Always_Sawee Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 hi everyone, im new here, does nc really work? i broke my nc with my ex. i texted her and asked what is she doing? . .i really miss her . . pls guys i need help. . thank you.
kirikat Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 No contact doesnt need to be forever... it just needs to be long enough for you to get your head together so you can rationally assess what you want, what you need without your ex messing up your thoughts. If it helps, think about it as a pause. Take it one day at a time... just like any other addiction. Good luck!
watchconcierge Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 No contact doesnt need to be forever... it just needs to be long enough for you to get your head together so you can rationally assess what you want, what you need without your ex messing up your thoughts. If it helps, think about it as a pause. Take it one day at a time... just like any other addiction. Good luck! It helps. IMHO if you start the NC by not returning a phone call or text, then you feel like you're in more of a powerful position. You feel like they're probably eagerly awaiting your response... Feels better to me than trying to call somebody several times, getting no response, and then choosing to give up on trying... Which is the position in which my ex finds herself right now. NC gets easier and easier. A word of caution... I did 6 days of NC recently and then gave in to her need to talk to me... and then we fought worse than ever for 3 days before I started the NC again. What I'm trying to say is that I believe that emotion can build up quite a bit during a relatively short NC. Hope this helps.
brothermartin Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 It depends on the end result your looking for. If you want to take some time to yourselves to clear up some personal matters that have been messing up your relationship, then NC may work for you. If you're looking for her to see what she did wrong to mess up the relationship or vice versa in order to continue the relationship, it may not.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 It depends on what your looking for in the end - like brothermartin else mentioned. To get over the ex then yes nc does help - or at least its suposed to help.
shockandawed Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 N/C is the single best action I took in getting over my ex-fiance. I was stubborn and it took awhile for me to finally grasp it, but once I did, the healing truly began. A year later, I am so glad I finally got it beat into my head. The longer you go, the greater the sense of accomplishment you feel. It will get easier.
s_n_d Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 hi everyone, im new here, does nc really work? i broke my nc with my ex. i texted her and asked what is she doing? . .i really miss her . . pls guys i need help. . thank you. Im exactly like you.. The longest Ive been able to maintain NC is three days. It sucks. Nc is really hard especially when your so close to your gf/bf and then you split up. Your so used to talking to him or her and seeing him or her every single day. Like everyone else who replied on here said, It depends on the situation. Ive been doing the NC thing for 3 days now. So far, no urges to call or text msg him or anything. Whats different this time is that I finally understand that i HAVE to do this..
82knightrider Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Its the way to go.But you must improve yourself in every way possible
PinkRibbon Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 (edited) NC works when are looking to put your ex out of your mind. When you are trying to move forward with your life. When you are trying to save some dignity in your life by not calling the person who dumped you and crying like a baby to them. NC works when the person will not take you back, refused to take you back and refuses to have anything to do with you. All NC does is seperate you and further drive the wedge of no being together home. I am day 36 of NC and almost 4 months of not seeing him. All NC has done for me and made me realize he doesn't give a sh** about me. I am disposable and our marriage vows are not worth the paper to wipe my butt. Edited January 12, 2008 by PinkRibbon
sumdude Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 In a word ... yes. Usually when someone says it's over they mean it. Every time you contact them you go back and start the healing process again. I know every time I had contact with my ex wife it sent me backwards. Now it's been 5 weeks. Through the holidays and new years. I plan on just leaving her alone period. There's really nothing left to say... and being freinds usually is a bad idea. After all in a lot of breakups a trust is broken and a freind wouldn't do that right?
forgotten01 Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 In my honest opinion, If you want to just get over it and move on NC is the way. Wouldn't you rather not know anything about her and her life without you? I certainly would rather not know because chances are she is doing things that would only further hurt you. The less you know the better. Look at it this way, she knows your number and when and if ever, she wants to talk to you..she'll call. Don't give her the upper hand on you out of desperation that we all feel. Be strong. God bless.
Author Always_Sawee Posted January 13, 2008 Author Posted January 13, 2008 thanks for the support guyz. . i saw her while im waiting for my friend to play basketball. i said hello and she said hello in return. thats it. but after that i really felt sad . . haist . well. . thank you guyz. . .
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