confuused55 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Hi, I need closure about something that actually happened a while ago. I went on a group trip out of the country and as part of the trip we had some foreign students from that country join us for part of the tour. I got to know some of the foreign students but there were some that I hadn't really gotten to know well. One day we had a speaker come and talk to us and I made a comment during the talk and afterward some of my friends started telling me that I made a really good comment.... Then, next thing I know one of the foreign students who I hadn't really spent that much time with (but, who, let me say was extremely hot) came up to me and started saying how my comment was so good and he was impressed.... Then that night we all went out to this really crowded place and somehow he saw me in the crowd and started talking to me but was then whisked away by some of the guys in our group. Then the next day he ended up sitting next to me on the bus and I was so nervous. He was just so good looking and on top of that he had grown somewhat interested in me because of something that I had said, because of my mind and intellect. So, we started talking and he asked me a lot of questions about myself.... things were going pretty well until I started looking at him and getting nervous again. And then I started thinking that I couldn't think of anything else to say because of my nervousness and I didn't want to look stupid not saying anything to him and I was so scared of that that I pretended to be sleepy and told him that I was going to take a nap. Right after I did that I felt bad about it but it was too late, I had to fake sleep. After this incident he started paying less attention to me and so I started to think that I was totally imagining everything the whole time and that he had never had a special interest in me, that it was all in my mind. Then, the next day we were moving chairs to sit in the hotel and he was right behind me and he offered to take my chair for me in a quiet sweet voice but I told him that I was strong enough to take my own chair. When I said that he looked kind of shocked and I wondered if I had somehow offended him. I basically just need some objective views and closure on this. I could really use some perspective. Thank You.
D-Lish Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Hun, He liked you- and he was trying his hardest to get your attention...and he mistook your nervousness for rejection. So, you no longer have contact with him? You will never see him again? If that is the case- just chalk it up to experience. Are you always nervous talking to men? I could offer you some advice on how to practice talking to men if you'd like.... It worked for me when I was thrown back into the dating scene after many years of being in a LTR.
Author confuused55 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 (edited) please, if you have advice share it with me. I can obviously use the help. also, i just want to add that after the bus incident i tried to join in a conversation with him because i felt bad about the whole thing but he wasn't as interested in talking to me. and when he sat next to me on the bus it was because the tour guide kept telling everyone to sit down and there was an empty seat next to me, it's not as though he came and asked me to sit next to him, but i guess he could have sat elsewhere if he had wanted to. also, when we were talking on the bus it was going okay at first but because i was so nervous i couldn't make good conversation and we were coming to a standstill in the conversation (you know when neither person knows what to say next) and i thought i would be doing both of us a favor by pretending to take a nap, so we would not have to feel awkward not knowing what to say to one another. what a mess. i guess we all need to make mistakes to learn in the future. Edited January 10, 2008 by confuused55
D-Lish Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I still think there was some interest there. A great way to develop more confidence in having conversations with potential dates is to practice on stangers and men you aren't interested in. Strike up conversations with sales people at the mall, grocery cashiers, your friends boyfriend's, etc. It's just exercising the art of conversation. You can do this with anyone... Also- stay aware of current events, have a funny story on stand-by, read the sports section.... anything that might be a topic of conversation. I made a point of just chatting with people I didn't know. Not in a weird way...lol. I might tell a salesperson I liked her shoes or mention something about the weather.... It just helps to put yourself out there with people who don't intimidate you. You can always ask someone to tell you about themselves when there is a lull. Asking questions keeps the focus off you and leads to segways where you can interject with your own experiences.
Author confuused55 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 Can I please get some more advice, please?
Author confuused55 Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 can i please get some more feedback? thank you!
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