Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I posted this on infedelity too, but I need help!!!! x fiance and I racked up 20,000 in debt during our 7 year relationship together. Throughout our breakup he promised to pay me back and did for the first 2 1/2 months. Today...no 200.00 direct deposited. I don't know what to do. He's in another state...working...the debt is all in my name. All I have is an email saying he will pay it...with no numbers. Do I contact him? I am so scared. I won't be able to survive!!! What do I do!??!!?
LifesontheUp Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I'm the other side of the world to you. If I were you I would try and get some free legal advice before you make contact with your ex fiance.
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 Too late. I called. I wasn't mean or anything. Said, it was probably a mistake. I can't believe it. I really can't.
LifesontheUp Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 It was a mistake!?!........hmmmmmmmm If you can I would find out where you stand legally as from your posts he isn't the honest or trustworthy type. You need to be prepared.
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 No I mean...I said it was probably a mistake...like perhaps something happened with his finances? I don't know where I stand legally.
LifesontheUp Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 So did he say he was going to pay it? Do you have anyway of getting free legal advice?
Tripper Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Since the debt is in your name, you may be liable if you aren't careful. You need sound legal advice as to your options and liability. Please get some.
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 he won't call me back. I emailed his mom to see if she could help me. My landlord is a lawyer, I am hoping he will help me. I am so screwed. This kid is so mean. I can't even believe he is doing this to me. He is in another state working...I have no way of getting in contact with him other than phone. I don't want to make this ugly...but... If he was being malicious wouldn't he respond? What is going on? I can't take this anymroe!!!!
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 I spoke to him...first he said he was laid off now he's saying his lawyer says he has a case and he will win blah, blah. He told me his money was always in my account and I don't deserve any more from him. I can't even believe he is doing this. After everything. He was like I don't care. I was like what about everything I did for you...he was like I don't remember any of that. How can he be so heartless!!???
PinkRibbon Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 He can be heartless because he is an a**hole. Everything you had in the past amounts to nothing according to him and why should his money be any different. I hate hate hate this is happening. This is aweful. I would get a lawyer asap if you can.
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 I am so hurt. He treats me like I am poop.
OldEurope Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Confused, You are not poop, and do not let any jerk let you think you are poop or turn your life into poop... ...Which is not to say s--t doesn't happen! The advice here is clear: Try to get free legal advice, see if there is a lawyer who might work pro bono on your case. You DO have your ex's contact information somewhere I suppose? You do have his social security number somewhere I hope? Get as much information on him that you can. Secondly, try calling a debt consolidation company where you bring all these debts under one roof. Tell them exactly what is going on and if you can get some kind of break (slower or smaller payments) or if you should call the credit card companies separately to work out same. MOST credit card companies and other debtors CAN be "sympathetic" to these kinds of extreme cases, what they want to see is consistent payment. If you find yourself loaded with the debt because it is in your name, then you will have to deal with that debt, in a slow but steady manner. Get this creep out of your life, and do not ever share debt like that again. Chin up. You will get through this OE
Author Confused9 Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 Thanks OE. This creep wants nothing to do with my life...so I think we are okay on that. That hurst the worst. Now that NC was broken I feel WORSE. Like back to square one. WTF???? He is the one that caused this pain and he is the only one that can take it away it seems. I can't believe that's how I feel...but it is. I miss him. I love him. HE hates me and wishes I was dead it seems. so sad!
Gunny376 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 $20K Hah! First thing you do? Is contact your debtors. Stay in contact with them ~ weekly! Don't let them contact you ~ you call them! Weekly! And you tell their "Happy @ss!" I told you last week I didn't have the money ~ and I don't have it this week either! And next week isn't looking so good either! Then you work up a budget! Cover the essentials! Housing, rent, lights, heating~cooling, groceries, transportation, clothing, medical, dental, insurance, etc. What's left? You take your debts, you total them up for the total sum amount? Then you take each debt and figure out your %of debt. And that's the % of your debt/ disposable income after "living expenses" you send them each month! They won't be happy about it, but they'll live with it! Its the same thing these @sshats on tv do ~ but charge you thousands to do on tv! Most of your debt? Is probally CC (credit card) debt? If you can hold them off (most likely secerio) for six years? You can claim "absolute defense" in which case they can't touch you, harm you, do anything to you. You've got less worries than you think!
Author Confused9 Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 yes, 20,000 which I was only holding him accountable for 1/2. He paid me a total of 2,800 and then stopped. Nice huh? I guess I am lucky to get that much. I just don't understand the anger and madness he has for me. That is so hard to comprehend. It's almost like in his mind the roles are reveresed and I am the one who cheated, lied, etc. Where is the anger coming from? I don't know if I am strong enough to take him to court. I really don't. I know my shots of winning are slim or at least they seem slim. I will talk to my landlord who is a lawyer and I have applied for a few second jobs. I feel like he wins. That stinks. I want to contact him and tell him to go screw!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author Confused9 Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 My landlord is going to send him a letter asking for payment. I am so scared that this will turn ugly. I don't want his family to be mad at me. I feel like this isn't the right thing to do. AHHHH!
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