kirikat Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I am sort of an old timer here, and had been sort of moving on. Then came a brief reconcilliation, along with the proposition we be FWB (I declined...) He said something about love being opposite of freedom. Then came Christmas, and he chatted me up on IM - with the idea that buying Christmas presents was the opposite of freedom. I wished him good luck in his quest for freedom, and I disappeared him from my contact lists. On new years, there was another sweet offline message - I ignored it. Then, the day before yesterday another. And then last night, he Im'd me again with another message... I said hello, and he said - "Have you forgotten about me?" and then asking me about my romantic life (I told him my vibrator is broken. I just didnt want to give him any information...) He told me he doesnt love me... he is only interested in a casual relationship with me... he knows this break up left my blood on the floor.... So - why is he staying in contact with me? Why the sweet messages? It hurts. Yes, he is now blocked.... but can anyone tell me why he is behaving this way? Guys... any insight here? Am I being played, or is he still Mr. Ambivalent Man? Why is he mai
watchconcierge Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I am sort of an old timer here, and had been sort of moving on. Then came a brief reconcilliation, along with the proposition we be FWB (I declined...) He said something about love being opposite of freedom. Then came Christmas, and he chatted me up on IM - with the idea that buying Christmas presents was the opposite of freedom. I wished him good luck in his quest for freedom, and I disappeared him from my contact lists. On new years, there was another sweet offline message - I ignored it. Then, the day before yesterday another. And then last night, he Im'd me again with another message... I said hello, and he said - "Have you forgotten about me?" and then asking me about my romantic life (I told him my vibrator is broken. I just didnt want to give him any information...) He told me he doesnt love me... he is only interested in a casual relationship with me... he knows this break up left my blood on the floor.... So - why is he staying in contact with me? Why the sweet messages? It hurts. Yes, he is now blocked.... but can anyone tell me why he is behaving this way? Guys... any insight here? Am I being played, or is he still Mr. Ambivalent Man? Why is he mai Well... When I have sent texts, ims, emails, etc. that have been similar to what your guy left you, I wanted to make things work. BUT I was not willing to get my hopes up too much, so if her response wasn't perfect, I'd pull back... Personally, I would never send sweet messages just to play mind games or string somebody along... what a waste of time... Can't speak for your guy, though...
Ronni_W Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 ...the proposition we be FWB (I declined...) He said something about love being opposite of freedom. And then last night, ... (I told him my vibrator is broken.) He told me ... he is only interested in a casual relationship with me. Could it be that he's still trying to win you over to the idea of that FWB relationship he suggested earlier on? He may also misconstrue your willingness to even discuss your romantic life (nevermind to the point of including status of your vibrator) as a hopeful sign, and still try to "court" you for the FWB.
Author kirikat Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 I dont think he's trying to win be back to romance.... My terms are simple.. we are in a relationship, or we are not. He doesnt want a relationship with me, he wants to have sex with me once or twice a week. So I expect that he is still trying to negotiate that.... but... I simply cannot do it. I could if I didnt love him, I suppose. Its not a moral issue for me... Maybe he really doesnt get it that I really was in love with him?
s_n_d Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I think hes trying to push the idea of FWB. I think that eventually he will bring it up again..
Author kirikat Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 Which brings me back to my original query.... Why would a guy do this? He's good looking, he has cash - it seems pretty darn easy to get laid if that is what you are looking for.
s_n_d Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Well it could be possible that you were the only one he was THAT comfortable with...sexually...
madgun68 Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 He's pretty much said exactly what he wants.. no strings attached sex. Nothing more. What strikes me here is his use of the word freedom. He most definitely doesn't want to commit. He wants to come and go as he pleases, have the ability to see other people and be able to come back to you to satisfy his sexual urges. He's acting sweet as a ploy.. Hoping you'll give in. And yes, he's playing with your emotions. My advice? Unless you're 100% okay for settling for nothing but sex with this guy, tell him to hike his freedom-loving butt up the road.. Don't settle for less than you want with the hope that things will change later.
Ronni_W Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 ..., tell him to hike his freedom-loving butt up the road.. Don't settle for less than you want with the hope that things will change later. And do not entertain conversations about your vibrator! (or any other aspect of your sex life.)
PinkRibbon Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 And you mentioned your vibrator...WHY? If that isn't opening a door that he drove right through then I don't know...???
sumdude Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Yeah sounds like an attempt at booty calls. Yikes! The vibrator thing.... at one point my ex wife said "I don't need you or any man, just a lot of batteries!" ugh..
Author kirikat Posted January 13, 2008 Author Posted January 13, 2008 well, I didnt quite know how to respond to "how is your sex life" I could have said "I've met someone" - I suppose. But the fact is, I have.... but I miss him so much that sex is nothing but sad right now, so Im not having any.... which sound totally pathetic. I don't want to lie, and I cannot be truthful, and I dont want to be a booty call.... I just want him to take his freedom loving ass down the road to the next woman who will dump him for his unwillingness to be a man.
Ronni_W Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 well, I didnt quite know how to respond to "how is your sex life" "That is NONE of your business. Please don't disrespect and degrade me by ever asking me anything related to that again!!!" Or words and tone to that effect. It is the complete truth and it holds zero potential to be misinterpreted.
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