Sand&Water Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I am confused. I have noticed, time after time, men do this very thing to women. If a man is friends with a woman, contently OK/alright in the friendship, and he seems to be relatively happy in his life; she is relatively doing fine in her life then why ask: How is your dating life? Are there men in your love life? Followed by: "I am happy for you". <--- This is stupid to say because, this being the first time, is the man really happy for her?????? What IS the point? I mean, he is just friends with her. This entails that he is pursuing other things in life, and merely sees her as just another female friend. A normal interaction between the 2 wouldn't lead to discussing her love life. So, why ASK? It is futile. Sand&Water
brothermartin Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Sometimes, when a man has a female friend, he sees her like a kid sister. He cares about what she's doing in her love life because he dosen't want to see her get hurt. It's a male protective thing.
Leoni Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 How is your dating life? Are there men in your love life? Men don't ask this, unless they're interested in you as more than a friend. It doesn't mean they want to get together, although they might. It's that you remain a viable option.
Lee725 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I mean, he is just friends with her. This entails that he is pursuing other things in life, and merely sees her as just another female friend. A normal interaction between the 2 wouldn't lead to discussing her love life. So, why ASK? It is futile. The two reasons that i can think of would be: 1) He is inquiring because perhaps he would like more than friendship and is looking to see if she is available. 2) He is a close friend, although a point of debate, it is possible for men and women to have close Platonic relationships. Much in the same manner a woman to woman friendship would include questions such as these, a male to female close friendships would also. Personally i would not be over analytical if a close male friend asked me this question, nor would i see it as futile because in that sense would it not make most of the conversations between friends futile? perhaps i have miss-interpreted your thread? - if so sorry.
brothermartin Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Men don't ask this, unless they're interested in you as more than a friend. It doesn't mean they want to get together, although they might. It's that you remain a viable option. Not necessarily true. I have female friends that I have seen dating some shady guys, and I ask them if they knew what they were doing. Not because I was interested in dating them, because they are my friends and I do that for my friends when I don't want to see them get heartbroken.
Leoni Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Not necessarily true. I have female friends that I have seen dating some shady guys, and I ask them if they knew what they were doing. Not because I was interested in dating them, because they are my friends and I do that for my friends when I don't want to see them get heartbroken. Then you're an unusual guy. Of what I've noticed from male friends, they don't want to talk about anything that involves drama, although if pushed, will provide brotherly advice. It's also the type of friendship you have with them. Some believe that male-female friendships should have some form of sexual tension. If so, it's not friendship.
MystifiedByMen Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I think the only reason a man would ask another woman, be it friends or he is openly interested in her, is if he is digging for info because he secretly likes her. It could possibly be the “big brother thing” but I doubt it.
Author Sand&Water Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 RE: The fact of the situation is I am not close friends with this man. I am ticked-off about his inquest into my love life because it is none of his business if I am attached at the hip to a man or simply single. I don't go asking him about his love life. I want only friendship; he has to STOP sending me all these mixed signals. Sand&Water
brothermartin Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Then you're an unusual guy. Of what I've noticed from male friends, they don't want to talk about anything that involves drama, although if pushed, will provide brotherly advice. It's also the type of friendship you have with them. Some believe that male-female friendships should have some form of sexual tension. If so, it's not friendship. Thank you. I've been told that by other people too.
bozwa Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Men don't ask this, unless they're interested in you as more than a friend. It doesn't mean they want to get together, although they might. It's that you remain a viable option. I highly disagree with this. My best and oldest friend is a man, and, before I met my bf, was always asking me this (he is happily married with kids). And now that I have my bf, he says he is happy for me (and I believe him), and is always asking for updates on my "happiness" to ensure that I am doing okay. We are like siblings, always have been, and we care deeply for eachother in that respect ONLY.
bozwa Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 RE: The fact of the situation is I am not close friends with this man. If you were close friends, I would say this is perfectly normal; hoever, if he's not close, I retract my earlier statement. He wants your body.
Lee725 Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 The fact of the situation is I am not close friends with this man. I am ticked-off about his inquest into my love life because it is none of his business if I am attached at the hip to a man or simply single. I don't go asking him about his love life. I want only friendship; he has to STOP sending me all these mixed signals. Tell him what the boundaries to your friendship are RE: conversations. You are not close so if you tell him and he never speaks to you again what does it matter?
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