Slippy72 Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 What signs should I look for that my ex is really finished with me and sees us as having no future? We broke up a while back and have told each other we missed the relationship every now and then (far more her than me). But she's 'seeing' someone else now, it's not too serious of a relationship, but she hasn't contacted me in a while now. Is there any way of finding out if your ex is finally over you without flat out asking them?
oppath Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 It's over when YOU DECIDE "I do not want her back, I want to move forward with my life." That doesn't mean you won't have feelings or think about her or feel pain. She doesn't matter. Her thoughts and feelings don't matter. If you really are holding out hope for another chance, you can either decide "nope, I'm done with her" or flat out ask her for another chance, laying it all on the line. Because the more soon you can do that, the more soon you can accept finality.
Lishy Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 Hey Gooner, It is pretty much over when they date someone else!
s_n_d Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 Yeah its definitely over when the person starts seeing someone else..
smileysmile Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 what do you mean when they start seeing somebody else? You mean ACTUALLY boyfriend/girlfriend thing? Or in my case my STBXW having a physical thing going on and no emtional attachment because her head is all screwed up. If you have read my story after our split she got attention off an ex co worker who pursued her. She is not dating him. But has been "there" for her dealing with the crap she was put through by me. One thing led to another and obviously it made her feel good and not to mention her self esteem. He is black and she is white as snow and I am pretty certain it wouldn't lead some place else. As she told me she can't be bothered..she isn't seeing him he just rings up for a chat (always the same these charmers putting there 'best foot forward' and there caring side to get them into bed and the ex thinks they are a nice guy and genuinely care for them lol). I have emotional damaged her. This is what she is telling me. So does this mean ITS OVER for me then?
Lishy Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 Would you take her back after her telling you that Smiley? If so then you need a large dose of self esteem!!!!!!!!!
smileysmile Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 telling me what Lishy? Please say it how it is? We were split and I gave her hell when i found out. We were split so I can say nothing. I appologised for 1 or 2 words I called her but not for being upset so soon after we split. Maybe I am missing something here? I spoke with her tonight when I dropped D off. She brought up all the crap I put her through. And a few other things to make me feel like crap. I stayed humble as she went on. I acknowledged all what she said. I said don't you think I haven't beaten myself up everyday since we split. How I destroyed our family. I mentioned that I was seeing a counsellor in 4 weeks time for my "issues". Deep rooted I guess. She did ask me when will it be? Also I sobbed, couldn't get my words out. How crap I felt. She just listened and maybe she is trying to hurt me. She also mentioned what I had written above. She says this is your penance (not seeing my D as much) for breaking this family up. I have to go to C for MYSELF and sort my head out. So do I still deserve her telling me all this Lishy? Tell me how it is
Lishy Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 SHe is obviously out to hurt you like you hurt her! I bet if we heard her side in her words we would agree that you had treated her bad. I am assuming this as you have admitted in other posts that you had treated her bad. what I was saying in a post above is that if I split with my partner and he started screwing a girl and told me all about it I could never get back with him, EVER! I do not know your wife hon so I cant say for sure, but you asked for it like it is and in my opinion it does not look good for getting back together. And even if you did it would be toxic as too much has gone on in the split I think! Sorry
Lee725 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Is there any way of finding out if your ex is finally over you without flat out asking them? no because if the relationship is still so raw she would probably change her mind periodically still. as another poster said, it has to come from within you.
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