Author birdmadgirl Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Maybe he isn't that confident about having a personal preference. Maybe not. Heh.
sb129 Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Sure, fair enough. But its still very much HIS problem, and one wonders if it was then too. Do you think that his ex would have made him feel that he was coming between her and her child? I doubt that, but I am not a parent, so... His attitude still strikes me as a little immature, as isn't it obvious that parents still have to have relationships outside of the ones they have with their children?
sb129 Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Not trying to argue with him- I do respect peoples decisions etc, but I am not convinced by his reasoning.
Author birdmadgirl Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Sure, fair enough. But its still very much HIS problem, and one wonders if it was then too. Do you think that his ex would have made him feel that he was coming between her and her child? I doubt that, but I am not a parent, so... His attitude still strikes me as a little immature, as isn't it obvious that parents still have to have relationships outside of the ones they have with their children? Oh, I'm with you all the way, SB, and you make an excellent point. I love my daughter more than life itself, but I still want to be desired and cherished on a romantic level. Amusingly, there are large numbers of people who are of the opinion that divorced/single moms should remain single as a penance of sorts for not making it work with the fathers of their children.
StartingOver07 Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 In ShyGuy's response, he told me that he had actually dated a single mother before. He said that the entire time they were together, he felt he was taking a mother away from her child, and this is why he doesn't date single moms now. That doesn't anger or upset me in the least, and it's probably a bit easier to swallow since it's coming from someone who tried it before knocking it. Ok, so 1. Maybe he's not a virgin and 2. This is actually rather decent of him. Assuming he meant it in the sense that he was doing the child a disservice, not that he resented that the mom had priorities other than him.
Author birdmadgirl Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Not trying to argue with him- I do respect peoples decisions etc, but I am not convinced by his reasoning. I'm not really, either, to be honest, but it is what it is.
StartingOver07 Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Oh, I'm with you all the way, SB, and you make an excellent point. I love my daughter more than life itself, but I still want to be desired and cherished on a romantic level. Amusingly, there are large numbers of people who are of the opinion that divorced/single moms should remain single as a penance of sorts for not making it work with the fathers of their children. Interesting. I've never experienced this. What I've experienced (not always, of course) are men who want you to give all your time to them and resent the time you spend with your children. These men don't last long with me.
Author birdmadgirl Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Ok, so 1. Maybe he's not a virgin and 2. This is actually rather decent of him. Assuming he meant it in the sense that he was doing the child a disservice, not that he resented that the mom had priorities other than him. I agree, which is why I can't be upset about this. I'm just disappointed that this is the outcome after having spent so much time working up the nerve to say something.
sb129 Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Which is totally understandable. I would feel pretty disappointed too, BMG, and your reaction is normal. Don't be disheartened though, I still think you are a pretty good catch, and its his loss, not yours. Imagine how long it would have taken to get him to start initiating sex! One good thing is at least he has been honest and upfront, and hasn't taken advantage of you in any way. There are so many man-critters who would.
Author birdmadgirl Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Interesting. I've never experienced this. What I've experienced (not always, of course) are men who want you to give all your time to them and resent the time you spend with your children. These men don't last long with me. Again, it hasn't been an issue with me, specifically, but I've had conversations with people (and have read message boards dedicated to the topic) who say the nastiest things based on some very harsh assumptions and judgments. I've also received some outside criticism for keeping my life with my daughter separate from my romantic pursuits, as though I'm being deceptive about it. I do not hide my child from anyone, but I also don't see any point in being Soccer Mom whilst on a date. If we were seriously involved, that would be a very different story.
Author birdmadgirl Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 I still think you are a pretty good catch, and its his loss, not yours. Imagine how long it would have taken to get him to start initiating sex! This nearly made me choke on my beverage. One good thing is at least he has been honest and upfront, and hasn't taken advantage of you in any way. There are so many man-critters who would. Absolutely. I'm feeling better about all of it and could probably even be his friend now. I'll just have to fight the urge to undress him with my eyes.
sb129 Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Undress him with your eyes but imagine him with a bratwurst instead of a penis. Then you will get the giggles every time you see him instead of the horn.
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