cj1988 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Hell Marriedandsad, thank you. I know in my heart what I did was wrong and I believe 13 years of being faithful has more than help show I am not like that inside. I was young, dumb and very selfish. I wanted to be the center of attention anywhere I could get it because my H was not taking care of me, so like the fool I was, found it and it came back to bite me in the A--. I do feel sorry for people that cheat and try and make excuses for it and show NO remorse. THey are lost idiots in a world all alone and that is where they will end up in the end. You were brave to tell your H that shows your character as well. Never under estimate the power of honesty, you can not gp wrong there !
marriedandsad Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Hell Marriedandsad, thank you. I know in my heart what I did was wrong and I believe 13 years of being faithful has more than help show I am not like that inside. I was young, dumb and very selfish. I wanted to be the center of attention anywhere I could get it because my H was not taking care of me, so like the fool I was, found it and it came back to bite me in the A--. I do feel sorry for people that cheat and try and make excuses for it and show NO remorse. THey are lost idiots in a world all alone and that is where they will end up in the end. You were brave to tell your H that shows your character as well. Never under estimate the power of honesty, you can not gp wrong there ! Thank you CJ. The weird thing is...he was more angry that I waited to tell him instead of telling him the next day. I just couldn't look in his face and lie anymore. He deserves better than that. I do gotta tell you about one of my exes who cheated. He cheated on me with 2 other girls, at the same time. None of us knew about the other until one of them found my picture and a letter I had written to him at college. Then she demanded he call me and end things. He did call me....and he played the whole "I am so confused I don't know who to pick..." game and was "crying". When my best friend and I got home, there was a message on my answering machine. It was him. All it said was "Liz, I have something to tell you..." and then you hear a slap and a girl scream in the background "YOU *********!" and a door slam and the phone hang up LOL!!! My friend and I just stood there for a moment staring, then burst into laughter. Needless to say he said he chose me and we stayed together...only to find out he never got rid of the other girl. Then the weekend my grandmother died, he had called and said his phone and internet was down because of construction near his dorm. My grandmother had died shortly after I got his message so I tried to call him. The phone just rang and rang. I had a really weird feeling. So I called him his college switchboard and found out that the phones and internet were NOT down. At that moment, we were through. When I did get a hold of him 3 days later, he informed me that he was asking another girl to marry him...a THIRD girl he had on the side. She didn't know about me either. Then he brought her to meet me because he wanted my "Blessing". She walked into my apartment and said "OMG You're BEAUTIFUL!" and then glared at him. They ended up breaking up, and now he is married to the other girl I had mentioned, the one who found my picture. Cute huh. He played the victim card until I wanted to hurl. He had 3 women going all at the same time. YUCK.
cj1988 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Married, some people have no morals and your EX sounds like mine in high school. He did the same thing and we all dumped his butt. Now that I have grown up and can see the damage cheating causes I am much more aware of my own actions. My H and I are now going through something very hurtful to both, but I have not and will not cheat....I will not lower myself to that level again. I am leaving him now and as soon as we are D, I will then be able to see others, not what I want right now. Now, it is about me and what I want to do with the rest of my life. My son ( GOd love him) is now in college, so for the first time in my life, it is ALL me ! I am excited, scared and so looking forward to a new beginning. I do not want him to hurt, he derserves a new start as well. But, no matter how you do it D after 13 years is painful even if it is the right thing to do, not what I wanted, but have to move on....he does not want this, but in the end hopefully it will makes wiser people for the future !
heftysmurf Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 I believe cheaters are "broken" people. They are weak. They escape reality at the expense of all and do not really care while they are in the affair. I do not believe any cheater is not shelfish. You/they all are. It is me first damn the consequences. That is not love and if you are out of love guess what leave or talk to them. Oh scary. My wife could have told me I do not love you and left. Much better that dealing with absolute betrayl. Sorry about my harshness but I believe cheaters live in fantasy land and most never really get what they have done to the mind of their poor faithful loving spouse. It takes a special person to harm someone like that. A real special one.
cj1988 Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 Hefty, I agree TOTALLY with your post. I was broken in more ways than even knew when I cheated in my first H. That is why after that I could never do that to someone again. No, I do not think that I deserved to be cheated on either as a what goes around comes around, but it is KARMA and it came back to haunt me. Atleast I can say this time I was true to my heart myeslf and to him, he cannot.....Funny enough my H said he hates cheaters, has for years then some how justifies his EA in his own head, that is broken and selfish !
KenzieAbsolutely Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 (edited) Well...by saying he is capable of doing it again, then isn't that the same with you? If you haven't cheated again and are trying to turn a leaf, then I applaud you...but for you to say that HE is capable of it again....then does this apply to you as well? because individuals can only truly speak for themselves; you can control your own behaviour. you can choose to believe someone else's words, but you cannot predict what others may actually do. Edited January 14, 2008 by KenzieAbsolutely
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