Author Confused9 Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 I don't think I am feeling sorry for myself. I am confused and hurt and came here seeking advice. Isn't that what everyone does? Isn't that the point of LS? I didn't mean to take up the board with all my questions. I really didn't. This is my first break up and it's a bad one. I didn't get answers from him so I came here looking for answers from you all who have been there before. I thought that's what I was suppossed to do? I am scared and I needed support. I didn't want to throw myself a pity party!
Mr. Lucky Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I didn't mean to take up the board with all my questions. I really didn't. This is my first break up and it's a bad one. I didn't get answers from him so I came here looking for answers from you all who have been there before. I'm not implying that you're wasting bandwidth with your questions . I'm just saying that it's commonly a two step process: 1). Working with the fine folks here at LS, you develop a consensus as to what the problem really is. 2). You decide what to do about it and how to move on with your life. There seems to be universal agreement here that the answer to #1 is that your ex-BF turned out to be jerk with borderline pathological tendencies. Now you need to start looking for answers to Question #2. I feel your pain and I hope you get through this... Mr. Lucky
Author Confused9 Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 Thanks Mr. Lucky. I hope I do to. I am just pizzed that he gets to walk away without any pain and continue to make me feel like I did wrong. It's hard to realize that I never knew him. HE is just so mean. I am hoping one day it will click and I Will relaize I am better off. Thanks to everyone!!!
mental_traveller Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 I can't believe this either. It's like he never cared about me. waht am I suppossed to do? He is so mean! You probably can't do anything. In future, never trust verbal agreements over debt/money. If an agreement is not signed & in writing, then it is no agreement at all. In future try to be less trusting over money matters.
Author Confused9 Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 Yeah. He turned out to be someone I never expected. Unfortunately I thought I woudl be with him forever...so I didn't think I needed to have any agreement. I was so stupid!
MJTig Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Funnel all of that into energy in getting your money back. I read this thread and I agree, you keep ignoring advice and going back to pouting that "it's not fair" and "he is mean" and "there is nothing I can do". i don't doubt your pain or confusion, but that defeatist attitude will not help you get better. It's over, he's an ass. He's playing you- because, well- i think he knows he can. Surprise him, get yourself together and fight back in small claims court, work out a way to take care of it in case it doesn't work. Get counseling to help you through this, find new hobbies.. just stop wallowing in this. i am not saying to snap out of it and get over him overnight- you will be sad, you will be hurt and that will take time. But you won't dry off if you keep sitting in the muck. *hug* sorry to be harsh but i think you need to hear that and are starting to understand.
Author Confused9 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Thank you MJTig. I have started applying for second jobs in order to keep up with paying our bills. I know I have been having the why me, poor me, attitude. I guess the shock of all of this has really caused me to go off the deep end. I am so suprised by him and what he's done and that has made this much more difficult to understand. I would have NEVER thought he would do this to me. I don't know what I am going to do in terms of the money he owes. I have both the engagement ring and the wedding band which I will try and sell. Both were purchased on no interest credit cards in my name so there is nothing he can do in terms of trying to get those back. Hopefully that will cover some of this debt. I know I need to face what's happened and get over it, but for a while I was just so confused and shocked by his behaviour it clouded what was really going on.
Author Confused9 Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 My landlord is going to send him a letter asking for payment. I am so scared that this will turn ugly. I don't want his family to be mad at me. I feel like this isn't the right thing to do. AHHHH!
Mr. Lucky Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 I am so scared that this will turn ugly. Let's see. Your boyfriend: 1). Cheated on you 2). Got another girl pregnant 3). Bailed on you 4). Said the most hurtful, vicious things he could think of 5). Taunted you online 6). Stiffed you for a large sum of money And you're afraid it might turn ugly? I give up... Mr. Lucky
Author Confused9 Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 I sort of mean with his parent's and others thinking I am a money hungry person. I just don't know what they will say about me or the fact that I am looking for money. I don't know what picture he has painted and I respect his parent's. Why do I care what everyone else thinks? I am willing to work 2 jobs and sit by and let him walk all over me so I won't rock the boat. What the h*ll is wrong with me?
Author Confused9 Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 Seriously...look at what he has done to me...why am I still putting his feelings, well being, first?!?!?
whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Because that's what you're used to and what you did for so many years. It's hard just to turn off and realize that he isn't the man you thought he was. All you can do is try your best to remember he is f*cked in the head, it's not your fault and someday, hopefully soon, you'll feel less sad and not hurt as much as you do now.
Author Confused9 Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 Thanks WWIU... I just hope this doesn't get uglier!!!
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