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Posted

i slept with an ex (no alcohol involved) after he pursued it for a while. In all honesty i just wanted to see what it would feel like.

 

used to be amazing - this time was probably the worst i've ever had.

 

i have no idea how or why. i used to think i've never been more physically compatible with anyone before him and that he was the love of my life, etc...

 

now i wonder what the hell was i thinking.

 

it seemed like he had no idea what he was doing.

 

was it all based on my feelings for him before?

Posted

I think when you are in love with a person the sex is naturally better because there is an emotional connection that goes deeper than a physical connection.

Posted

Yes, your feelings played a big role in it.

Posted

On the contrary, love is based on good sex.

Posted

Admiration => Good Sex => Love => Marriage => Loss of Admiration => Crappy or No Sex => Loss of Love => Divorce.

Posted

hen you are in love with a person the sex is naturally better because there is an emotional connection that goes deeper than a physical connect

 

yep.

 

and incidentally, sleeping with an ex to see if he was as really bad as you initially thought is a TERRIBLE idea. They generally don't tend to improve and you're even more disappointed then you were back then! :eek:

Posted
Admiration => Good Sex => Love => Marriage => Loss of Admiration => Crappy or No Sex => Loss of Love => Divorce.

What about OW/OM??

Posted

such incredible fireball sex that you're driving by his house all hours of the night with a huge jar of Vaseline in one hand and chain-smoking cigarettes with the other

Posted
such incredible fireball sex that you're driving by his house all hours of the night with a huge jar of Vaseline in one hand and chain-smoking cigarettes with the other

I know exactly what you mean. You can be nine inches away, and it's still too far.

Posted
I know exactly what you mean. You can be nine inches away, and it's still too far.

 

Don't brag.

Posted
i slept with an ex (no alcohol involved) after he pursued it for a while. In all honesty i just wanted to see what it would feel like.

 

used to be amazing - this time was probably the worst i've ever had.

 

i have no idea how or why. i used to think i've never been more physically compatible with anyone before him and that he was the love of my life, etc...

 

now i wonder what the hell was i thinking.

 

it seemed like he had no idea what he was doing.

 

was it all based on my feelings for him before?

 

It probably was based more on your feelings, as they say love is blind or sucks or something of that nature.

Posted
Marriage => Loss of Admiration => Crappy or No Sex => Loss of Love => Divorce.

 

Hmm sounds familiar

  • Author
Posted

thanks all... i think i disagree about great sex = love. i think admiration / chemistry / attraction leads to lust then good sex and love happen at about the same time.

 

to answer your comment - i didn't sleep with him to see if he would be as terrible as he was. on the contrary - it used to be AMAZING - i'm talking about almost an out of body experience - multiple orgasms, etc.

this time it was a real let down. it just felt like he was completely not in tune with my body, also seemed like his ... shrunk 2 inches at least...lol

 

how crazy is that?

 

(ps - i haven't had much sex after him - so i don't think it's me size wise).

Posted
- it used to be AMAZING - i'm talking about almost an out of body experience - multiple orgasms, etc.

A woman can only experience so many orgasms in a lifetime. That number is pretty huge, so most people never reach it. But maybe you have used them all up.

 

There is, of course, a simple way to test this. Are you able to get out of your own body by yourself?

Posted
A woman can only experience so many orgasms in a lifetime. That number is pretty huge, so most people never reach it. But maybe you have used them all up.

 

W T F?????? ^ ^ :confused:

 

Thread topic: is good sex based on love??

 

not to me: LOVE = Good sex

Posted
I think when you are in love with a person the sex is naturally better because there is an emotional connection that goes deeper than a physical connection.

 

Yes, sex is good when both partners are emotionally connected. That is why FWB will not work for me.

Posted (edited)

When my ex and I were really together, sex was mind blowing, and nothing felt more perfect and comforting than being in his arms. It was two solid years of f*cking and fighting.

 

We stayed "best friends" after he moved back to his own country, and I still felt my heart leap whenever I heard his voice. After a year and a half he came here for a visit, and we naturally fell back into bed with each other. My body felt like it didn't have a choice, but emotionally I was a zombie. I felt like I was on autopilot the whole time.

 

Something about what turned me on changed. I couldn't do the crazy/crazed "just for now" thing anymore. My desire for a real mate put a wall around my nerves. I could no longer let myself be that close to a man whom I would soon be driving to the airport, again.

Edited by CalamitousJane
Posted

When my wife and i split up for around 2 months, we did have sex 2-3 times in that gap and i got to say it was as good as ever, but as we did get back together I wonder if we were evr 'truly' apart?

 

On the thread topic though, I personally think it is a good combination of both, but is also dependant on the person.

 

You can have good sex say on a one night stand as there is excitement and a certain 'naughtiness' to it, but I know with my wife we both know what 'buttons' to press which makes good sex every time!

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