miami45uconn Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 My exgirlfriend and I are close to 21 years of age so yes we both are young and unexperienced. We met during highschool and started dating for about 2.5 years until last thanksgiving. For the longest time she seemed so deep in love with me and made me believe her and I were something real something special. We were best friends we did everything together. Even my family took her to Spain and Paris for 2 weeks and her family in return took us to St. Thomas. To me I never thought doing all that meant we were just some type of baby love. I have never cared about someone more than myself. We did fight alot but we both had passionate tempers and could lose control sometimes. I could never get mad at her for some of the crazy things she did when she was hurt because I am the same way and i can't blame her. And just some added info about her she had MANY allergies. She was deadly allergic to nuts cinnamon latex and cantaloupe. She was also allergic to about 30 o0ther different foods ex. tomatoes, melons, salmon, alot of things alot of the good things. And she couldnt have palm kernal oil or coconut oil so almost ALL of the sweet things in life she Nor i could have. However i changed my eating habits because i cared about her when alot of people told me it would be too much. Well its not her fault and i happen to love the girl so i stopped eating those foods so i could kiss her and i started cooking for her so she could have all the fancy restaraunt food without asking the ingredients or oils. ( i felt like letting you guys know that because it was very stressful on me but i didnt mind) She wanted a break during thanksgiving and she told me during that break i shouldnt wait for her (which simply meant im most likely going to break up with you). I was and am devistated. for the first couple of weeks, yes i already know, i called her alot texted her and i guess annoyed her. I had never seen it coming. She had sent me messages saying i love you i miss you and all so i was so confused. She has now found herself in a good spot because she can go out and tell everyone i was crazy and bothered her and then she doesnt look like the bad guy. Since then she has completley blocked me out of her life. She changed her number, ( which seems very drastic considering when it was one yr. into our relationship and i had doubts and wanted a break or to end it she did the exact same thing even coming to my house opening the garage door). She wants nothing to do with me and i just dont understand it. When she wanted a break she said she didnt want this to end in us hating each other and cried when she thought we couldnt be friends and said she didnt want me out of her life completley. Thats just to give you an idea of whats going on or what happened. Im still in love and i really dont know how to turn it off. She seems to not want to talk to me or even know if im alive i guess so she doesnt have to feel the guilt ( if she even cares) of what she did and have to deal with me being heartbroken. The hardest thing is how much she built me up over the years making me believe this was something heaven sent and she really did love me. I go out i meet girls i do everything. I just dont have fun like i do with her alone or with people together. I cant let go tell me what to do.
brothermartin Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 You keep doing exactly what you are doing. You can't make yourself stop loving her and you cant make yourself forgive her. It all has to come in it's own time. Keep going out, meeting new people, not dating if you don't feel ready, but pick up a new hobbie or a couple of hobbies. Just try not to think about her as much as you can. Eventually, the feeling you have will no longer be there. Trust me. It just happened to me.
SmileyFace82 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Hi mate, I know how you are feeling cause i am feeling the same. Some days are better than others but you've got to remind yourself that the feelings won't just disappear overnight. It will slowly subside so in the meantime you should go out and meet some new people, new friends, expand your network and generally keep yourself busy on a social level. Yes you will have times when you think of her, or compare other girls to her but this is normal. Lots of people have experienced the same thing as you and i have and you just have to be strong and pull yourself through this stage of your life. I did all the things you did, like call her etc. and yes, she's made it appear that it's my fault too when in fact she's the one who was in the wrong (i won't go into it too much as this is not about me, it's about you). Don't get me wrong, i still have days when i miss her like crazy but then i realise that i'm living in a fantasy world. I've convinced myself that everything was rosy and that she was the perfect girl for me. Maybe she was, but she's not with me anymore. She's moved on and i've told myself that this is her loss. It really is, cause i know that she won't find someone who will love and care for her the way i did and would. She doesn't realise that right now but she will in the future... This is the mentality you should take. The fact is, they've moved on mate. We can choose to carry on loving them and not get anything back, or focus our energy on people who DO actually care about us like family and friends. You will find someone else in the future... imagine that feeling of someone loving you back who you love too. This girl will appear from nowhere, when you least expect it. For the time being you should just concentrate on keeping busy and doing things that will benefit your career and improve yourself as a person. Take up some hobbies and do some new stuff that you'd never even considered before. I hope all this helped, i'm feeling the same as you but i am hoping that i am nearing the end of the road of this journey of pain! I still love my ex too, but don't forget that it was their choice and it was their mistake. Now prove to her that it was a mistake. All this emotion that's built up inside you...focus that on those who deserve to be loved... love those who love you back.
HokeyReligions Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 You didn't fall in love overnight and you can't fall out of love overnight. You are doing the right things. Eventually one day you will realize that you have fallen out of love and you won't be able to tell when it actually happened. It will just be.
s_n_d Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 It takes time. Like HokeyReligions said, It wont happen overnight. You just need to try to move on until that happens. Go out, meet new people and keep yourself occupied, most importantly.
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