onmyownagain Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 A couple of days ago I found myself having to leave my wife, my fault. Anyway, I have been here almost constantly since, even when at work. I don't seem to be able to get stuck into my work or anything else for that matter, so constantly read all the threads on this site. Is this helping me? Had good advice but does reading all the others problems help me?
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 A couple of days ago I found myself having to leave my wife, my fault. Anyway, I have been here almost constantly since, even when at work. I don't seem to be able to get stuck into my work or anything else for that matter, so constantly read all the threads on this site. Is this helping me? Had good advice but does reading all the others problems help me? Have you lernt anything from being here? if so yes. It can get adictive tho so watch out lol..
blind_otter Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 I suspect you're using LS as an escape rather than a tool to cope. If you really need help, start a thread detailing your situation. You will get support and advice to help motivate you to make positive changes.
Author onmyownagain Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 I have already posted my situation on here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t140844/
blind_otter Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 I have already posted my situation on here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t140844/ Ah then nevermind. Carryon!
AdrianaLima Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Loveshack is helping you, if you're getting the help or the advice that you need to solve some of your problems. But if it isn't, and your consistently reading everybody else's problems, then what good is it?
Author onmyownagain Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 I am sure it is helping in some ways, but need things to take my mind of my problems and staying here makes me focus on my problems. Also, it is frustrating to see people like me who have messed up but can't see how it can be fixed when outside of the marital home. Depressing.
Lishy Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Hi again!!!!!!! To be honest I don't believe that obsessing on this site helps when you are feeling raw, lonely and heartbroken. I think it can make it worse and it stops you going out and living your life. I had a problem a few years ago and was on here constantly, it didnt help as the advice is so conflicting. Not all people think the same way so you get so many opinions that it spins your head. Some posters will know how you feel as they have been there but that does mean they are giving you good advice. You need to make you own choices and do what is best for you. Mind you, if you feel better reading other peoples problems then what harm is it? xx
Lee725 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I am in the same boat as you onmyownagain, i am just waiting for someone to tell me to bugger off! LOL. It isn't good though, because i have my own business and the days that i spend on here - i loose money. I think of LS like a constant friend who does not tell me to go away, (perhaps not healthy), i do tho maintain outside activities because i am not going to meet MR. Right here and my friends do like spending time with me. Oh, well give it a few years and i will be back on here answering with the same post as Lishy's
kimba Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 i think that for a lot of people on here, if they werent looking on Loveshack they would be calling their ex, wouldnt even know about NC, and would be saying and doing all sorts of stupid things trying to get someone back...
ninjaturtles Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I believe there are pros and cons of using Love shack...As there are with most things in life. Nevertheless, I believe that LS has a lot to offer. The truth is that there are a lot of things, people do post-breakups, which actually dissuade EX's from coming back. I admit, not everyone goes pyscho after breakups, but a lot of us beg, plead, make promises about 'changing', call and call, try to fix dates ..the list goes on. Had it not been for LS, I would have followed the same procedure after my most recent breakup. Infact, just before joining LS, I had already done some of these things...it only pushed him away from me and gave him room to disrespect me! I still cringe anytime I think of all the bull**** I went through. 2) Apart from teaching one the best and most dignified way to behave post-breakup, LS is like theraphy. We discuss with others who have been through worse things, share our problems, get advice etc. Its true that a lot of advice is conflicting and sometimes we should do we feel we should. After all, every situation is not the same therefore following a blanket rule NC, may not work for everyone. I know people who have gotten back after breakups. Yes, there was limited contact for a while, however, if (the dumpee) had cut all contact, ignored B (The dumper) completely, changed her phone number, etc..A and B may never have gotten back together. This is not to say that NC is a useless tool Infact it is very very useful, I am actually following the 'rule'..lol., But I believe that no 'story' is exactly the same as others, so when you have a problem, ask your friends who know more about your EX, come on LS and share your problem, read advice, compare facts of your story with facts of similar stories and decide upon the best sort of action you should take. If you have gained from the advice on here, I think LS has been useful to you.
HarryR Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I think what you said says it all , how true, some advice ya take with a grain of salt, and sound bitter,, on the other hand some posts opened my eyes to things I didnt know,,some posts made it seem hopeless, a week ago I didnt have one drop of hope, Today Im singing inside again from some stories Ive read and applied to my own situation. I have a date with my ex next week,,, her idea , . Had you asked me if LS would help us the last couple weeks ago I would have said not a chance. Today I cant say that, This site has been a blessing for me. Not all stories are the same. Today I actually have a glimmer of hope from what I have learned on LS. If I blow if from there then I only have myself to blame , ,Strick NC wasnt good on my part, but it sure worked when it was done to me. It forced me to take a step back and take a long hard look at myself and how I had been. ,When I read these posts I can see both sides of the story now, not just my side of the problem, It has helped me see the other persons thoughts and feelings too, something I obviuosly had not done before now.. helped me see the whole picture, . Im almost certain the problem I had that lead me to this site a month ago will end up being a blesssing even though it didnt feel that way when it first happened ,I think for our problems it will have made things stronger for us in the long run Thank God For Loveshack,..Good luck.
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