american-woman Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 http://www.network54.com/Realm/HealingHeart/Josephletter.html
herenow Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 This is a great letter. When my H and I began MC, this was exactly how I felt. I explained it with the same words about the puzzle and the fact that he had all the pieces. He did understand and he did answer all my questions. It was a painful time for both of us, but it was necessary for the truth to be told for us to get past the pain and begin to rebuild a stronger marriage. I can tell you for sure that had he not understood how important it was for me to have all the pieces, we would certainly be divorced by now. That was almost two years ago. We haven't been to MC in a while, but when we were going, it was every week. No matter how busy were were, we made it to that MC meeting no matter what. When the time came that we felt we were ready to move on and put the affair behind us, we started to rebuild our marriage. We both agreed that we didn't want the marriage we had before, and as much as it hurt, we both acknowledged our part in the problems in our marriage and we both, together and individually, did what we needed to do to fix ourselves and our marriage. My H takes 100% responsibility for the affair, but it took a commitment from both of us to be able to make our marriage work. I have always believed that unless both partners are willing to look at their own roles in the marriage, and face the real problems in the relationship, there can't be a true reconciliation. That's not to say that the BS should take any responsibility for the affair. That blame goes directly to the cheating spouse. IMO
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