Who has any knowledge about annulments and catholic marriage?

[HisLove]

Looking for advice from people in the Catholic faith. It is likely in the future that I will be marrying my sweetheart. He is catholic and has been married once before. He is divorced and that marriage annulled. So he's good to go to remarry in the catholic church. I'm pretty sure I have that much right so far.

 

I have been married twice. Divorced twice. I am Anglican. First marriage in a church. Second marriage civil service. I think the Catholic church will not even look at my second marriage as existing at all because it was civil. However, do I need to have my first Anglican church marriage annulled by the Catholic church? (if I want to get married in a catholic church).

 

Do I have this right so far?

 

My first marriage did not involve adultery or abuse, so what on earth am I going to be able to give as grounds for it to be annulled. I understand that annullments can take up to 18 months, sometimes longer. I'm trying to deal with this now instead of getting wedding plans in place and then be disappointed or stressed.

 

It would have been easier if the first & second marriages were swapped around as my second husband was a cheater and an abuser. As this was a civil service I don't think the church will recognise it anyway. So it's the first marriage that is the problem.

 

Can somebody help me out here. Any advice is muchly appreciated.

[Tomcat33]

If my memory doesn't fail me I believe you are good to go.

 

If two Catholic people marry and then want to D the church disowns the person filing for divorce and he/she may not receive the Eucharist, until the divorce is annulled. Here in Canada that would be a year and a little more than less.

 

Now as far as being able to marry a catholic having a D from another faith, you are D'ed and so you are ready to marry again. But if you want to practice the religion and receive communion that is where the church steps in to remind you of all the guilt the faith is founded on...

 

Your best bet is to call a local church much better than speculating here...

[SerenityX2]

I am not 100 pct,but I thought only Catholic marriages need to be annuled...I'm not sure if the first one is technically recognized.

 

There's a site out there called catholic answers...I think it may be forums.catholic or something like that...I'm sure if you google it you can find it...I'm sure they may be able to help...they're not always the friendliest bunch though LOL....couple times I went on lots of arguing!

 

I know you can get an annulment based on if it was never in the "spirit" of the Catholic church...in other words it was never a true marriage under Catholic definition. So there are other optioins besides adultery.

 

My H and I are both Catholic w/annulments and yes, it was a pia...we actually completed this well before meeting each other...it was one of the reasons we were able expediate things as we did.

 

We both were able to have them granted as both my exH and his exW had affairs....however I think they also fell under that "spirit" rule!

 

but think how much stronger you are! And now you met the man of your dreams.

 

HTH

Peace

[HisLove]

Thank you both for your replies. I will go and look for the sites you mentioned.

 

So you think that my first Anglican church marriage won't be recognised anyway in the same way as the civil service?

 

If so, that makes things much easier!!

 

Gee this really gets convoluted and complicated lol. He better make it worth my while.

Edited January 11, 2008 by HisLove

[Citizen Erased]

Thank you both for your replies. I will go and look for the sites you mentioned.

 

So you think that my first Anglican church marriage won't be recognised anyway in the same way as the civil service?

 

If so, that makes things much easier!!

 

Gee this really gets convoluted and complicated lol. He better make it worth my while.

 

If you were not married by a Catholic Priest, in a Catholic Church, then technically no, to them you have never been married before. To them (and me, I am Catholic btw) there are no other religions. Being married in a Protestant church is the same as a civil service to them.

[HisLove]

Thank you Coco!

 

I was starting to feel very gloomy about this, thinking I wouldn't be able to untangle the mess. Or that there was no way around it.

[quankanne]

1. contact the tribunal office in the diocese (regional HQ of the Church) and ask what the turn-around time is for anullments – here it's only a couple of months because we had help taking care of the backlog of local cases and they go straight to the court in San Antonio, which renders a final judgment.

 

2. your husband should have a copy of the anullment decree from when he got his prev. marriage anulled. If not, then it's recorded at his church of origin, where he was baptized. You'll need this.

 

3. as for your first marriage: was it the first marriage for either of you? If so, and if it is recognized by the church, you'll have to file the paperwork for an anullment. When I say recognized, I mean in a faith or civil court that's recognized by the church (like when Nicole Kidman married Keith Urban, she didn't have to get an anullment from her first husband because the Church didn't recognize the union, which was done through the Church of Scientology, which Church considers a cult). If there was a previous marriage on his end that was never anulled, then he wasn't "free" to marry you and you may be able to get by with just filling out a short form establishing proof of his marriage and divorce (for each time he'd been married for you). Meaning you'll need copies of marriage licences and divorce decrees for each of those unions of his, as well as the M/D court info for yours.

 

4. on the second marriage, was it the second marriage for the both of you? If so, then Husband 2 was not free to marry you, so you'll end up doing the short form with that marriage, just providing court docs proving his M/D to his previous marriage(s), as well as the court docs for yours. Again, the tribunal will be able to give you a better idea of just what you need. If it was the first marriage for him, but your first marriage, I *think* you may have to file anullment paperwork because then that union is considered valid (the tribunal will tell you for sure)

 

all marriages count in the eyes of the church, but there are ways of proving if they are sacramentally valid (nothing to do with civil law, but sacramental/canon law). Being married in the church or before a JP doesn't really make a difference unless it's something like what I described about Kidman's marriage "sanctioned" by the Scientologists.

 

as far as grounds for anullment, there are several considerations, mostly dealing with "was I mature enough to understand what I was getting into? Was my spouse?" And that can cover a whole array of things like psychiatric, abuse, chemical/alcohol dependency, etc.

 

there are advocates who can help you through the steps as you fill out the paperwork for anullments, from deacons to priests to lay people with canon law training, you just need to check with the diocesan tribunal to give you the name of the contact person.

 

also keep in mind you'll be needing to come up with a list of witnesses who can vouch for the state of your marriage or even your childhood upbringing. I was told that the more information you give, the better off your case is, because then the tribunal has some meat to work with.

 

good luck – its a huge undertaking, and very, very probing, but from what everyone tells me, it's also very cathartic because when it's all done, you can completely put it behind you.

 

I was starting to feel very gloomy about this, thinking I wouldn't be able to untangle the mess. Or that there was no way around it.

 

just keep it down to managable chunks – I've been trying to piece together information for my husband so that we can have our marriage blessed by the Church, and it's been about 13 years! (mostly because I get side-tracked, but we'll get there)

Edited January 11, 2008 by quankanne

[HisLove]

Thanks quankanne.

 

My first marriage was a first marriage for both of us. My second marriage was a second marriage for both of us (ie, he had been married before).

 

So I'm getting really confused on whether the catholic church recognises my first marriage that was conducted in a different faith - it was an Anglican service and church.

[SeraBella]

I would contact the church you will be married in.

 

A friend of mine who is getting married next month is Catholic, and it's her first marriage. Her fiance was married once before in a civil ceremony. They went to the Catholic church to discuss the marriage ceremony and they ARE NOT able to be married there. They were told his first marriage must be annulled. They have decided to marry in a Presbyterian church since they didn't want to wait for the annulment. Her cousin's annulment took 3 years, so I guess that was why they decided not to wait.

[HisLove]

Yes SeraBella...I have been in touch with the diocese in my area. Things could be drawn out and complicated. So I'm feeling a little despondent at the moment. The problem is my first marriage. We were both single and it was our first marriage (Anglican church & service) and the diocese has advised that the church recognizes this first marriage.

 

My sweetheart is aware of my circumstances, this isn't all news to him. So perhaps he is not too concerned about how we will be married if it gets to that point.

 

I'm just sitting on it at this stage to see which way I am guided. As I've been married twice. and he's dealt with a cheating wife and subsequent divorce, he may not be that pedantic about it. I will have to weigh everything up and see what happens.