Mustang Sally Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Unders - What an important point you bring up! I can say that, for myself, when thinking about the possibility of divorce, I have forced myself to think about how I would feel about H datin/remarrying. That, in and of itself, does not bother me. But the effect that other women might have on my kids? Now that's another story... Not for the faint of heart, I'd say. And it behooves anyone thinking of D to spend some time thinking about these issues.
Mustang Sally Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 CaliGuy - You make an important point, too. We all (especially those who may be viewing things from the vantage point that AP has suggested) need to get our "baggage checked," if you will. We have to make sure that we are personally right with ourselves before we expect to find another healthy LTR in our futures.
alterego1234 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 (edited) I would love to know what dating is like in your late 30's. Kid's involved and all? Any suggestion's would be great! AP:) AP, I think it is easier in that you hopefully know far better what you want in life and a partner, but it is harder in that the pool of available folks is generally full of people with more baggage than when you're younger. This cuts both ways -- All the women I see out there in their 30's have baggage of various types. But all of the men -- me included -- have baggage as well. This includes kids, ex's, child support payments, emotional issues, health issues. I wouldn't involve my kids at all unless things got serious. Good luck. Edited January 10, 2008 by alterego1234
Cobra_X30 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I can say that, for myself, when thinking about the possibility of divorce, I have forced myself to think about how I would feel about H datin/remarrying. That, in and of itself, does not bother me. But the effect that other women might have on my kids? Now that's another story... Not for the faint of heart, I'd say. And it behooves anyone thinking of D to spend some time thinking about these issues. As someone who lived it. The typical damage done by a crazy step-mom... is absolutely nothing when compared to the damage a bad step-father can do. Remember while men and women both have a great capacity for evil... There is no argument that physical violence and abuse are much, much more prevalent among men.
Lizzie60 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Both male and female can do a lot of damage to kids... Just make sure that you introduce your date to your kids when you are absolutely sure there is a possibility for long term... Other than that, don't... It also depends on the age of the kids... but I wouldn't introduce any dates unless I am sure there is a possibility for long or medium term... ONS or just dating is not serious, therefore not worth the introductions. Be careful and make sure you know quite a lot about the guy.
CaliGuy Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 CaliGuy - You make an important point, too. We all (especially those who may be viewing things from the vantage point that AP has suggested) need to get our "baggage checked," if you will. We have to make sure that we are personally right with ourselves before we expect to find another healthy LTR in our futures. Yep. I got myself checked out and make sure I had all my ducks in a row before I started seriously dating again. And now that I am (nothing really serious, but I am going out on dates), I realize that I did a pretty decent job. What?! We all occasionally need a pat on the back.
Rooster_DAR Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 People over thirty having sex is gross Depends what they look like and how they've held up through the years I would think.
Author Meaplus3 Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 AP, Have you considered how you might feel when your husband moves on as well. His dating and perhaps eventual remarrying? Another female(s) influence on your kids? I really don't mean to sound terrible here, however I am wondering at this point who would even date him? Seriously of course I have considered this matter, especially since it would have an inpact on my children. AP:D:love:
Author Meaplus3 Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 AP, I think it is easier in that you hopefully know far better what you want in life and a partner, but it is harder in that the pool of available folks is generally full of people with more baggage than when you're younger. This cuts both ways -- All the women I see out there in their 30's have baggage of various types. But all of the men -- me included -- have baggage as well. This includes kids, ex's, child support payments, emotional issues, health issues. I wouldn't involve my kids at all unless things got serious. Good luck. Alterego, I would have to say that all of the above is probably very true. As for what I'm looking for in a partner, well I now know. I did not know when I was in my early 20's thought I did I guess, or perhap's it just changed?:oIi'm sure I not rare in this thinking. As for what I want in life, I have that pretty much figured out to! Thank's for your post! AP:)
LovesDog Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 dating in my 30's sux. mostly cause guys are too stupid to ask me out. they hang around, talk to me, smile, dope around, etc. then they walk me to my car. but they won't ask me for my number. the only guy with enough gall, i figured out he was married! and the guy that i'm completely swooning over is emotionally unavailable. arrrrg!!! mostly i live in a smaller to moderately sized area and there are not places to really meet men. so, good luck dating. when i do go out, it is generally lotsa fun! don't be discouraged
johnnyj Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 People over thirty having sex is gross That must either be a lame attempt at humor, or a perfect example that 6000+ posts didn't acquire you much intelligence.
mental_traveller Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 People over thirty having sex is gross That's why we try to do it with people in their 20s, to halve the grossness factor.
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