birdmadgirl Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Well, I think I've decided once and for all that despite the indication I received early on that Shy Guy was interested, he's not. I haven't heard from him since his return email Monday evening. Three days isn't an eternity when it comes to these things, I realize, but I also don't have the mental or emotional energy to play guessing games at this point in my life. So how do I go about giving him back his CD? Do I contact him to tell him I'm finished with it and risk giving him the impression that I'm trying to find ways to prolong the contact he obviously doesn't wish to have? Or do I keep it until he asks for it back and risk giving him the impression that I'm trying to steal his property?
MystifiedByMen Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Just keep it until he askes for it back. When he does, just say you totally forgot and sorry. Then forget about him and move on. I wouldn't contact him and maybe he'll never contact you just for a CD. But, life is too short to be waiting around for some dude. One the other hand, if you really like him, put some effort in and call him. Try and set up a date. This way you really know and you have no regrets. Like I said, life is way to short. Go for it and see where it goes. I say this because I have a friend that always expects the dude to do all the work when it comes to contacting her for a date. Maybe your dude really is shy and thinks you're not into him. Good luck!
Lee725 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Sorry, i have missed most of your story, but in reference to this thread, I would think that if someone was interested in you they would reply within 3 days. my thoughts: Post it back to him if possible, with a note. "Thanks for lending me your CD, hope all is well, feel free give me a call/txt/email sometime". Leave it open & light hearted. Leave it in his court. As hard as it will be to have no NC from him if you think he is not interested continuing contact with him may push him further away.
Author birdmadgirl Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 I'm pretty sure he knows I'm interested in getting together again, MystifiedByMen. In fact, I sent him an email telling him so. His response (along with links to a ton of background info) is somewhere in this thread. I think he may have been interested initially, but for whatever reason, he changed his mind after our coffee date. He has my email address, my phone number... he lives about fifty feet away from me, for cryin' out loud. He has plenty of ways to get in touch with me, and he's exercised none of them since Monday. Even if I hadn't said, "Let's get together again," this screams, "I'm not interested."
Author birdmadgirl Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 I think part of me hoped that he let me borrow the CD as a way to keep the door open for future contact. Maybe I'll just toss it onto his balcony on my way to work tomorrow.
MystifiedByMen Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Aww.. Sorry, I feel for you. I've experienced the disappearing act that guys pull and it sucks. Actually every single one of my girlfriends have too. I know you just want answers or some reply and it bothers the hell out of you. I've been through the same thing. Any guys out there that can explain why dudes just suddenly disappear/end contact? Us girls just want some closure on something that we thought might be there.
Author birdmadgirl Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 Good call, MystifiedByMen. I think a male's perspective on all this is precisely what I need at this point.
Author birdmadgirl Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 Aww.. Sorry, I feel for you. I've experienced the disappearing act that guys pull and it sucks. Actually every single one of my girlfriends have too. I know you just want answers or some reply and it bothers the hell out of you. I've been through the same thing. Any guys out there that can explain why dudes just suddenly disappear/end contact? Us girls just want some closure on something that we thought might be there. Specifically, why not just tell her you're not interested if that's the case? There are countless ways to communicate this without insulting her, even if your actual reasons for not being interested would do just that.
crosswordfiend Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 You can always offer to mail the CD back to him. That'll send a message.
Author birdmadgirl Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 You can always offer to mail the CD back to him. That'll send a message. Since we're neighbors, that WOULD send a very powerful message. I'll consider it!
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