Centar13 Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 (edited) Hello everyone I’m here again asking for input, judgment or whatever your opinions may be. Yes I have written before should you pull my threads from months ago you can see the beginning stages of divorce to now my single life in dating DATING A NEW MAN My problem today is.. after my ex and I split-up I met someone else .. this man has every quality I look for in a man. We have so many common interests between our professional lives, childhood and personality. It was exciting and I felt WOW! Where has he been and why did it take so long for this man to come in my life! So I have been seeing this man since October and I completely fell for him. Or my infatuation got the best of me! We didn’t see each other a lot since we both have kids but we talked on a daily basis whether it was by phone, email or texting. The more I talked with him the more emotions I felt and expressed to him. But I knew he didn’t feel the same as I did in fact he told me he likes me, likes going with me, but not in love me. He said I just got out of a marriage and I need to chill with my emotions and figure out what I want. FEELING INSECURE There is a lot more to tell but basically I was involved with an EUM (emotional unavailable man) and I wanted to give some of the events… when I started seeing him in October I mentioned to him that I have seats for our local professional football team and if we are still into each other in Dececember would you he like to go to NFL games. He said yes and had one game he really wanted to go. I said OK. So we go to first game in December and got into a fight – which I don’t remember exactly what happen alcohol had factor in our debacle. So we make up next day but I’m feeling that I am in a one sided relationship and told myself I’m going to wait to see if he recognizes my birthday and after a xmas party I had to go to before I end this relationship. My birthday came and nothing! The party came and another football came – and not the football game he really wanted to go to. That game wasn’t until the end of December. So now it’s the week of the game he really wanted to go to – I emailed and asked if he wanted to come up for dinner sometime during the week – I joked and said I would even get a cake since it was both our birthdays. He never responded and I was telling myself end it and he is not getting those tickets. And sure the Thursday before the game he asks me about the game if all the tickets were available. I told him… sorry I haven’t heard from you I didn’t think you wanted to go with me – Sorry I gave the tickets away! He was so upset! Yeah I know it was spiteful move but I felt my dignity was gone and I needed to regain my dignity and not feel like I was getting used! THE BLOW TO MY DIGINITY So after discussing with him why I gave away and expressing to him I felt I was being used by him just for the tickets – and I was sorry he felt disappointed. I asked if he could get over it and if we could just get pass this. The next day – now Christmas Eve – we talk and I came out and asked… “so are you dumping me” his response was we would have to be dating or something like we not even dating! That was such a blow to me! After that I cut all communication to him – no email, text or calls. KARMA Now after I went on a date with someone else… and it was like watching me in a mirror.. This man sat across from me expressing too much emotions, wanting too much from me, I was feeling pressured and was until then I realized WOW! That’s what I did – I gave that other guy emotional overload.. so that night I came home and emailed and basically said… I stood in his shoes and had someone like me giving emotional overload! And left my email saying “I said my peace.. take care” which also means I was done with him. WHATS HIS MOTIVE? Next comes .. I’m moving out of my office and sent out an email blast to my all my contacts – which the EUM guy was part of the email blast – stating that I was looking for office space. To my surprise he was the first to respond saying he had space available – I didn’t take him seriously. A few days later after the email blast I saw him… and here it is….. We were talking about office space (we are both self employed in the same profession)– he came out and said… “we should buy an office space together” – I DON’T UNDERSTAND – IF HE COULDN’T COMMIT TO A DATE WHY WOULD HE WANT TO COMMIT TO A MORTGAGE WITH ME????? WHAT IS HIS MOTIVE??? DOES HE WANT ME IN HIS LIFE? So anybody with input, judgment calls, or opinions… I appreciate it Edited January 12, 2008 by Centar13 fonts
Noob41 Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 How long have you been divorced? You seem like you're looking for some quick external validation, when perhaps you should be finding it from within. Conversely, he has directly indicated to you he doesn't have those types of feelings you have. BTDT! I've found that at some point you just have to find who you want, and enjoy the search -- not chase after those you perceive you can't have. At times it feels like, "Isn't there a needle in this haystack ANYWHERE?" and at others, it's like a cornucopia of "dating bounty." If this were me, I would kindly thank the person for the business offer, thank my lucky stars for dodging a potential nutbag bullet and say, "Have a nice life." At best, it seems you two are incompatible. It could also be that one, or both of you are not quite ready to be dating. BTW, this is my first post here, and as my name indicates, a bit of a noob, so if the critics would be so kind, be gentle with me. Hope this helps!
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