Buschbabe21 Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 (edited) Hi, I am a sophomore in college in DC and have been dating a guy for two years now. He is quite a bit older than me but recently went back to school to get his MBA in Michigan. We have known each other for 10 years (we both used to live in Chicago) but since we started dating two years ago, have had a long distance relationship. Fortunately, he is financially able to come to DC every 6-8 weeks to see me but my parents do not approve of me going to see him and staying at his place for obvious reasons. We have managed all of this time to have a successful relationship and are very much in love but as time goes on, it's getting more and more difficult to cope with the circumstances of a LDR because obviously, the more time we spend together, the more we want to see each other. We email, IM and talk daily which is always wonderful but obviously not the same as getting to spend time with each other. In two and a half years, I will be free to do as I wish and will be able to live where I want. Being so young, I am impatient (as most 20 year olds are) and believe that life is too short to spend two more years in this situation. I would LOVE some advice on how to best deal with my LDR and hear how others have coped. He is worth the wait, it's just a matter of making things easier. Edited January 13, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed personal email address
TMichaels Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 If you don't mind answering... How much older is "a quite a bit older?" Have the two of you talked about where you see/would like to see your relationship going? How long will he be working on his MBA? Best, TMichaels
compassion42 Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I agree with the above poster-you should talk to your bf and figure out together where you see your relationship going. Also, if he is financially able, perhaps you could recommend that he come to see you more frequently?
dancinggal Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 Hey there, I was 20 when we started our long distance, and it'll have been about a year and half when he comes down here to live with me, but we only saw each other once last year, which was very, very tough for me. He is 26, so a lot better at dealing with the situation. I guess you have to evaluate where your relationship is going, and have dates for when you will be together indefiantely (my lifeline!) Also, its important to recognise you still get to live your life even if you can't be with that person, which is something I admittedly struggle with a lot (I am impatient too). I see all my friends with guys or dating, and I just find it SO frustrating, but I sticked with it, and now its only 10 weeks till I see him again! The other thing I would recommend if finding a way to be romantic/sexual in your LDR. Its something we never achieved, mostly because there is a 14 hour time difference and we could never really make the time to do it, but its a way to have your relationship still be fun and exciting. For me, the lack of this has really affected how lonely I feel sometimes, so I think its really important to discuss each other's needs in regards to these things and make sure you let him know you EXPECT him to make some time to be like this with you. Its just a nice thing to look forward to when you have to go to bed alone every single night. Last point, understand yourself and your own needs. Are you doing this for him or for you? Can you really do this? (There is no shame in understanding that you are not meant to be in a LDR). Ask yourself some real questions about how you are going to feel about it. That way, you'll be doing it for the right reasons and will feel less resentful to others in their relationships. Good luck!
HisLove Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Maybe if you think you are able to handle an adult relationship, you should be able to tell your parents that you have a loving relationship with a wonderful man and they can deal with it. What's the worst that can happen?
littlekitty Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 if you have doubts maybe you´re answer is there... She hasn't mentioned any doubts? Just that she is impatient? I think dancinggirl gave some good advice to you there. Best thing is to discuss with him where you see this relationship going and what you can do to make it easier on both of you? Could one or the other of you not transfer schools?
Recommended Posts