Blake_in_texas Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Ok, so I'm talking to this girl right. She is gorgeous, we have a lot of chemistry, I can tell the attraction is mutual. We talked about her dating history the other day. Keep in mind I don't really date that much, its just been awhile since i found someone i like. She said she doesn't want to "just jump into a relationship". I feel the same way. We've been talking for about 2 weeks and we had our first kiss a few days ago. So here's my question. I like the girl alot and want to ask her to go out with me. How do you define "just jumping into a relationship" and how do you think she will take me asking her out after 2 weeks?
oppath Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 When I ask her out, it means I'm asking her on a date. For you, it sounds like it means asking her to date exclusively, which means relationship. Take her on some dates; hold of on the exclusivity.
MixedBreed86 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I agree, asking her out is askin to get into a relationship with you. And thats what you dont want to do. For instance with the girl im talkin to now, well tryin to, she likes me, i like her, and she wants to see how it goes. No dating right now, ya know, respect them and it'll help out a lot.
Lucasarts Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 um well what do you guys do together that you wouldnt consider dating? if that means you guys just go and hang out at each others places well... which is i guess called "hanging out" then i guess you guys can keep doing that. If you guys only hang out when with some friends, then i guess keep doing that. But if you've been going to places together and seeing things together...then thats sorta called dating (especially if you've kissed now). The fact of the matter is...it doesnt hurt to go on dates, it doesnt mean your in a relationship. You'll know when you're in a relationship and when you're jumping into things too fast. Heck, how many times have you guys seen each other during this 2 week span that spurred this kiss to happen? (musta been often, cause if not, i'd say your jumping into things faster than most). I dont see the problem of you asking her to go out somewhere...if your attraction is mutual and you have good chemistry with each other, then why is asking her out on a date a problem? Until you guys establish that your in a relationship with each other, its all fun and games. Enjoy yourself.
fishtaco Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I think the word "dating" is too overloaded. So you alway have to specify what you mean exactly. Anyway, I pretty much agree with things everyone said. Keep asking her out on dates. Don't go for exclusivity because she's not ready. But don't go on friend dates either, because once you slip into her friend bucket it's all over. Oh and expect her to be going on dates with other guys as well. You don't have exclusivity. In fact, you should go on dates with other women yourself. Keep them separate though. And don't ask don't tell.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 If you two have already kissed then i dont think you asking her out on a date will be a big deal. As far as her saying shes not ready to jump into a relationship, she just stating that she wants to get to know you a little better. Go out on your first date and see how things go
tanbark813 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 how do you think she will take me asking her out after 2 weeks? "Well it's about goddamn time."
Realty4You Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Sounds like it's time to me. Don't ask her out in a formal matter, just in passing....so it doesn't freek her out. If you really like her then go for it. Most females want a relationship and she may have said that as she would think you would want to hear that....otherwise anythign else would scare you off. Take it slow, show interst but not too much. Don't play games is the best rule....just be "YOU". Enjoy!
Author Blake_in_texas Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 Thanks for the advice. As far as more info on things, I just turned 21 and she is 20. As far as being exclusive, I don't mean will you move in with me, say you love me, and pretend like we've been together a year. I just mean I like you for who you are, I wanna be together, and if in a couple months (or weeks) it doesn't work out, so be it. Being 21 I don't see myself as solely looking for a LIFE partner. Maybe it would be different if I was in my mid 30's. I have friends who will meet a girl, have sex the next night, and be dating by the third. I think I'm ask her to be in a relationship, letting her know that if it gets serious, it gets serious but given my age I don't see it as rushing into things. Let me know if you think I'm wrong here.
Author Blake_in_texas Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 Most females want a relationship and she may have said that as she would think you would want to hear that....otherwise anythign else would scare you off. Take it slow, show interst but not too much. Don't play games is the best rule....just be "YOU". Enjoy! I completely agree because i have had girls tell me that before and it usually means one of two things. 1) I am really just not into you enough to be exclusive or 2) I like you and would go out with you but lets not get too serious right off the bat. I think its the second in this situation
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