spooty Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 me and the bf broke up a couple days before christmas, but we still exchanged presents. i got him a watch and he went really over the top and got me a new computer and all the stuff to go with it (over $1500 worth of things!) i didn't see him until jan 2nd and i didn't get my presents until the 4th, and i know he bought them AFTER we broke up. he said more-or-less that he spent the most money on my present (out of our group of friends) because i'm the person he cares about most. he also said that even though we broke up he doesn't want me out of his life. the thing is, since we broke up NOTHING about our relationship has changed, not a thing! i think all he wanted was freedom from the emotional responsibility because he said he could never feel about me the way i feel about him. then he went on to say he probably won't date for a very long time because he probably can't love anyone or anything, he thinks he just doesn't feel emotions the way he should and it's not fair to me. so since we broke up we've gotten along a lot better and we actually spend a lot more time together! but, whenever it comes up he will not hesitate to say he's single, like when our friend visited he got a tarot reading for kicks and when he was saying what the lady told him about being newly single our friend said "oh well she's wrong!" and bf said "but i am newly single...etc" and to that our friend just looked confused. me and him were never that affectionate in public but you can certainly tell that we are together by the way we interact. we're best friends, and that makes this so much harder! so, what should i make of this? we've been getting along better, having better sex (not that much, but about the same frequency as before) and spending lots of quality time together... but we're not together?? he's not been with anyone else, and i doubt he's looking because he's been spending all his free time with me. we graduate in may and then i think we will go our separate ways, but i'm afraid that if i ask to stay close he'll return to the "we're not together" fact, even though all our actions say we are. i'm thinking of making a move on valentine's day. i got him a gold covered rose for our 5 year anniversary but chickened out on giving it to him since we had a fight at the time. i was thinking of giving it to him with a heartfelt letter saying that i'll love him the same no matter if he can feel it or not. and that i don't love for whatever feelings he can or can't return, i love him for who he is. i don't care if he's emotionally incapable, i still want to be with him. should i do it? he says he thinks he shouldn't be in long term relationships and i'm probably the longest he'll ever be with anyone. i don't want him to graduate and dissolve out of my life to be alone (i don't know if he wants to be alone or if he thinks he should be alone). he doesn't keep friends for that long and i've been in his life at least 3 times as long as anyone else. but he doesn't want me to stick around waiting for him to feel something that he knows he can't. or should i just enjoy what we have now since it's pretty much the same relationship only better!
s_n_d Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Do you really want this... Being with someone who doesnt love you, yet you keep fooling around? Your just going to be more hurt in the end... when you both graduate and you cant be with him.. You need to move on or else give him some time to think about what he really wants..
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