TheOrb87 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 this all started 7 months ago, when i met the first girl who ever paid any attention to me as more than just a friend. i was falling for her quickly, because she was the first person i ever had these feelings for, and i told her i wanted to sleep with her because i was falling for her. we did have sex, but she broke up with me a week and a half later. turns out she only wanted me for sex. i think she used my virgin lovey dovey feelings in order to get it, and she broke up with me because she felt guilty about what she did, but i'll never know for sure. so the school year ends and i begin a hard lonely summer, but i join an online dating site to give me some hope. i met a girl on there, and we talk for a month online and over the phone, then meet when we are both back in school. i think she's amazing, and she tells me she likes me a lot. we spend every day together, and i think everything's going fine, but after 3 weeks she tells me she doesn't like me enough to be in a relationship with me we and breaks up with me. i also want to say that we never had sex. now i'm devastated, because that's twice i've let myself develop feelings for a girl and twice i've been rejected in under a month of dating. so i keep looking, asking a few more girls out, but now i can't even get a single date. they just reject me right from the start. few more months of this pass and i find another girl on that site, and we go on one date and i think it went great, it lasted 7 hours and i asked her if she wanted to see me after winter break (this date was right at the end of the school quarter). she says yes. i'm thrilled, i think finally i've got a chance. 3 weeks later, now i'm back in school and i call her to see if she wants to see me. we set up a plan to watch a movie at my place, but she dicthes me and says she wants to get lunch the next day. i say ok, but call her the next day to find that she doesn't want to see me any more (the reason being she wants to try an open relationship with someone and i'm in search of a loving, supportive monogamous relationship not just sex). so now here i am, an emotional wreck. no girl has ever loved me in my whole life, and every time i search for love i just get majorly hurt. & the only girl i have ever had sex with just used me for sex then spit me out. i know i must keep searching, but the depression is becoming too much to bear. rejection after rejection is taking it's toll on me, to the point where i can't sleep at night because i can't stop crying & thinking about what's happened. it's all i think about when i'm alone & not distracted by music/video games/school/etc. i feel like the pain & loneliness has consumed me these past 7 months, and i can no longer fight this alone. i bought an herbal supplement called st. john's wort because i've read it helps with depression, but if it doesn't work i'll need anti-depressants (i want to try an herbal remedy before drugs). i realize this is not a cure, and that the only thing that can cure me is to find the right girl, so i will keep looking until i find her. if i'm rejected again, i only hope my depression doesn't get so bad that i hurt myself, but this is a risk worth taking. i need to find the right girl, i will not be happy until i do. i thank you for reading this and any reply is welcome. i don't know what kind of reply to ask for, i'm not asking a question here i just need to tell this to someone, get it out of my system u know? goodnight, back to hugging my pillow any crying til i fall asleep in the wee hours of the morning...
Jmina Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Hey man, well its clear you have a pattern happening. the right girl isnt going to fix this. you shouldve stopped after the first one to get a grip on yourself first. you need be comfortable with being single and stop searching. when you do stop searching that is when things will happen. you sound pretty needy, so it sounds like all of the girls are turned off by this. you need to let them chase you a bit instead being so available. but before you go 'looking' (which wont work) you need to work on yourself. you sound young, you dont need a relationship right now. you need yourself. keep posting. Jmina
littlekitty Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I agree with Jmina. Finding 'the right girl' isn't going to suddenly fix all your problems and make all your issues go away. You do sound needy, and as she said, it will put girls off. You need to spend sometime working on yourself first. Start working on your depression, and your confidence. You don't sound like you have much confidence or self esteem. Once you are a happier, more confident person, I'm sure you'll find dating much easier.
s_n_d Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I think you need to work on yourself. You need to be comfortable enough with yourself or others wont be comfortable with you. I think that most women sense that you have that lack of self confidence and are scared off. And I agree with what littlekitty said.. The right girl will not make all your troubles go away..Itll only get worse and you could possibly lose the "right girl". But yes it is possible that a woman in your life could make you happier..however not for too long..eventually you will be back where you are now..
Author TheOrb87 Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 ok i'll think about this. i'm 20 btw.
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