jdeedee Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Next Sunday is her birthday I can't help but want to text her, buy flowers (even anonymously) just do something. I know it isn't the right thing to do, she isn't asking for anything and surely doesn't want to hear from me but it hurts. I miss her and knowing she will be spending a birthday without me. Knowing I will be spending her birthday without her...
s_n_d Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Awww. I feel your pain. I dont even know what to say... Do whatever your heart tells you too. And Report back on here to let us know what happens..
Tony T Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Next Sunday is her birthday I can't help but want to text her, buy flowers (even anonymously) just do something. I know it isn't the right thing to do, she isn't asking for anything and surely doesn't want to hear from me but it hurts. I miss her and knowing she will be spending a birthday without me. Knowing I will be spending her birthday without her... She spent many birthdays without you before she met you. This is simply part of life. You can let it hurt you if you like but I recommend you being kind to yourself. Just quietly whisper happy birthday to her into the air next Sunday and then go on a have a beer somewhere. Forget her and get used to the idea that there's somebody else out there who needs your birthday wishes more.
Author jdeedee Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 Buying her flowers, anonymous or not, is a bad idea right? I'm going to talk to my therapist about it on Monday but I have a feeling everyone will say it is. Its so close to the breakup still, it'll be a little under two months when her birthday occurs, and I have a feeling sending flowers would be a setup for disaster in my own recovery. But deep down inside I secretly long to send her a bouqet of dasies (her favorite flower) and know she might smile when they are sitting on her front steps.
PinkRibbon Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 You know if you want her back then buy her the biggest bunch of flowers you can afford and deliver them yourself. Don't go tha maby pamby way and text her. What kind of lame stuff is that...I'll text her. You want her and miss her then go after her. At least you can say you made a whole hearted attempt at getting her back. I would hate to think I missed my opportunity because all I did was send her a lame text. And recovery will come when it is ready weather of not you send her flowers but if you don't get the flowers then you will foever be wondering if you missed your chance. I would much rather take a chance and fail then to have never tried.
Ronni_W Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 Buying her flowers, anonymous or not, is a bad idea right? I'm going to talk to my therapist about it on Monday but I have a feeling everyone will say it is. Jdeedee, YOU know it is a horrible idea because you are really struggling with your obsessive thoughts about her and trying to get a handle on all of that. She does not want to hear from you. Do NOT buy her flowers, or text her, or snail mail a card to her. Leave her alone and just keep working on your biggest goal, which is to get over this with sanity and self-respect.
Shandy Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 If you're the one who broke up with her, the ball is in your court. If you want her back you will have to do more than send her an email. Of course the downside is that, if you go all out trying to get her back and she rejects you, you'll be back to break up day #1 again.
CalamitousJane Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 The big bunch of anonymous daisies sounds wonderful. Like PinkRibbon says, it's a lot more real than a text. There is a chance though, that she will still be too hurt to respond. Could you handle that?
Author jdeedee Posted January 13, 2008 Author Posted January 13, 2008 The big bunch of anonymous daisies sounds wonderful. Like PinkRibbon says, it's a lot more real than a text. There is a chance though, that she will still be too hurt to respond. Could you handle that? I have a strong feeling that she will still be too hurt to respond, or too removed from me emotionally (which is what I think she has done to heal). I am going to talk to my therapist and mother about the subject and see what they think. I was thinking of this bouqet: http://ww21.1800flowers.com/product.do?baseCode=16441&cm_cid=o Could I handle her not replying? I very much expect her to not reply. I couldn't handle the idea of her being angry or disgusted by me buying her flowers. I also will probably be torn up inside even worse than I am now if she doesn't reply, but I do this to myself. This is one of my habits -- doing, buying, giving things for people after the relationship is over. ...and Ronni -- I know you're right.
CalamitousJane Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 That is a very sweet bouquet. Would she know for sure it was from you? If you give her that you can KNOW she will be touched. Maybe she can't tell you right now, or ever. But maybe it will help you move on with your life knowing you let her know how much you cared.
sedgwick Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 I think that if you have to ask if it's a bad idea, it's a bad idea. You have to give her a chance to miss you!
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 Next Sunday is her birthday I can't help but want to text her, buy flowers (even anonymously) just do something. I know it isn't the right thing to do, she isn't asking for anything and surely doesn't want to hear from me but it hurts. I miss her and knowing she will be spending a birthday without me. Knowing I will be spending her birthday without her... Her birthday is coming up? And your point is? It should be just another day to you. What does it matter, You need to understand that she isnt your girlfriend anymore!!! If you contact her she' could bring up stalking on your ass! LET GO!!!!
vivrantflo Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 It should be just another day to you. What does it matter, You need to understand that she isnt your girlfriend anymore!!! Listen to this man.. he speaks the truth.. The flowers would be amazing if she was your woman.. but she's not. Just let the day pass man.. it's just another day...
Nomad1 Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 I understand what you are feeling because you want things to get back to what they used to be. They won't. Sending her gifts shows that you have expectations. Your expectations are unlikely to be met by her. You will feel rejected and this will slow your moving on process. Let her go man. She will respect you more than if you send her anything. The person that deserves a gift right now is YOU. Do something special for yourself. Good luck
Author jdeedee Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 You're all right, it's just so hard to let go for me. I think I said it here once before: Everything I let go of has claw marks in it.
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