MysticStar Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I wasn't sure where the best place to post this, but I thought if this is of any help it would be better to see before the breakup. I was at the doctor's today sitting in the waiting room waiting for my turn to see the doctor. There wasn't much in the way of reading materials, so I picked up a Parenting magazine and started reading an article about dealing with the issues that arise with the kids when there's a divorce. One line in the article caught my attention...."Communication and commitment to the children's welfare will go a long way in solving these issues." the gist of the article was how a divorced couple can get along for the sake of the children. It also went on to say that after a divorce to couple starts moving in different directions which makes raising and caring for the kids that much more difficult. It gave me the impression that it's easier on the parents and better for the kids if they can keep the family intact. They advised that ...."Communication and commitment to the children's welfare will go a long way in solving these issues." Why not try that before getting divorced? Let's face it, once you have a child with someone, like it or not you're stuck with that person for life. You have a child between the two of you, and that child will bind you together until death. Seems to me that no matter what issues you're facing in your marriage, it's better to work through them rather than divorce. (That being said, I realize that in cases of habitual cheating and abuse, alcohol or drug abuse there isn't much of a choice.) Comments?
michaelk Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Clearly if a couple is willing to work on communication and maintaining a good relationship of some sort with the kids in mind, it would be smarter to do that before calling it quits. It couldn't hurt, and it just might improve things between the H and W enough that divorce wouldn't be necessary. I can tell you from first hand experience that we hadn't made the effort, my wife and I probably would have divorced. And we got a much improved relationship as the reward for making that effort. Well worth it, I say!
HisLove Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Well some things you can't fix, no matter how much you want it to be otherwise. As Dr Phil says...it's better to be from a broken home than to live in one. I have successfully dealt with two ex-husbands and our children. As much as I may regret or despise what happened between us in our relationship, I have NEVER let that influence the relationship my children have with their father. I am the best exwife you could ever hope for...I don't have any contact unless vital for the children, I don't call or want things, I am very flexible and cooperative. Need arrangements to be changed? I can't ever remember when it's been a problem either way to change things around to accommodate everyday life. My eldest is now 18 years old so I've been doing this for a while. One of the things I have wanted to instill in my children is living true to themselves. To be confident in knowing what they want, and their ability to rely on themselves to achieve it. If they absolutely feel that a relationship is not going to work, to have the confidence and belief in themselves to extricate themselves if necessary.
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