of it Quote
ninjaturtles Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 he did and on the bits he knew he was completely wrong about he just went quiet but would not say sorry! I guess the consensus would be that is because he is not sorry! My question is how can you not apologise to someone for being out of order? Does not make sense to me at all! No, it does not necessarily mean that he is not sorry. Some people I know 'say nothing' in response to accusations, to show that they acknowlege they are wrong. I am not saying this is the case here, but have you ever seen a movie, where for eg A (The guy says to B his girlfriend)- I hate the fact that you did this and that B (The girl )- But I told you I did this only because of the sorrounding circumstances. A (In response)- Ok fair enough, but you still went ahead to do so so and so B- keeps silent, ( thinking in her mind, I should not have done this, I am so sorry and I feel so bad. Sigh. I have nothing to say to this, I really am a jerk) Once again, I am not asserting that this is the case. I know how annoying it is when people know they are in the wrong, yet refuse to apologise. I mean, it does not take that much! However, I must add that his silence does not ascertain your belief that he is/was not sorry. He may simply have refrained from speaking due to reasons such as acknowledgement of his wrong etc. After all, you stated that he defended himself when he could...so it could possibly be inferred from his silence that he realised he was wrong in the certain circumstances and thus kept his mouth shut instead of arguing or trying to defend what there wasnt to defend. Either way, you have decided not to take him back, so I don't think you should allow this behaviour of his get to you, as annoying as it may be. Quote
Author Lishy Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 Well I can't say it is getting to me but it amazes me that it could have been so simple and yet he has made it so huge just by his inability to communicate! Its so amazing he has got to his age and not learned how to communicate in conflict! Quote
brothermartin Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 No matter that they are 100% in the wrong, they want you back but can't say sorry even though they cannot think for one minute they are in the right ......... and when you tell them what they done they just go quiet! why???????????? It does not make sense at all, when I am wrong I admit it and say sorry, it isn't hard! That's strange. I was wondering the same thing about women. All my ex's, especially my last ex, would not apologize for crappy things they did either. Even when they knew they were wrong. I don't think it's a man VS woman thing, I think it's a character VS jackass thing. Quote
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