Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 x fiance and I racked up 20,000 in debt during our 7 year relationship together. Throughout our breakup he promised to pay me back and did for the first 2 1/2 months. Today...no 200.00 direct deposited. I don't know what to do. He's in another state...working...the debt is all in my name. All I have is an email saying he will pay it...with no numbers. Do I contact him? I am so scared. I won't be able to survive!!! What do I do!??!!?
ElvenPriestess Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 You contact him, give him the date you need it by, and make it very clear. I had an ex who had a cell under my name, it was agreed it would be paid by him and I'd cancel it at end of contract. He stopped paying, it was in my name and almost to collections! So I emailed him and was polite. He said he'd look into it. Well he only had a few days to pay before it hit collections so I told him I need it now, that he was messing me over. He got mad, paid it, said to never contact him again. My point is, with finances that are in your name you have to be very firm. Don't take any chances, contact him asap. Ask what the deal is.
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 I tried to call he didn't answer. I can't believe this!!!
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 no. I haven't. I am so scared. How could he do this too? On top of everything.
ElvenPriestess Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 He's being very selfish. You have to email him. I understand you're scared, you don't know what's going on, don't let him escape. Use what ever means you can to contact him. He made an agreement, make him stick to it.
LifesontheUp Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I've been replying on your other thread. You need to find out where you stand legally. If you don't have a signed agreement for him to pay and its in your name it is likely that it'll be on you only. Get some free legal advice if you can.
ElvenPriestess Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 This is true, if there's nothing in writing he CAN stick it on you and there's not much you can do as it's in your name. But I'm hoping he will be more reasonable to you than that.
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 I emailed him, called him, texted him and emailed his mom. I have an email from him back in November I said are you going to pay me the money you owe me and he says yes and some other mean things. that's all I have. We had an apartment together in which we were both on the lease and his car and car insurance was in my name. The car has been sold and the car insurance cancelled but that is all I had that is in his name. My landlord is a lawyer and I will talk to him but my fiance is in another state working...I don't know how that works. I am so upset. How can he do this?!?!
bish Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 x fiance and I racked up 20,000 in debt during our 7 year relationship together. Throughout our breakup he promised to pay me back and did for the first 2 1/2 months. Today...no 200.00 direct deposited. I don't know what to do. He's in another state...working...the debt is all in my name. All I have is an email saying he will pay it...with no numbers. Do I contact him? I am so scared. I won't be able to survive!!! What do I do!??!!? Well since it is in your name only, I don't know if it will do any good or not, but you could always talk to a judge. Some would say get an attorney, but you will probably spend more on an attorney to get the money out of him than what he owes. I'd contact him and ask him whats up first. You could also suck it up and pay an attorney for a consult.
ElvenPriestess Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 That's good you have a way to talk to a lawyer. I don't know all the ins and outs, but hopefully with all the steps you're taking to reach him he'll answer you. I'm so sorry. I know just how this feels, if not on the big scale you have. Try to remain calm, I know it's hard. First thing to do is call the debtors and request an extension BEFORE the due dates. They don't really help as much if it's already up. Does he have a work number you can reach him at? I can't believe he says mean things to you in his email! You helped him SO MUCH, trusted him with putting your name on everything. What an ungrateful jerk. Extensions, work call if possible, and persistence.
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 I don't really have much on him...I called his work cell phone. This kid went out of state as we were planning our wedding for work, met someone, got her preggo, then left me high and dry. He blamed me and made me feel like SH*T. I can't even begin to describe how much he heart me and now this... He promised the money would always be there and now he's taken that away too. I don't understand how he can do this. How is he so heartless? He loved me a couple of months ago...now this.
justice Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Make sure you keep all conversations documented with dates and times with what he says, take that to an attorney and he should be able to get you some results. Another way would be for you to draft a letter and send to him via certified, signature required mail, with your request about payment. That way when he gets it, he has to sign for it and can't say he never got anything from you. Take that to the attorney too. Good luck.
ElvenPriestess Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I don't really have much on him...I called his work cell phone. This kid went out of state as we were planning our wedding for work, met someone, got her preggo, then left me high and dry. He blamed me and made me feel like SH*T. I can't even begin to describe how much he heart me and now this... He promised the money would always be there and now he's taken that away too. I don't understand how he can do this. How is he so heartless? He loved me a couple of months ago...now this. I'd ring his neck if I could! Lying, cheating, piece of...!!! Ok, but the fact is he's screwing you over again. Te FIRST step is legal advice. If you have he work cell, call when you know he's at work. Id' say he's cutting you off because of the bimbo he picked up but it doesn't matter. He needs to make good on his word. Not leave you high and dry. Yep, legal advice and call him at work. Don't let him think he can get away with this. I think that's what he wants. Can't let him if you can help it.
Mz. Pixie Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 He promised the money would always be there and now he's taken that away too. I don't understand how he can do this. How is he so heartless? He loved me a couple of months ago...now this. We know he's a liar so how did you believe him when he said all of this?? While you're waiting on him to contact you- what is your interim plan?? How are you going to pay it if he doesn't?? My husband went through this with an ex. He let her have a substantial amount of money- not as much as $20K though and she promised to pay him back. Of course when he would ask her for the money she would get pissed off. Finally I told him that it was worth the drama just to pay the bill off himself and let it go. Because she was going to continue to bring drama to his life- and in the end my life too. So, even though he could have pursued her legally he let it go. In the meantime just in case he doesn't pay the money you may think about what you're going to do.
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 Update I spoke to him...first he said he was laid off now he's saying his lawyer says he has a case and he will win blah, blah. He told me his money was always in my account and I don't deserve any more from him. I can't even believe he is doing this. After everything. He was like I don't care. I was like what about everything I did for you...he was like I don't remember any of that. How can he be so heartless!!???
ElvenPriestess Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Update I spoke to him...first he said he was laid off now he's saying his lawyer says he has a case and he will win blah, blah. He told me his money was always in my account and I don't deserve any more from him. I can't even believe he is doing this. After everything. He was like I don't care. I was like what about everything I did for you...he was like I don't remember any of that. How can he be so heartless!!??? You don't deserve anymore? Well then he didn't deserve anything you did either! Doesn't remember. This guy needs help and fast. Cop out city. b/s city. Who does he think he is? Use abuse and run out? I'm so sorry Confused. Geeze. *Hugs you and assures no matter what it will be ok*
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 I can't believe this either. It's like he never cared about me. waht am I suppossed to do? He is so mean!
ElvenPriestess Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 He's masking everything he did with malicious acts and anger so as not to have to deal with the facts of what he's done. The only thing you can do is attempt calls and contact as much as possible, and again seek legal advice. And then go from there.
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 See I thnk he just really doesn't care. If he had any love for me...he wouldn't do this. But, why is he answering his phone. He wouldn't give me the name of his lawyer or the company his lawyer works for. That is weird. He told me he was laid off, then said I don't deserve the money...which is it? She was suppossed to be preggo now he's saying she lost the kid. What is wrong with him? I am not going to be able to pay my debt. All I have is my credit. Waht will I do now?
JustBreathe Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 This is just my rudimentary understanding of legal situations like these. I am NOT an attorney or anything. So please please don't take my word for anything... however.. as i understand it... You can sue someone from another state, but the drawback is you have to file the suit in the state where he lives. I think there are some exceptions to it, like whether he periodically has business, owns property, or travels to the state you live in, but you please please have to talk to a lawyer. Are you willing to travel to where he is for court appearances if necessary? Are you willing to pay for the services of an attorney to get back your money? If you could prove he owes you the money, solid proof not heresay, then you could get part or all of the costs of your lawuit back once judgment is passed. Go through your records. How did you amass the $20,000 debt? Was it for things you both used? I'm not sure, but I believe it doesn't matter if his name was on anything if you both benefitted from whatever it was you spent the money on. $20,000 is alot of money and I would at least shop around and see if I could get a lawyer to handle this for me and whether it wouild be worth it. Get a consultation. Many times, lawyers don't charge for consultations and give you an idea of where to start with this. Then that way, you don't have to have anymore dealings with the loser except when you see him in court. No more phone calls to him or anything. You might even be able to get his wages garnished and have the money automatically come out of his check. Any way you look at it, if he ducks out, you are going to have to foot the bill for a time whether or not you sue him as the lawsuit will take time. Get busy. Screw him. He's undependable. Dig up some proof and see a lawyer to determine whether it's worth the fight.
ElvenPriestess Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Well there's a few things here. One, he's a f****** liar. Nothing he's told you was true. As you have good credit you can do debt consolidation. Condense all your bills to one lump sum, have one mass bill with a much smaller payment then if they were individual. Now that is the last resort. Don't look into that until it is absolutely necessary. First is the legal advice, getting a hold of him, and if all that fails, you have to contact your creditors. Ask for an extension and then consolidate to a payment you can afford by yourself since jack*** decided to leave you hanging. Or there's always court.
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 This is just my rudimentary understanding of legal situations like these. I am NOT an attorney or anything. So please please don't take my word for anything... however.. as i understand it... You can sue someone from another state, but the drawback is you have to file the suit in the state where he lives. I think there are some exceptions to it, like whether he periodically has business, owns property, or travels to the state you live in, but you please please have to talk to a lawyer. Are you willing to travel to where he is for court appearances if necessary? Are you willing to pay for the services of an attorney to get back your money? If you could prove he owes you the money, solid proof not heresay, then you could get part or all of the costs of your lawuit back once judgment is passed. Go through your records. How did you amass the $20,000 debt? Was it for things you both used? I'm not sure, but I believe it doesn't matter if his name was on anything if you both benefitted from whatever it was you spent the money on. $20,000 is alot of money and I would at least shop around and see if I could get a lawyer to handle this for me and whether it wouild be worth it. Get a consultation. Many times, lawyers don't charge for consultations and give you an idea of where to start with this. Then that way, you don't have to have anymore dealings with the loser except when you see him in court. No more phone calls to him or anything. You might even be able to get his wages garnished and have the money automatically come out of his check. Any way you look at it, if he ducks out, you are going to have to foot the bill for a time whether or not you sue him as the lawsuit will take time. Get busy. Screw him. He's undependable. Dig up some proof and see a lawyer to determine whether it's worth the fight. His legal address is in the same state I am in. He hasn't legally changed anything to my knowledge. He has no property. The 20,000 was all credit card debt. Clothes, jewelry, food, etc. We were stupid with our money in the beginning. Not all of it is his and I understand that. I put the engagement ring and wedding band on a credit card with just my name on it...AHHHH! Also, I purchased a car and car insurance in my name with him as the primary driver. I am just scr*wed.
Author Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 Well there's a few things here. One, he's a f****** liar. Nothing he's told you was true. As you have good credit you can do debt consolidation. Condense all your bills to one lump sum, have one mass bill with a much smaller payment then if they were individual. Now that is the last resort. Don't look into that until it is absolutely necessary. First is the legal advice, getting a hold of him, and if all that fails, you have to contact your creditors. Ask for an extension and then consolidate to a payment you can afford by yourself since jack*** decided to leave you hanging. Or there's always court. I mean...has be been lying to me the whole time? Was our relationship NEVER true?
ElvenPriestess Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I mean...has be been lying to me the whole time? Was our relationship NEVER true? I can't tell you that, because I wasn't there. I'm just saying I think he's lied about her, lied about paying you back, and his stories just don't add up. Like with the job, the pregnancy, I just think that ever SINCE the girl and the break up he's lied to you. I'm not saying before that, because he may have really cared for you. But from the girl and on I'd say he's been full of crap. But that's why it's a wonderful thing you aren't with him. You get to take care of you now.
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