amber1 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I have been talking to a guy I met on a dating site for about 2 weeks. We had good phone conversations. We finally agreed on a day to meet up. Our date is scheduled for tomorrow early afternoon. I haven't heard from him at all since Sunday. We both told each other that we like each other so far. It's after 10:30 pm and not a word. I thought for sure he would call by now. Last time we talked he told me that we would probably talk before our date. But nothing. Does this sound like he doesn't want to meet me? I know he isn't dead because he is online on the dating site right now.
Ronni_W Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I know he isn't dead because he is online on the dating site right now. This happened to me once. I'd actually flown to his city...to visit with friends, but still. During my 4 days there, he managed to pick-up the phone once. I could envision him cowering in the corner the other times I called. I didn't even bother on the 3rd or 4th day. I've come to the conclusion that some people just don't have the emotional intelligence and/or functional coping skills to deal with situations the rest of us wouldn't find overly scary or stressful (or whatever his mind has turned a first meeting with you into.) Does it help to think it's better for you to have found this out about him now than later? Wishing you a happy weekend no matter how this one thing plays itself out
Krytie TV Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I would say that you invest too much too soon. When doing online dating, to invest any feelings into a relationship before meeting someone is a big mistake. Online communication prior to a date is harmless and noncommital. The fact that anyone can express any strong feelings for someone based on text communication is naive, IMO. Never invest before some meetings have occured. He WILL be a different person in real life than in text... bank on it.
Star Gazer Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I would say that you invest too much too soon. When doing online dating, to invest any feelings into a relationship before meeting someone is a big mistake. Online communication prior to a date is harmless and noncommital. The fact that anyone can express any strong feelings for someone based on text communication is naive, IMO. Never invest before some meetings have occured. He WILL be a different person in real life than in text... bank on it. I don't see how she's invested anything at all. Sounds more like she's wondering if he's flaking or not.
bozwa Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I have been talking to a guy I met on a dating site for about 2 weeks. We had good phone conversations. We finally agreed on a day to meet up. Our date is scheduled for tomorrow early afternoon. I haven't heard from him at all since Sunday. We both told each other that we like each other so far. It's after 10:30 pm and not a word. I thought for sure he would call by now. Last time we talked he told me that we would probably talk before our date. But nothing. Does this sound like he doesn't want to meet me? I know he isn't dead because he is online on the dating site right now. I actually had similar situations to this....4 IN A ROW to be exact! (was it me? something I said? LMAO!!!) Mine were all...we would first email, then IM, then move to the phone and talk that way for quite some time (one of them was actually too nervous to move to the phone lol), and then once it came down that we would plan to meet, they all had one reason or another why they were too nervous or ambivolent to meeting. Finally after the 4th one (and this one I thought really could have been something), I decided to give up on the online dating....until my current boyfriend emailed me the very day I decided this. We met quickly, we attached quickly and are blissfully happy a year later. I'd say if you don't hear from him...no biggie. There's more fish to fry.
Krytie TV Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I don't see how she's invested anything at all. Sounds more like she's wondering if he's flaking or not. I guess my point is that when doing online dating, you should almost expect people to be like this. People are flaky and evasive. He never made an appointment to call so why should she be expecting him to? They've never met and she has already placed an expectation for communication that may not be warranted.
Star Gazer Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I guess my point is that when doing online dating, you should almost expect people to be like this. People are flaky and evasive. He never made an appointment to call so why should she be expecting him to? Because they made an appointment to meet today.
Author amber1 Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 Well we never met up. I didn't hear from him before or right after the date. We have texted each other a bit since but things are very strange now. So far with online dating, I have had a somewhat long relationship out of the first guy I met a little over a year ago, and then have had about 3 dates after that was over, each with different guys. Nothing moved past that with those guys. When I met those guys in person, things just weren't right. Anyway, before meeting every one of those guys, they always confirmed before the actual meeting. This guy did not. Anyway, some weird stuff has happened since I posted this thread and just don't know if I will ever hear from this guy again. I've never come across one like this. He is a bit older than me, 9 or so years, so that might play a part. All the other guys were around my age. I would think that a guy who is older might have more manners than he did. Thanks for your replies! My online dating account ends in February. I have cancelled it but I'm still not sure if I should keep doing it or not. I guess if the right guy is out there he will find me no matter what.
Krytie TV Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Because they made an appointment to meet today. Some people make plans and are able to stick to them without confirmation. If she's concerned, she should call him. After reading her post: Oh well, again, people are flaky. No loss. Just try not to expect too much from people you've never met OP. Hopefully you're not too put out by it.
Author amber1 Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 Some people make plans and are able to stick to them without confirmation. If she's concerned, she should call him. After reading her post: Oh well, again, people are flaky. No loss. Just try not to expect too much from people you've never met OP. Hopefully you're not too put out by it. I was a little upset at first because we had some good conversations and I was looking forward to the meet up. However, if he's going to be this way now it sort of shows me how he will be if we were dating (flaky), and I don't want a guy like that.
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