Cobra_X30 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Uh oh...Care to elaborate on this? Give us an example of something about the way men think that too many women aren't aware of. You've piqued my interest. Trust me... there are things your just better off not thinking about. This might have been written by a man but it describes many women to a T. If this article does not apply to a woman I don't know why she is getting offended. Wog, I'm not very happy with you for posting this. I know it wasnt really your intention, so technically it's not your fault... but still. This stupid fake story makes me want to punch walls.
lindya Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 (edited) Did you ever see "in the company of men" ? It was about a man that hated women so much, he decided he would pick the most vulnerable, defenseless woman he could find, woo her to the point of no return, then dump her so badly she would hopefully commit suicide. He chose a shy deaf woman. Yes, it was a grueling and hoirrble as it sounds. I didn't believe that was all men, although probability would show a few would be like that. In conclusion, I think that is why Shadow and I are rather daunted by how much you guys are all too willing to believe this *could* be a lot of women (except cobra) I saw that film a few years back. My take on it was that it was about one man exerting power over his unwitting friend (ie the friend who ended up falling for the deaf woman) and using a vulnerable woman as a tool in his game of one upmanship. The friend thought it was the two of them being bastards together. He failed to see, until the end, that he was being equally screwed by his friend. Those two were like extremes of the nice guy/bad boy scenario. The "nice guy" friend (he wasn't a nice guy - but he was the more emotionally vulnerable guy...) demonstrated genuine hostility against the woman. Presumably because she stirred feelings and conflicts in him. The "bad guy" wasn't hostile as such. He was just indifferent to, and completely lacking empathy for, her feelings on a level that came across as somewhat psychopathic. I thought they were like caricatures of what you do come across in real life. Edited January 10, 2008 by lindya
brothermartin Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I'm not very happy with you for posting this. I know it wasnt really your intention, so technically it's not your fault... but still. This stupid fake story makes me want to punch walls. It's your opinion that it's a fake story. You can't prove that it's fake no more than WOGGLE can prove it's real. If the same story were written about a man, I wonder if it would seem fake to women then.
Florida Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I saw that film a few years back. My take on it was that it was about one man exerting power over his unwitting friend (ie the friend who ended up falling for the deaf woman) and using a vulnerable woman as a tool in his game of one upmanship. The friend thought it was the two of them being bastards together. He failed to see, until the end, that he was being equally screwed by his friend. Those two were like extremes of the nice guy/bad boy scenario. The "nice guy" friend (he wasn't a nice guy - but he was the more emotionally vulnerable guy...) demonstrated genuine hostility against the woman. Presumably because she stirred feelings and conflicts in him. The "bad guy" wasn't hostile as such. He was just indifferent on a level that came across as somewhat psychopathic. I thought they were like caricatures of what you do come across in real life. That's an accurate read. When I read your post all the little details came back, funny how as time passes only the essential remains, and all the nuances that defined it are also stripped away. I don't think I can watch it again though, so that will be all my memory lane ponderings
lindya Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 That's an accurate read. When I read your post all the little details came back, funny how as time passes only the essential remains, and all the nuances that defined it are also stripped away. I don't think I can watch it again though, so that will be all my memory lane ponderings Found a review for you to encourage the ponderings. http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,288932,00.html The following quote reminds me of someone. I just can't think who. You know when you rack your brains, then later it comes to you when you're least expecting it? I expect I'll wake up in the middle of the night with a start. ''Women,'' Chad hisses. ''Inside they're all the same -- meat and gristle and hatred, just simmering. And I for one have had it with their s -- -, know what I mean?''
Florida Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Found a review for you to encourage the ponderings. http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,288932,00.html The following quote reminds me of someone. I just can't think who. You know when you rack your brains, then later it comes to you when you're least expecting it? I expect I'll wake up in the middle of the night with a start. '' Wow, thanks Lindya ! Yeah that sounds familiar, if only because I have so many snippets of misogynistic rantings from random philosophers and whatnot in my head. One that I remember, not verbatim though, was : "look at her, hanging on to his arm like an emotional deadweight. The very act of hanging on to the virtous chap was indicative of the female pulling down the valiant male with her weakness and intrinsically vampirific nature. Men should only keep in the company of other men, to avoid contamination and being dragged down." I have volumes of hate speak in my head, from men against women, throughout the ages. It is hard to not internalize it sometimes. After that i didn't want to hold on to my BF's arm in case someone thought I was *dragging him down* haha
Racquel Colette Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 The other stuff is just crap, but the part that bothered me about this is the notion that a woman is "washed up" because she is in her 40's and has no chance of being happy after that if she is not married. How antiquated is that idea? Tons of women get married and lead happy lives in their 40's and tons of women in their 40's are not overweight and unattractive.
Cobra_X30 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Wow, thanks Lindya ! Yeah that sounds familiar, if only because I have so many snippets of misogynistic rantings from random philosophers and whatnot in my head. One that I remember, not verbatim though, was : "look at her, hanging on to his arm like an emotional deadweight. The very act of hanging on to the virtous chap was indicative of the female pulling down the valiant male with her weakness and intrinsically vampirific nature. Men should only keep in the company of other men, to avoid contamination and being dragged down." I have volumes of hate speak in my head, from men against women, throughout the ages. It is hard to not internalize it sometimes. After that i didn't want to hold on to my BF's arm in case someone thought I was *dragging him down* haha Oh man I just remembered that movie! The main character reminds me so much of an old friend of mine that it's sick. one of our mutual friends had a big crush on this girl. This guy, wood her for all he was worth, completly took advantage, and dumped her something awefull. At first our entire friend group was so upset with him... but he convinced us that it was all to show our mutual friend what kind of girl she was. He is to this day the most charming person I've ever met.
Florida Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Found a review for you to encourage the ponderings. http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,288932,00.html The following quote reminds me of someone. I just can't think who. You know when you rack your brains, then later it comes to you when you're least expecting it? I expect I'll wake up in the middle of the night with a start. '' Ahahaha sorry I missed that the 1st time around Cobra- me thinks your charming friend may have had a thing for the fellow he was trying to keep the girl from
mental_traveller Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I'm sorry, I don't see how that could be a real person, it's way too much of a cliche.. I googled the title and it is not even attached to an author, it's just something given to a person on an anti-feminism website by "a friend." I'll bet anything a man wrote it. It sounds like something right out of a propaganda machine, nobody's life is like that. Agree. This was written by a man, I am almost certain of it.
a4a Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Uh oh...Care to elaborate on this? Give us an example of something about the way men think that too many women aren't aware of. You've piqued my interest. Here ya go.......... http://marriageresourcecenter.org/videogallery/4/med/VideoWidget8.htm
Lizzie60 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Here ya go.......... http://marriageresourcecenter.org/videogallery/4/med/VideoWidget8.htm That was hilarious.. I especially loved the 'nothing box'... but I was aware of it..
Author Woggle Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 A woman that respects the nothing box is a rare find and the less a woman fights it the more a man wants to step out of it.
a4a Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 That was hilarious.. I especially loved the 'nothing box'... but I was aware of it.. My H has an immense nothing box and only one other with a single plastic army dude in it. Could explain why many men cannot do two things at once.
Cobra_X30 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 My H has an immense nothing box and only one other with a single plastic army dude in it. Could explain why many men cannot do two things at once. Plastic Army Dude?... Are you sure it's not a barbie doll and tea set?
a4a Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Plastic Army Dude?... Are you sure it's not a barbie doll and tea set? No that would be too complicated!
Lizzie60 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 My H has an immense nothing box and only one other with a single plastic army dude in it. Could explain why many men cannot do two things at once. Gosh... I spilled my coffee in my screen... a4a... you're the best.
a4a Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Gosh... I spilled my coffee in my screen... a4a... you're the best. ehh...... he laughed too when I told him my theory of "what's in his head".
Lizzie60 Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 ehh...... he laughed too when I told him my theory of "what's in his head". You did!!!!... hahahaha I will remember that theory.. I might use it. Thanks for that video.. I will watch it again..
serial muse Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 (edited) If you believe that the story wasn't written by one woman, that's your opinion. But unless you can prove that, no one can say otherwise. It's your opinion that it's a fake story. You can't prove that it's fake no more than WOGGLE can prove it's real. If the same story were written about a man, I wonder if it would seem fake to women then. Easily verified, brothermartin, provided that you actually want to know the truth. There's no opinion about it, I'm afraid. As I already said, it was written by a man, who in fact confessed to it outright. He wasn't even pretending that a woman wrote it, in fact; he wrote it and posted it to a message board as a fantasy of what he wished such a woman would say and do. It's other people who seized it and started passing it around the internet minus the attribution that have turned it into the minor internet event that it currently is. It's all there for you online. Google "zammotheweird" and the nice guy forum (you'll have to sign up though, if you want to read the forum posts) and that'll get you to the source. Not sure I wanted to post that before, since that nice guy forum is seriously anything but ("nice" isn't the word for it) but hey, people ought to know the truth. So, go look for it. Because some of us have met women who have at least one of the attitudes or viewpoints contained in the story. Not all women are like that and, who knows, maybe no one is that extreme, but there is an element of truth to it otherwise no one would have believed it from the beginning. As I said earlier, of course pieces of a story about a selfish person are going to ring true to anyone who's had to deal with someone like that. Every time I zoom by the OM/OW board and read about a MM who did x y or z I find myself thinking about just how terrible and selfish and asinine people can be (seeing as I'm a former BS), and good God, it all sounds so familiar, are they talking about my ex?? And then of course you start to wonder if all [fill in the blank] are that way, and how to avoid being hurt by those [fill in the blank] ever again. A good offense is the best defense, perhaps? It's incredibly tempting to go down that road, isn't it? Slippery, slippery slope. But see, then I realize that I'm being irrational, and that it's really just that I was hurt by one guy and am afraid of it happening again. And I need to get over it. End of story. Or at least, it should be. Btw, I love the word "frankenstory." Did you just coin that? Thanks. I have to be honest, I probably did hear it somewhere before, but I like it too. So picturesque! Edited January 12, 2008 by serial muse
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Alot of posters said Woggle's letter wasnt genuine, The one I found is and if you doubt what I fi-ound you can go to survivinginfidelity.com and see it for yourselves!!! Goddamit! It's been a while since I have been on SI. And I want to share some thoughts with those WS's who haven't ended their A's yet. When I finally ended my A, it felt like the most difficult thing I ever had to do. I was really devistated. I swear I never believed what any of the WS's here told me. I never thought I would get over him. I never thought the triggers would stop. I never thought I'd stop crying. I truly believed I was in love with him. It's been a year. And oh, I am very much over him. I have absolutely no triggers. I can't believe I ever "thought" I was in love with him. And although I do still cry, it isn't over him. It's what I have learned, or actually lost, because of my selfishness. I thought I was so smart. I thought no one knew. OMG, now I look back wondering how I could have ever been so stupid?!?! I lost my marriage. I couldn't look at my H. I couldn't face the hurt I caused him. So I ended my 15 year marriage. My D became final last month. Looking at it now, I don't think my marriage was that bad. I probably could have put in more effort. I could have tried. I lost a career that I loved and worked hard for, because of my addiction to an affair. I didn't have the time to do my job well. And when I was let go during a staff reduction, I was glad...I had more time to spend with OM. I lost my home that was my stability. My dad did that concrete work in the back yard, after he retired. No one else will ever treasure the sweat he put into it like I do. My daughter and I built a brick planter one year when I was in a cast, no one will ever know the story. My H and his friend put in the arbor. I loved that arbor. Many family functions and precious memories were spent in that home. And I lost it. You need a double income in CA. And although I found work right away, I will never make the money I used to. The market was at it's worst when my home was finally put on the market. I thought it was sold after 6 months, but the buyer fell through. And it may be forclosed on. I lost pets. My H and I had to share the pets, so he kept two. And I miss them every single day. I lost the respect of friends and family. I didn't think anyone knew. When in fact, every one knows. I thought the worst was when my dad made comments to me about it. I've never really responded. What can you say when your dad, who you adore and who has always adored you, tells you that you weren't raised that way. What was worse was just a couple of months ago, when my son made some pretty harsh statements to me. He's about to be 20. He didn't have much of a mom during his high school years. I'm trying to guide him now and keep him on track with his education. And he throws back at me, "Why do you care now? You didn't care when I was in high school. You didn't care when I was alone, sitting in my room. You were too busy on the phone with your friend". Ouch, that really, really hurts. That is what I cry over now. And this hurts MUCH more than ending an affair. There really is no comparison. None! The person I love and treasure more than anything in this world, I have affected the most...my precious son. I was supposed to protect him. I was supposed to be there for him, but I wasn't. I was busy, and I was foolish to think that a teenager wouldn't notice. Because he did. And now I have to fix it. But first I have to figure out how. I used to say I would have the A all over again. All I can say now is, HELL NO!!!!! I wish I could go back and fix it. I wish I could take back every lie and every selfish act on my part. I wish I could give my son his childhood back. But, I can't. And I live with this on a daily basis. And that is real! It's damn real!!!
Author Woggle Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 This woman has nobody to blame but herself. I bet she felt so empowered and liberated during the affair and her friends were egging her on.
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 This woman has nobody to blame but herself. I bet she felt so empowered and liberated during the affair and her friends were egging her on. That's a possibility but I bet she is remorseful about it now. Her son just laid into her, damn!
Author Woggle Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 That's a possibility but I bet she is remorseful about it now. Her son just laid into her, damn! I hope he grows and decides to never marry a woman like his mother. Nothing will create a misogynist more than a man being betrayed by the one woman he is supposed to trust.
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