jdeedee Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Why do some people cope so much better than others? I guess what I mean by that is, what makes some people have such an easy time just... moving on? How is it that they can just deal with the fact that the relationship is over, it's time to cut off all ties and say goodbye -- never to look back. How is it so easy for them to just block you out? For me it feels like pulling teeth, all day.
Ronni_W Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Hey Jdeedee. I know it's a tough road but I just gotta ask: Is there ANY chance that you've become addicted to your own drama? What would be going on in your life RIGHT NOW, if you weren't obsessing over the girl and your feelings about the girl and your desires to learn better coping skills??? What are you getting from this that you could be getting from some other healthier and more productive activities?
Author jdeedee Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 It's possible I guess. I am a really obsessive person and when my mind gets into stuff I kind of lose track and go over and over and over and over and over it again and again, which these forums surely help because if someone gets fed up with me there are tons of other people willing to help. Uhm... what would I be doing if I wasn't obsessing? Not much. I play video games at home and play some music. I'm at work right now which is very slow and unproductive. I watch movies, I don't read but I buy a lot of books So yea, Its really possible I am just obsessing.
Ronni_W Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I play video games at home and play some music. I watch movies, I don't read but I buy a lot of books In one of your other threads, someone gave excellent ideas on some activities: gym, outdoors with friends, etc. Which of those are you planning to do first??? Find something else to occupy your mind -- read some of those books -- pick-up a colouring book and some crayons. Join a group for process addictions (like Gamblers' Anonymous.) When it comes to fun and friendships, there's nothing quite unappealing as a drama junkie. DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT with your thoughts. Nothing is going to shift until you put at least one thing in motion.
Author jdeedee Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 Maybe I'll do the gym. I have to see if the school gym is open today. I haven't exercised in ages (above and beyond the 30 minute walks I've been taking, which don't do much to clear my mind). I don't know if there are any Gambler's Anon meetings in my area, there are lots of AA meetings -- I can't really guess how they would differ in any way shape or form. The thoughts issue is so hard for me, I never know how to change my mind when it's stuck on a process.
Author jdeedee Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 I'm going to a CoDA meeting on Wednesday. I'm very sorry for posting so much and being so repetative/a drama king (queen? lol) here guys. You were right about the process addictions, btw.
Ronni_W Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 ...a drama king (queen? lol) here guys. Yep! Instead of JD, it's gonna be DJ (drama junkie) You change your mind by changing it -- no rocket science involved (thank God, huh?) You think a new thought, you actively do something different, you write a short science-fiction story, you imagine being an astronaut on your way to Mars. YOU JUST DO IT!!!
Confused9 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 good for you jd...your already going to a coda meeting!!! Good for you!!! I am proud of you!
PinkRibbon Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I think you are just having a hard time understanding and letting go. I am going through the same thing and so are numerous people on this board. So if you want to be obsessive then by all means go ahead we are here to listen.
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