Tomcat33 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 TC, damn you. Your argument is unimpeachable. :laugh: you just made me laugh out loud Bootie (term of endearment not to be confused with Booty) , can I call you that? No but seriously it is very annoying to tell someone in love "there are so many other single people out there" SO WHAT? and my dryer has three settings...ok...? point? I love THIS person the rest of the world can drop dead... Now if they were contemplating dating again, ok fine bring out all the matchmakers and let's make the magic happen...but c'mon. Love is a very powerful thing and it is so often overlooked here, people would easily make things cut and dry and close doors on things if it weren't. But it's not like that at all you can't just shut the door on your heart no matter how wrong a person is for you feel what you feel.
reboot Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 :laugh: you just made me laugh out loud Bootie (term of endearment not to be confused with Booty) , can I call you that?Uh sure. Whatever turns you on. And yeah, you made me stop and think. I do agree with the advice, "go find a single person", but that's really easy to say to someone. Pretty similar to when I'm told to go find someone that won't cheat on me... *sigh*
Tomcat33 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Uh sure. Whatever turns you on. And yeah, you made me stop and think. I do agree with the advice, "go find a single person", but that's really easy to say to someone. Pretty similar to when I'm told to go find someone that won't cheat on me... *sigh* Yes it is totally the same, and I did have the same thing in mind when I hear it said to a BS and it works both ways, NO one wants to hear "there are plenty other peopeple out ther for you" when they feel in love with one person. No one! It's really annoying. But when it is a BS the advice is "work very hard at forgiving and making sure you keep your love, you don't want to lose your love, fight for your love" when it's the OW "bahhhh just find another guy" as if our feelings were any less real. What the OP feels is VERY strong it is an impossible love that is not unrequited it is very much reciporcated it just can't be. I thought I had seen and felt it all but until you feel that you have no idea just how powerful love can be. Well I am sure as a BS you feel the same.
whichwayisup Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Please don't take this the wrong way WWIU but the most annoying thing you can say to someone who is already in love with someone, available or not, is "don't worry someone else will come your way" They don't WANT anyone else, they are head over heels in love with someone already what the heck do they care about anyone else? I know you mean well when you say that or when people say that but honestly people should can it with the "find yourself a single guy" routine because no one wants to hear that as much as it makes sense in theory the last thing on a person's mind is meeting someone new, while in love in an A. It's like telling a person forget your H you'll meet someone else, why would you? you love your H and want to be with him, who gives a darn about anyone else? This may sound angry but it isn't at all I am just remembering how it used to really bug me when friends would say that to me, because it means they were not listening to me at ALL, they just wanted to say whatever to make it right, I knew I could have any other guy I wanted, they knew it too but that's not what I wanted at the time and there is nothing anyone can say to make it right you feel what you feel no matter how crazy it seems looking from the outside in. I see your point, though I'm not telling her, NOW go and find that single guy, if you read what I said, One day the right (single and available) man will walk into your life when you're least expecting it. I also wish (and don't take this the wrong way) you'd not focus so much on what you think is negative advice, maybe if you feel like commenting on how I, or anyone else gives advice, once in a while point out the good as well. She seemed pretty OK with what I said to her on the first page of her thread.
Tomcat33 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I know I got that, now, later, doesn't matter she can't even wrap her head around it because she feels in love with this man right now.... I honestly did not read the whole thread read the first post and then this last page and that stood out for me and it was directed at all people who inisist on saying that, I personally find it annoying...it just so happened I quoted you WWIU. But maybe the OP finds it helpful so I am sorry if I commented out of line. I find the remark condescending, like it does not take into account what the person is feeling/saying. JMO Again it boils down to pointing out the obvious for the sake of preaching, she knows it is wrong she knows she could "do better" her heart is saying otherwise, beating the dead horse ain't gonna make her heart shift gears.
Gwyneth Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 I cry too sometimes but not because of him; it's because I am just so angry with myself for getting myself into such an icky situation. So when you are crying, think hard if it's about him, or if it's because you are just angry with yourself. It took me a while to realize I have no one to blame for my situation other than myself. He didn't hold a gun to my head and Demand an affair with him. That was My choice. Crying about it is also My choice--not his.
Recommended Posts