TypicalArtist Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I'm an 18 year old female and I'm dating a 34 year old man who was previously married and has a 5 and a 6 year old. We've been dating for 5 and a half months now and we've known each other for year. We're very serious about our relationship and are absolutely in love. He's pretty religious and I've been going to his church with one of my best friends, who's also a member, and noone really knows that we're dating yet. I'm afraid of how his friends and family would react to this. I want someones point of view that's about his age. How would you react, feel, say if you found out one of your friends was in a serious relationship with a girl half his age?
Green Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 First off are you having sex with him? I would only be dating some one your age if it was for the sex. But maybe your mature for your age, or maybe he's not mature. Maybe you guys are just good. The jiste of it is generaly this is a bad idea, but if you really think it works for you then just do it.
Lucasarts Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 wow he takes you to church huh? interesting, considering the circumstances of age and your relationship but hey if its true love, then it has no bounds (from family, religion, or from friends) but you're still very young, and being in love at your age is a dangerous thing. How did you two meet btw? very strange for a 34 year old guy to be goin out with a high schooler, but life is never a simple thing to figure out. If i found out a friend of mine was in a relationship with someone around the mid-30's i'd just be shocked... and wonder how it came to be. I also wouldnt believe the relationship wouldnt last because of the maturity of lvls of both, as well as the differing expectations of what both people will have of each other and themselves to each other. Its an uphill battle, but if you guys are willing to fight it, good luck and i hope the bond between you 2 is strong enough for it to work.
fral945 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 First off are you having sex with him? I would only be dating some one your age if it was for the sex. Agreed. I'm a 27 yr. old male and I know I have very little in common with most 18 yr. old girls today. If I ever had any sort of relationship with one, it would be purely for sex. You may be an exception, but as a general rule I don't think it usually would be something that will last long-term. He does take you to church, so maybe there's something there, but as an outsider I'd be pretty skeptical.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I'm an 18 year old female and I'm dating a 34 year old man who was previously married and has a 5 and a 6 year old. We've been dating for 5 and a half months now and we've known each other for year. We're very serious about our relationship and are absolutely in love. He's pretty religious and I've been going to his church with one of my best friends, who's also a member, and noone really knows that we're dating yet. I'm afraid of how his friends and family would react to this. I want someones point of view that's about his age. How would you react, feel, say if you found out one of your friends was in a serious relationship with a girl half his age? I'd say its best to wait until your much older yourself to get into a relationship with an older man (20/25+). I find it sick and wrong for a guy he's age interested in a 17 year old girl - illegal girl.
Krytie TV Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I think the fact that his friends and family don't know about you says everything. He probably wants it that way permanently.
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I find it sick and wrong for a guy he's age interested in a 17 year old girl - illegal girl. She's 18. Anyway, if you are mature enough to handle a relationship with an older guy, who has two children and are ready for what comes along with that, then take things slowly... At age 18, you have ALOT of growing to do, personally and professionally so you can be the woman you're meant to be. This guy has already had two children. Does he want more? Does he plan on marrying you someday? Is this something you've thought about? Or is the relationship not too serious... Ask him why you haven't been introduced to his family. Have you met his children? How long has he been divorced? And, are you SURE he is divorced, not separated?
Art_Critic Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 She's 18. I think she meant that she was 17 when they met.. The OP mentioned that they have known each other over a year. So.. He was cradle robbing at least in his mind anyhow... The guy obviously has some issues... No normal 34 year old guy is going to bang an 18 year old.... He is old enough to have fathered her...
compassion42 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I think your question is an interesting one. The fact that you are focussing on how HIS family or friends would feel about your relationship rather than thinking about your own? If you are in love, why don't you go to church together instead of with your friend that goes there? Is it common in his religion for older men to be with younger women?
Lizzie60 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 take it slow.. there is no rush. Don't invest too much emotionally yet.. I know it's hard to control but just give it a try. Never abandon any dreams you have for him (or any other men)... if you're planning on going to university...go... if he's trying to stop any of your goals.. run as fast as you can.. he's not for you. Don't ever ever change your goals for any man... My daughter was 18 when she had her very first bf.. he was twice her age... 36, no children, never been married.. he was filthy rich, big house, etc... he fell hard for her.. but when she said she wanted to go learn Spanish for 3 months in Central America.. he gave her an ultimatum.. it's me or CA... she chose to leave for 3 months.. Anyway that's a long story..but she ended it... because he wanted to control her. Just be careful... and never forget that YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON ON THIS PLANET. No one will take care of you as well as yourself... Know what you want in life.. and do not let anyone else distract you from your goals.. Good luck...
burning 4 revenge Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Reading stuff like this makes me want to get drunk
Saxis Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Reading stuff like this makes me want to get drunk First round is on me... Seriously, I can't think of any reason other than fun sex that would get this guy involved. You must be extremely mature for him to even consider that. Not saying it can't work, but do proceed with caution!
bluepoppy Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Typical Artist - I'm sure all these negative responses is not what you wanted to hear. But the negative reaction is what you are likely to encounter in the world around you too. People will find it hard to believe he has any depth to involvement beyond anything sexual, and friends/family will be protective - they won't want to see you hurt. Keeping a relationship secret for 5 1/2 months is too long - while it's secret it's an affair, not a relationship. Part of dating is not just finding out about the person, but the people they involve themselves with - as this helps you to understand and know them (and the other way round). .
Green Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 yeah the fact that you go to the same church with your friend and you've been dating him for 5 1/2 months and no one really knows your dating is a bad sign. even if you forget the fact that he met you a year ago when you were 17, and were you 17 when you guys started dating. Just a question, whats your relationship with your dad like? is he still togather with your mother, are you two close?
Saxis Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Just a question, whats your relationship with your dad like? is he still togather with your mother, are you two close? And does he own any guns?? I'm thinking he might be inclined to use them if he finds out a 34 yo man is preying on his little girl.... And what I mean by that: Why is it that you're worried about what his family will think and not your own??
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