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what happens next?

demonspawn

By demonspawn
in Long-Distance Relationships

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demonspawn Member

demonspawn

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hello LS

 

Here is my story

 

I'm a 24 year old guy

I met this girl who's 20 yrs old online(we have mutual friends, so we decided to meet up at my friends when she threw a party back in mid october of last year) and lives about 1 hour and a half to 2 hours from me. From the point that we met in person, we hit it off very well.

 

On Halloween, I invited her to a small party at my friends house and we had a good time. She then landed up kissing me/having sex that night, with her initiating both those first...I thought it was just a spur of the moment thing from her but as we continued to hang out(she comes to see me every 2 weeks or so, my car cannot make it to go see her) she told me she likes me and wants to be with me.

 

Now with me, I was in a long distance relationship before and it didnt work out. Every time I bring up to her that I don't like distance she just shrugs it off and says "so u dont trust me?". I believe trust takes time...and lots of it.. at least in my opinion.

 

She keeps telling me she misses me and likes me...I do care for her very much as well...but I just dont know if im ready to be in this with her. Normally people have some final plan with an LDR to move in with eachother and what not...but I dont have that ambition to move in and live with someone just yet(im still young) nor does she wanna move out from where shes at and neither do I(I love Los angeles and plan to live here all my life). Dont get me wrong..I do have the ambition to be in a relationship...but i dont know about a LDR.

 

Also, when she comes down..We normally both stay the night at a friend of mines...sadly on the floor with a bunch of blankets..Lately ive been starting to dislike it(I like beds)...but I cant bring her to my house since I still live with my folks and there is already enough people living at home(I have a big family).

 

Another thing is lately shes been calling me wayy too much(about 6-8 times a day)...and its starting to annoy me and my family at times. I'm also not much of a phone person, i'm more of an in person guy. I told her this and she just says "well I cant see you everyday"...and still continues to do it on some days.

 

Vday is coming up and she says she wants to spend it with me and already got me a gift...so I'm stuck about what to do now. I'm pretty sure shes gonna pop the boyfriend question again...But I'm confused, what should I do?...I do care and like her very much(so far shes been a nice/good gal)....the only killer of this though is the distance...which is holding me back from giving her my all. ANY input would be greatly appreciated...thank you all for reading this

Edited by demonspawn
title wierd
TMichaels Established Member

TMichaels

Posted
Posted

Sounds to me like though you are flattered in some ways by her interest, you're not comfortable with her level of agressiveness.

 

You said it best yourself:

 

I just dont know if im ready to be in this with her.

 

While there's nothing wrong with LDR's, I'd go with your gut and give this one a pass.

 

Hope this helps,

TMichaels

Elyssa Established Member

Elyssa

Posted
Posted (edited)

Demonspawn,

 

I, too, used to say I would never move away from my home city because I loved it so much and when the right man came along, I moved to a different city I don't like at all (in a whole different country, too!) for the sake of being with him. He and I met online as well (in an mmorpg), and neither had any plans of settling down and marrying at that time.

 

You never know what you might do in the future. Keep your options open and allow yourself to enjoy this budding relationship. She's obviously interested in you and you seem to be too, only being held back by the long distance.

 

What can you lose, really? Take it one day at a time!

 

-E

Edited by Elyssa
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  • 3 weeks later...
hearts chanel New Member

hearts chanel

Posted
Posted

be straight up honest with her... and when you tell her how you feel, make sure she understands and doesn't "shrug it off." if you go into this relationship with the mind set you have right now, it's not going be good. take your time and tell her to slow down a bit and then see how it goes.

kaysnoop New Member

kaysnoop

Posted
Posted

i think ur way to young to start a relationship.... one u live at home and the girl is only 20. If you really love the person and you can c urself in a few years having babies and a family then i would say yes... commit to it, an hour away is nothing, try have the person you love live oversseas and all you can do is see them thru webcam.

it already seems as if she is a bit annoying i would jus tell her u need some space and don't lie jus tell her the truth.... girls are always crazy and sometimes we need to be told maybe more than once that we're annoying.

if anything i would say focus on u , ur young and you still live at home.... you don't wanna waste any time on a girl trust me

 

 

Hello LS

 

Here is my story

 

I'm a 24 year old guy

I met this girl who's 20 yrs old online(we have mutual friends, so we decided to meet up at my friends when she threw a party back in mid october of last year) and lives about 1 hour and a half to 2 hours from me. From the point that we met in person, we hit it off very well.

 

On Halloween, I invited her to a small party at my friends house and we had a good time. She then landed up kissing me/having sex that night, with her initiating both those first...I thought it was just a spur of the moment thing from her but as we continued to hang out(she comes to see me every 2 weeks or so, my car cannot make it to go see her) she told me she likes me and wants to be with me.

 

Now with me, I was in a long distance relationship before and it didnt work out. Every time I bring up to her that I don't like distance she just shrugs it off and says "so u dont trust me?". I believe trust takes time...and lots of it.. at least in my opinion.

 

She keeps telling me she misses me and likes me...I do care for her very much as well...but I just dont know if im ready to be in this with her. Normally people have some final plan with an LDR to move in with eachother and what not...but I dont have that ambition to move in and live with someone just yet(im still young) nor does she wanna move out from where shes at and neither do I(I love Los angeles and plan to live here all my life). Dont get me wrong..I do have the ambition to be in a relationship...but i dont know about a LDR.

 

Also, when she comes down..We normally both stay the night at a friend of mines...sadly on the floor with a bunch of blankets..Lately ive been starting to dislike it(I like beds)...but I cant bring her to my house since I still live with my folks and there is already enough people living at home(I have a big family).

 

Another thing is lately shes been calling me wayy too much(about 6-8 times a day)...and its starting to annoy me and my family at times. I'm also not much of a phone person, i'm more of an in person guy. I told her this and she just says "well I cant see you everyday"...and still continues to do it on some days.

 

Vday is coming up and she says she wants to spend it with me and already got me a gift...so I'm stuck about what to do now. I'm pretty sure shes gonna pop the boyfriend question again...But I'm confused, what should I do?...I do care and like her very much(so far shes been a nice/good gal)....the only killer of this though is the distance...which is holding me back from giving her my all. ANY input would be greatly appreciated...thank you all for reading this

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