Chrome Barracuda Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Very true. Like Dr Dre said you can't make a hoe a housewife but too many men try to do just that and it backfires on them. I don't think that genuine good men finish last but doormats do. A doormat doesn't know how to walk away from a woman that treats him like crap or can't appreciate him and move on with his life. Too often these guys chase after women that are no good and they try to be the knight in shining armor. They try to save a damsel in distress not realizing that the damsel willing jumps in. A smart will only show that loving side to a woman that deserves and appreciates it. Yeah all that knight in armor crap. I aint that no more. Captain-save-a-ho is dead! lol. Alot of times guys dont see it but when they let go and look at things objectively from the outside looking in.
Woggle Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 I have a woman who already had her head on straight and didn't need saving when I met her. I found her and she found me and we made a great pair. She never was one to go for jerks and when her ex fiance cheated on her she dumped him and didn't look back. I suggest all men look for women similiar to this.
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 I have a woman who already had her head on straight and didn't need saving when I met her. I found her and she found me and we made a great pair. She never was one to go for jerks and when her ex fiance cheated on her she dumped him and didn't look back. I suggest all men look for women similiar to this. Indeed!!!
Author FYS Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 I have a woman who already had her head on straight and didn't need saving when I met her. I found her and she found me and we made a great pair. She never was one to go for jerks and when her ex fiance cheated on her she dumped him and didn't look back. I suggest all men look for women similiar to this. I wish it were that easy, man.
Woggle Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 I wish it were that easy, man. Nothing is ever 100% foolproof but a man better his odds by being more selective in the women he dates and avoiding certain types.
Lucasarts Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 ok im sorry but this is just how it is (for MOST GIRLS, NOT ALL) a girl "says" that she wants a nice guy in her life (which is probably true) yet thats because she's living in the ideal fantasy world that the nice guy will be charming, handsome, educated, refined, well spoken, and loving. The sad part is this: There is really NO GUY THAT HAS ALL THOSE ATTRIBUTES! Examples: A good looking guy who has no problem getting the ladies knows this, so why should he try to be sincere, kind, nice, or respectful when hes still getting laid? He doesn't really have to work for it, he doesn't need to be nice and respectful, most girls will just like him for his looks and he'll pretend to be a charmer...then take it to the bedroom. A guy with average looks has to work for what he wants, so obviously he feels the need to either be: the dick that everyone tells him that girls like/want in a guy, or be the nice, friendly, respectful man who treats girls with the decency and kindness they deserve. Now the comes the situation: A girl walks in a bar, both guys make their approach and get the numbers. Why? Because both guys have something the girl wants. The winner? well that is up to the girl, what she finds more attractive in a man, and her own personal desire. 9 out of 10 times, a girl that is approached by an attractive stranger will...hmm, i think go out on a date with him. Really no questions asked, she's probably happy that her own beauty was able to lure such a good looking guy (big confidence boost for her, plus she starts fantasizing about what the guy is going to be like... i.e: Romeo personality). However, the odds for an average looking stranger to get a date with the girl is much less because: Most average looking men have already shown what they've offered (they probably started a conversation, looked and sounded interested in what the girl says, tries to make her comfortable and make her laugh, and then ask her out). The girl will then start thinking, hmm, this guy was pretty nice, sweet, funny, kind, but not so great looking. He's like any other normal, average, nice guy. Chances of a date: 25% i would say. Lets face it: There are a lot of nice guys out there, but girls don't want a boring, nice guy, they need someone to push their buttons every once in awhile, girls loved to be teased. It's just a fact of nature...think about the early days of jr high/middle school, where guys had no game but just teased the girls they liked. Its the same thing now, only the teasing is a bit more intense and maybe more hurtful. The nice guys though? well they tend to blend in more because every girl expects the guy to be nice to her, chivalry is not dead in their minds. When someone is not entirely what you expected/wanted in life, it can make that person more intriguing and attractive (I strongly believe that girls who stay with *******s are convincing themselves that they can be the ones to change the guys attitude; the idea of being the cause of change is a powerfully tempting notion). Nice guys do finish last, but they don't always lose. Like someone said earlier, try to be the perfect blend of both, and you'll have girls loving you forever. Play both ends of the table, learn to be an ass at the right times, yet still be sincere and respectful.
Leoni Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Nice guys do finish last, but they don't always lose. Like someone said earlier, try to be the perfect blend of both, and you'll have girls loving you forever. Play both ends of the table, learn to be an ass at the right times, yet still be sincere and respectful. Here's where the confusion might lie. You don't have to be an ass, to be assertive.
Lucasarts Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 assertive? as in calm, collected, cool, confident, a lil aggressive? hmmm thats how to act when you're trying to get a girl. The point is trying to keep one.
Leoni Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Why do you need to act? If you have to act to "get" or "keep" a girl, you're destined to have relationship issues. If you feel you need to change, do it but do it for yourself, before you get into any kind of acting role. In an acting role, you'll sooner or later bust out of character. This is exactly why women have issues with guys who role-play. Who they fell for, isn't the real person inside.
spookie Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 The nice guys have turned on me by becoming cheating musicians (at which point we broke up), but I've never gone for the bad boys. My ideal "type" is the loner scientist workaholic.
Dynamo Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 If its any help, I posted a similar thread not too long ago. I got some excellent responses - feel free to read through it. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t137765/
mylovegrowsdeeper Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 I agree with cali guy. Door Mat-ass kissers finish last. Good men don't. I've been with my man for about 8 months. He's wonderful. If we fight- it's constructive- we stick to the issues and vent without tearing eachother down with erroneous insults. Never once has he raised his voice to me in a disrespectful manner. Never once has he called me something disrespectful or cut me down, even in a fight and vice versa. We get a long most of the time, but we can disagree with eachother or get in a spat and know that neither one is going to walk out the door just because we encounter a problem. We both have a strong committment to working through our problems, compromising and getting to a resolution. He doesn't cheat on me, he has never once done anything malicious towards me. In addition- he doesn't let me get away with crap either. He holds me accountable or will call me out if I am out of line, but do it in a way that I know he's just looking out for my best interest. He buys me gifts and does sweet things for me- but in moderation and modestly. We have a wonderful loving, committed, fun relationship. We don't have a relationship that uses petty fights and trivial drama's to add spice or adventure. We are just a great match. We bring out the best in one another and inspire eachother and I'm not being abused verbally or emotionally, abandoned, ignored none of that. Also, little girls like bad boys, real women look for a good solid man. Being nice to us does not mean giving to our every whim, kissing our asses, and doing whatever we want.I don't know..everytime I hear someone complain about the mind games they are dealing with or other too common relationship troubles I just sigh and think to myself "God I'm lucky I never go through that ****". It isn't because I'm so high and mighty or special, I just simply got a clue and expected more for myself and it paid off. Now I'm with the love of my life.
Phateless Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Women respond to how you make them feel. The bay boys are a thrill, they're exciting. Predictable, punctual, available... there's no challenge there. I think you're just making the women too high of a priority in your life. Demote them a peg and see what happens.
DutchGuy Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 It's a quantity / quality thing. Nice guys may not date a lot, but we'll end up with a catch in the end. Casanova's end up divorced. It's just going to take a while before nice guys overtake the bad guys, "nice guys finish late, but better".
Woggle Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 It's a quantity / quality thing. Nice guys may not date a lot, but we'll end up with a catch in the end. Casanova's end up divorced. It's just going to take a while before nice guys overtake the bad guys, "nice guys finish late, but better". It depends. Sometimes nice guys end up with a witch who cheats on them, has little to no respect for them and eventually divorces them. A man has to have enough of a backbone to only show the loving side to women who are truly worth it.
lindya Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 The absolute worst is the man that disguises himself as a nice, good, caring man...and then POW, all of the sudden everything changes and that nice, caring gentleman becomes a self-centered, immature prick. Sadly, that has happened to me before...right after sleeping with him. But how can you see it coming in advance, rather than getting taken for a sucker? Any insight on how to spot the ******* hiding in a nice guy costume before getting sucked in? It takes a bit of time to fathom a person, and I think you need to see how they behave in a variety of settings - and, particularly, in a variety of groups. I'm not too interested in the "nice guy" labels a man attaches to himself. Far more important is the extent to which he comes across as being honest, strong, independent and consistent. Those four things form the basis of trustworthiness in my view - and my observation of a lot of self-professed nice guys is that they don't necessarily have those qualities in abundance. Some do, of course...but genuinely good guys generally have too much class and good judgement to bang/whine on about how nice they are. I mentioned watching how a guy behaves in different groups and settings. In my view the worst kind of man is the chameleon whose persona can seem to change dramatically according to who he's spending time with. Of course he's going to seem like an ultra nice guy when he's with you. That's the nature of chameleons. They'll be whatever they think other people want them to be. Temporarily, at least.
Lucasarts Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 this is a never-ending debate b/c of how each and every person thinks and behaves and what they like/dislike. generally speaking though nice guys do finish last, why else are there so many women on here who ask and complain about their SO's being bastards? i mean you really dont have to look too far from here to notice that.
DutchGuy Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 It depends. Sometimes nice guys end up with a witch who cheats on them, has little to no respect for them and eventually divorces them. A man has to have enough of a backbone to only show the loving side to women who are truly worth it. Seen Norbit? I think nice guys are guys that choose to be nice, not guys that have no social skills.
Leoni Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Why do you need to act? If you have to act to "get" or "keep" a girl, you're destined to have relationship issues. If you feel you need to change, do it but do it for yourself, before you get into any kind of acting role. In an acting role, you'll sooner or later bust out of character. This is exactly why women have issues with guys who role-play. Who they fell for, isn't the real person inside. this is a never-ending debate b/c of how each and every person thinks and behaves and what they like/dislike. generally speaking though nice guys do finish last, why else are there so many women on here who ask and complain about their SO's being bastards? i mean you really dont have to look too far from here to notice that. Refer to above, for the response. When someone acts like a great guy to begin with, then can't hold it together after that, women get frustrated. You can apply this to women who are acting, at the beginning, too.
Phateless Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 It depends. Sometimes nice guys end up with a witch who cheats on them, has little to no respect for them and eventually divorces them. A man has to have enough of a backbone to only show the loving side to women who are truly worth it. Yep, I like this. I was a nice guy for years and I got taken advantage of, big-time, and by a girl who I now know is beneath me. Most nice guys act that way because they have no other idea how to build a connection with a woman and they feel that she is better than them and they have to supplicate to her. When you feel as if you are on an even playing field with women, everything changes.
lindya Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Yep, I like this. I was a nice guy for years and I got taken advantage of, big-time, and by a girl who I now know is beneath me. Most nice guys act that way because they have no other idea how to build a connection with a woman and they feel that she is better than them and they have to supplicate to her. When you feel as if you are on an even playing field with women, everything changes. That sounds as though it has more to do with feeling powerless than being nice. Or do the two words mean the same thing when it comes to the Nice Guy debate? Maybe the ideal would be the guy who feels powerful but who doesn't let that sensation of power go to his head with the result that he behaves like a ****.
Woggle Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 That is it in a nutshell. Nice guys think women are these superior beings who are better than them and should be elevated to a higher position. They willingly become doormats and women for the most part are not attracted to that. Some ballbusting feminists might want a lapdog who she can treat like a child but that is not most women. A women should have to earn admiration and respect based on her character and her actions not becaus she is born with a vagina.
Phateless Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 That sounds as though it has more to do with feeling powerless than being nice. Or do the two words mean the same thing when it comes to the Nice Guy debate? Maybe the ideal would be the guy who feels powerful but who doesn't let that sensation of power go to his head with the result that he behaves like a ****. Basically, yes. It's all tied to insecurity as well. It's a whole big mess in one's head that's hard to explain, but now that I'm past it, I feel amazing. I used to walk around, seeing beautiful women, and feel like a caged animal because I thought nobody would have me. Now I feel like I can pick and choose. I walk around and see women checking me out everywhere I go. It's a pretty cool feeling. I reserve all the special stuff for a woman who has proved she's worth it.
Leoni Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 That is it in a nutshell. Nice guys think women are these superior beings who are better than them and should be elevated to a higher position. They willingly become doormats and women for the most part are not attracted to that. Some ballbusting feminists might want a lapdog who she can treat like a child but that is not most women. A women should have to earn admiration and respect based on her character and her actions not becaus she is born with a vagina. See, here's what's always confused me. Why does someone want to be elevated above the other partner? It's a long way to fall, if you prove yourself to be human.
Racquel Colette Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 You're not every girl's "style" either (they just aren't that into you). It's no one's fault and has nothing to do with any character flaws in women as you suggest. It's just chemistry and you can't change attraction, either they are or they aren't and apparently lots of women aren't attracted to you. Sorry.
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