cyberangel Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 First this is my first post here, and I feel that I am not getting the understanding that I need. Or more to the point I am not getting the understanding of the problem, and how it is sitting on me. My problem is complex, but to begin my lover is 13 years older than me and she has 2 daughters of whom one is a mother of 3. We had a bit of a falling out, and still saw each other. This one xmas I wanted to go to my xmas party, but due to the hour it was and a thursday night my partner did not want to go. In time I was pressured at work to attend, so on the day I decided to go. When I got home there was 5 missed calls on my mobile, and 6 on my home phone with 2 message on each. The next day I was asked it would have been nice to tell her that I was going so that if she needed me, she knew where I was. And I agreed with her, and understood where she was comming from. However one week later she had told me that she would love to go to her, grandsons xmas breakup and wasn't sure she could due to work. On the day that she would like to attend she stuck by that, and said she wasn't sure she was going. I later found out that she did go. Now my question is this? Was it wrong of me to expect after what she had said to me, to have the same curtiousy in return. She never told me she was going, or she wasnt. but when I confronted her, she had stated that it is not like she can't be reached on her phone. But should the same rule apply, if she demanded my respect and I looked for hers am I wrong in thinking that way?
D-Lish Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I think that both issues have to do with common respect- letting your partner know where you are. Especially if you have reached that stage of dating where you are in a serious relationship. I do however think that these are trivial issues that shouldn't interfere with your love for one another. Perhaps it was her way of getting a dig in.... perhaps, like you, she decided to go at the last minute. I think you have to pick and choose your battles in relationships...and this doesn't sound like a battle worth getting overly worked up over. How are things in your relationship otherwise? Is your communication usually pretty good? Is there trust present?
Author cyberangel Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 D-Lish, thanks for your quick reply. The problem is that we lived together for nearly two years before we seperated. The issue I had at the time, she claimed she loved me and I agreed with what she pointed out. My problem at the time was she went out of her way to tell me that I was inconsiderate, and thats where I agreed because I was. The issue I guess is that she then went out of her way to tell me that it is totally different, and not the same thing and that she intended to go even though she could not make it. I just believed that she should have done what she pinned me for and be curtiousy to abide by her own rules.
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