CCNWV Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Hi all, you can read up on my story in my original post. To sum up, the W had a brief EA that was only physical once at the end. When confronted she asked me to move out. Normally I'd take this as a sign that she want to swing from the other schween for a bit, but I'm confident that things ended there. We both need to go to our corners and work out our separate issues. I would expect her to be distant and cold or attempt NC herself if she was trying to move on. But instead she's nice, tell's me she loves and misses me. She acknowledges at times that she is still mad at me, but she's expressing this verbally instead of acting out her anger like she used too. How should I play this? My intent is to reconcile if possible. Should I continue being close? She seems receptive, but still keeps some distance. Or should I pull back and let her miss me more? Her issues with me were that I wasn't there for her emotionally and took her for granted and didn't give her attention. While her problem is dealing with long term resentment and forgiving a past affair (7 years ago). I'm working on these, but don't feel I can show her progress being apart with limited contact. But I don't want to come across as too needy and pathetic by calling every day (though she calls me half of the time now). Not hurting anymore (yay Meds) but still confused and feeling vulnerable.
Gunny376 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 (edited) Again? You need to work on yourself, you need to clearly define your wants and needs. You need to take sometime off and out of the relationship to figure you out, and what you want and need. You need to clearly define yourself, your life, your wants, your needs, your mission in life. You need a "mission statement" ~ why are you here? What are you doing here? What's your purpose here? Why did you cheat on your wife? How did you come to find yourself where you find yourself at in your life? Where do you want and need to be five, ten, fifteen, twenty, thrity years from now? What to "put" in and what to "leave out?" You have zero chance of success with the ex until you've ansewered these questions? With her or anyone else! You need to address your childhood, and any issues from it. Who are you, what are you, and who do you want to become? How did you get where your at, and how do you get to where you want to go? You? You need some "fire-gazing" time on the back forty! A L O N E! Well maybe you and "Old Yeller!" Edited January 11, 2008 by Gunny376
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