Dynamo Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Yes, yet another one of Dynamo's childish dilemmas Anyways, my question this time around is this: What do you do if a girl keeps asking you every now and then who you like and/or who you are going to ask out, yet the person you can't stop thinking about is her? If it was that simple I'd tell her, but it gets more complicated.. She's in a relationship, with my best friend. I've known her quite a bit longer then my friend, and the feelings I've had for her since I met her simply aren't describable in words. That being said it pains me to see her taken, and out of all people by my friend, but thats the irony of life I guess eh? I have enough loyalty to my friend which I would not stoop so low as to betray him, yet I seriously cannot get this girl off my mind. That was the entire reason I registered on this site in the first place, and after awhile I thought I had finally moved on - I've tried meeting as many girls as humanly possible the past couple months: I've gone to every party and social function I could. Yet I can't stop thinking about her, GAH! Anyways.. Back to my initial question; what do I tell her when she asks me who I like? I don't want to lie to her, but I'm worried that if I flat out tell her it'll just create a big train wreck. I've been dodging the question lately by changing the subject, but if I do that anymore I think she'll start thinking I'm gay! Haha. I'm almost at the point where I don't care anymore, I just want to let her know. =/ Please tell me I'm not the only one who's felt this way before?
alterego1234 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 No, you're not the only one. It's a common theme in life and literature, pal. I have a few women in my life like that; I've had crushes on two in particular since 6th grade that just didn't work out for various reasons. But they're married now and I respect that and they're just good friends now. One of them I've somehow gotten over, which is very cool. The other one it is harder because, well, we've sort of had a Niles Crane / Daphne Moon type relationship (prior to Daphne finding out about it). I have to keep her more at a distance. One thing I might do in your shoes -- I'm not as brave or bold or cocky/confident as many guys are. Let's say this girl is smart, funny, dark haired, and wears glasses. Next time she asks who you like, say something like "I dunno, I like girls who are smart, funny, dark haired, with glasses." Hopefully she realizes that she matches your description, and you can see where it goes from there. I would add that the situation you're in stinks, but bottom line in my opinion is that unless she's engaged to your friend, she's technically fair game. As a practical matter, you could easily lose your friend over this. Tough gig.
Author Dynamo Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 No, you're not the only one. It's a common theme in life and literature, pal. I have a few women in my life like that; I've had crushes on two in particular since 6th grade that just didn't work out for various reasons. But they're married now and I respect that and they're just good friends now. One of them I've somehow gotten over, which is very cool. The other one it is harder because, well, we've sort of had a Niles Crane / Daphne Moon type relationship (prior to Daphne finding out about it). I have to keep her more at a distance. One thing I might do in your shoes -- I'm not as brave or bold or cocky/confident as many guys are. Let's say this girl is smart, funny, dark haired, and wears glasses. Next time she asks who you like, say something like "I dunno, I like girls who are smart, funny, dark haired, with glasses." Hopefully she realizes that she matches your description, and you can see where it goes from there. I would add that the situation you're in stinks, but bottom line in my opinion is that unless she's engaged to your friend, she's technically fair game. As a practical matter, you could easily lose your friend over this. Tough gig. Tell me about it - I hate it. You are right that she technically IS fair game since it's not like they have a real serious relationship or anything. They've only been going out for about 3 months. Honestly though, I have growing suspicions that he's just using her for sexual satisfaction. I know it probably just sounds like I'm saying that in spite, but I really think he is. He's a good friend, but he has had a LOT of problems like that in the past. I like your suggestion though.. I should certainly give that a shot some time. . Thanks for the reply
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