brokenthinker Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Well my wedding anniversary is next week. I feel extremely depressed and lonely. It's been almost 4 months and my wife hasn't made one single ounce of effort to contact me. It seem's all of his family is finally accepted her (hers still hasnt).. She just posted a bunch of pictures of her and him at his mothers wedding from today (his mom just got remarried.. cheated on his dad too!) They are all hugging and kissing and smiling... I doubt she even thinks about me anymore. And here I am trying to get a life and am completely miserable while she is happy. I don't think their relationship is going to end. She has invented a new life for herself and he somehow is able to keep her happy. I really do feel like jumping off a cliff. this is all too much for me to take, i don't think I will ever see my wife again. I don't understand how someone could walk away and not care and live a perefect happy life, but it happened. So here I am, my anniversary is next week, and I'm back to square one.
whichwayisup Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I'm sorry you're hurting.. Please do yourself a favour, stop going to the site where those pictures are posted. The less you know about her and what's going on the better off you will be. It's like pouring salt into an open cut for you right now.
Mr. Lucky Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Try finding something and get obsessive about it. For me it was tennis, after our separation I played 5-6 nights a week. For a buddy of mine in a similar situation, it was running. It's a good "crutch" to take your mind off it all and get to a point where you can at least consider a life after. It doesn't help much to hear, but you're in the toughest part right now... Mr. Lucky
Author brokenthinker Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 Try finding something and get obsessive about it. For me it was tennis, after our separation I played 5-6 nights a week. For a buddy of mine in a similar situation, it was running. It's a good "crutch" to take your mind off it all and get to a point where you can at least consider a life after. It doesn't help much to hear, but you're in the toughest part right now... Mr. Lucky Yeah I wish i could find something to be obsessive about but I really am not finding much enjoyment in ANYTHING. This whole past 5 months that she has been in this affair has really torn me... and she has been in affairs with other men spanning the whole year... I feel extremely jaded and broken to the point where I don't even enjoy anyones company anymore just because I don't look at the glass of life as half full anymore... People say they believe Karma will get her in the end, but I can't recall doing anything bad to make Karma smite me this way. Doesn't help to kick a man while he is already down and depressed. =\
twice_shy Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Well my wedding anniversary is next week. I feel extremely depressed and lonely. It's been almost 4 months and my wife hasn't made one single ounce of effort to contact me. It seem's all of his family is finally accepted her (hers still hasnt).. She just posted a bunch of pictures of her and him at his mothers wedding from today (his mom just got remarried.. cheated on his dad too!) They are all hugging and kissing and smiling... I doubt she even thinks about me anymore. And here I am trying to get a life and am completely miserable while she is happy. I don't think their relationship is going to end. She has invented a new life for herself and he somehow is able to keep her happy. I really do feel like jumping off a cliff. this is all too much for me to take, i don't think I will ever see my wife again. I don't understand how someone could walk away and not care and live a perefect happy life, but it happened. So here I am, my anniversary is next week, and I'm back to square one. don't you dare say you feel like jumping off a cliff!!! Nobody is worth ending your life, especially someone who cheats. Sounds like it runs in the family. Be glad that you will be getting rid of someone like that. You can find someone that will treat you right and there are people out there that don't cheat, as crazy as that sounds. What comes around goes around, and she will get hers at some point. I know you are hurting, but in the long run you will see that this is the best thing for you. I know you probably don't believe that, neither did I. But in the end, I'm glad I got a divorce. Just keep your chin up and no more talk about jumping off a cliff!! Go hang out with some buds, have have a few Buds. Just think of it this way. She is a cheater, she is no good to you or anyone else.
Confused9 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 And the what goes around comes around...We say cheaters will get theirs but then I think about it...what in the world did I do to deserve this? What is my karma or what goes around comes around offense? Or do some people just have bad luck?
PinkRibbon Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 You know that makes me wonder also. Who in the higher up I made mad to have my husband cheat and leave me?? If this is my Karma then wow! But I still keep hoping it will turn around and bite him. Sorry you are having to see pictures of them. Makes it much harder to get through this. I would try really hard not to go to the website and look at them. Does make it a tiny bit easier when you don't have to look at them. I hope you make it through this.
Author brokenthinker Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 You know that makes me wonder also. Who in the higher up I made mad to have my husband cheat and leave me?? If this is my Karma then wow! But I still keep hoping it will turn around and bite him. Sorry you are having to see pictures of them. Makes it much harder to get through this. I would try really hard not to go to the website and look at them. Does make it a tiny bit easier when you don't have to look at them. I hope you make it through this. I know it really is setting me back. But it's hard not to when you live in an new area and know NO ONE. =\ I guess I do it in part because I am wanting their affair to end and look for signs... but I guess I have to accept the fact that this little douchebag makes her happy in ways I never could and since she is young it probably will work out for them.
Confused9 Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 I hope you get through this too PR. I look at pics too...it's a bad idea.
abeliever Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 broken- Well I am in the same boat with you. H keeps telling me he didn't cheat cause I moved out and filed for a divorce etc. It breaks a person down but you do have to go on. I am considering a anti-depressant. Although, if I do it will keep me from getting insurance later on. So, I am taking natural stuff now but with no help so far. Hang in there I think and hope we can move forward and look back and laugh although I really don't see it now. Hope it helps. abeliever
JustBreathe Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 I know it is hard to look it this way right now but what have you really lost? A cheater and a liar. You could never trust her again anyway. All she did was give you room to enter into a better relationship. Think about how her new relationship began - with lying and screwing around. They'll always have that nagging worry that one or the other might cheat. Yeah, what a perfect life that's gonna be. Don't jump off a cliff, but do get out of the house more. Do whatever takes your mind off of it and brings you peace. Walk in the sun as much as possible. Go to the gym. Take up some kind of sport and do it until you get to tired to think. Consider a class in something creative or something you've always wanted to try. What about school? If you never finished, maybe you can enroll. Even though I work full time, I go to school part time. All that homework keeps you busy. As soon as you think you can, stop focusing on her sorry life and start rebuilding your own. Remember who you used to be - that person is still in there somewhere. Be kind to yourself, nurse yourself back to health, like you would anyone who has suffered a great trauma.
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