Missing&Lost Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 (edited) Ok well here’s the story. My ex-girlfriend and I were together for just shy of 3 years. Like any relationship we had our highs and lows, we talked about getting married, looked for a house, we’d basically been planning a future together after only 8 months together. But money slowed that process down. About 2 ½ years into our relationship we had a very rocky couple of months. We both started to distance ourselves emotionally, in part to the fact we had only spent 8 days in total apart and our verbal communication nearly halted. We had settled into a daily grind that led nowhere. And that led to us fighting and arguing more and more over the smallest thing. Shortly after the new year we found out she was pregnant. I can’t tell you how happy and excited I was on hearing this. Despite all our arguing, I loved this girl - I still love this girl, and we were going to have a child. The news completely stopped all our bickering and everything between us just fell into space. Sadly 3 month later she miscarried. It all happened quickly afterward. Within 3 weeks she told me it was over, telling me she needed her own space, that she needed to live life on her own for awhile. But the kicker, she told me she no longer loved me the way she used to. All this was devastating to me. I tried my best to talk to her, but only made a fool out of myself, begging crying, calling, drunk calling, texting all that. Through all this we had agreed that the two of us would still go to an upcoming concert in the summer together. It started out ok, but well in short, I made an ass out of myself on the way home. I let it all out, I begged and pleaded with her wanting to know why she wanted to end it, and that I still loved her, ect. All she said was that her feelings just weren’t the same, and that she needed to be single for awhile. Well I went to NC, I think it only lasted a couple weeks. I had heard through friends that she had hooked up with a guy shortly after we split and had recently moved in with him. Angry, jealous, blah, blah, While drinking my sorrows away with friends I called her drunk again. (I know batting a thousand here) The conversation ended with her telling me to leave her alone and never talk to her again or else. After that I kept my distance. I fell into some deep depression drank way too much, and buried my nose in my work. That lasted for about 8 months but I pulled my self together sobered up turned myself around. Fast forward 2 years now. After cleaning my act up 2 job promotions, and in the beginnings of starting my own company, I’m still stuck on this one. I dated plenty of girls since her, but day after day, no matter what I do no matter what it is my thoughts are always drawn back to her. I’ve wanted to so bad to contact her and try and start over, but just don’t know how. Sorry for going on so long but I’m just as hung up on my her as the day I first saw her, I would love to contact her, and try for a second chance, but I’m just not sure if I should, or what’s the best approach if anyone has any words of advice I’m all ears. THANKS Edited January 12, 2008 by Missing&Lost spelling
bozwa Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I'm not going to say "get over it" because we all know how hard that can be, but, hon, she's moved on. It's time you take steps to do the same...to the best of your ability anyway. I know you want what you once had but with all that has happened and with all the time that has passed, that will never happen. It would never be as it once was. If you call her proposing this, you are asking to be hurt..all over again.
s_n_d Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I hate saying this since im a firm believer in second chances and stuff. But its been so long and she clearly has moved on, dude. You need to TRY to move on.. And If its meant to be, you will find your way back to eachother..SOMEDAY..
Author Missing&Lost Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 I don't know. I'm a big believer in 'its never too late' maybe its the hopeless romantic in me. I have also always felt that anything's possible, you just have to make it happen cause nobody else will. I can deal with the pain and rejection, I did once before, but in all honesty I don't want it for her.
eknchick Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I see that you've managed to sort out your life, congratulations! By the sounds of it though, so has she. There is a difference between being romantic and being realistic. If I were you I would leave it or, but then again I'm not you. Just beware that putting someone on a pedastool like you've done post-break up is risky.
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