nextel Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Do you ever wonder how MM treats his wife? MM treats me like a queen, literally, seriously. He takes my calls day or night, busy or not. He comes over to my place and spends time with me everday, but only spends nights when his kids are not at his home. He makes sure I have everything I need in the home. He takes me to different outings, gives me his credit card to go shopping for the both of us, pays the bills, gives me money etc etc. The list is endless. He just left a few minutes ago to go home. He will be back tomorrow and stay with me until Monday. Does anyone on here ever wonder....if MM treats you so good, how does he treat the W? I mean, I dont feel like he is a MM seeing the amount of time he spends with me, the things he does for me, and what he wants to do for me. This kind of treatment makes me believe that he is mine to lose. Just wondering.....
imstunned Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 I used to wonder about this all the time. Then I relaised how stupid it was of me to wonder about it. My ex mm treats his wife like crap because he screws around behind her back. Simple.
totallyfedup Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Do you ever wonder how MM treats his wife? MM treats me like a queen, literally, seriously. He takes my calls day or night, busy or not. He comes over to my place and spends time with me everday, but only spends nights when his kids are not at his home. He makes sure I have everything I need in the home. He takes me to different outings, gives me his credit card to go shopping for the both of us, pays the bills, gives me money etc etc. The list is endless. He just left a few minutes ago to go home. He will be back tomorrow and stay with me until Monday. Does anyone on here ever wonder....if MM treats you so good, how does he treat the W? I mean, I dont feel like he is a MM seeing the amount of time he spends with me, the things he does for me, and what he wants to do for me. This kind of treatment makes me believe that he is mine to lose. Just wondering..... How long have you been with your MM? Just wondering.. In any case, my guess is that he probably treats his W even "better". That's what they usually do.. in their attempt to "mask" their guilt and make themselves feel better by being able to tell themselves that they've taken care of everything the W needs, thus giving him full reign to satisfy HIS own needs. That's what my ex-MM told me...although he spun it in such a way that made it seem like HE was making the ultimate sacrifice. But like what imstunned said.. in truth, he's treating you both like crap. By not giving his wife 100% even though that's what he vowed to do, and by making you his "secret", something that can never see the light of day.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 If he is doing all of that, and getting no complaints from the W then I would have to wonder if she is busy with some side action of her own and doesn't really register (or care really) what her H does on his own time. Either that, or he has had OW before, and she is just waiting it out. Or, perhaps she is content with what she does have, not caring about the OW type stuff he does with you as long as it is her he comes home to when all is said and done. Hard to say, really. Is he planning on divorcing?
cj1988 Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 I know my H treated me like pure CRAP when he was in an EA.....he did not care about my feelings, called her all the time, NEVER called me.....told her how much he loved her and barely mustered the three words to me.......hope that tells you what you have....a cheater and a liar !
frannie Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 (edited) Hm, I did wonder about it from time to time, but didn't dwell on it. After all, I have no real way of knowing. Even the glimpses I had of their life together didn't really allow an accurate picture. Just think of any couple you know, no matter how well: can you truly say you really know the ins and outs of their relationship? Do you really know if one or the other of them are happy, no matter how it appears from the outside. A lot of it is down to personal preference and idiosyncracy. One woman might love having doors opened for her, another look on it as 'sexism': one woman might need constant telephone calls, another see it as an unwanted intrusion. So, while I heard MM and his W talk on the phone once (not a comfortable situation for me, but it was the middle of the night), and to me it sounded like there was no affection on either part, just matter-of-factness, what does that mean? At the time I took it as well, they don't sound like WE do on the phone, but so what..? He's always said he never got or gave even hugs to his W... perhaps she never wanted them. I have no way of knowing what she finds loving or good attention. Edited January 9, 2008 by frannie adding
precious1357 Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 WOW, I never have been treated that good...married, other woman, girlfriend whatever...
justice Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Before I divorced my H, and while he was involved in his affair, he treated me like crap. He was cold and insulting, didn't seem to care if I lived or died or blew up the house trying to get through his "fog". He treated the OW alot better than me. Until he threw her under the bus when I told him there would be no more of us as long as he continued seeing her. No more me paying the bills while he paid hers, no more me keeping the house spotless while he was out playing behind my back, no more house, because it was in my name. I divorced his sorry ass and he no longer has the ow and lives with momma. Goes to show you, what goes around, comes around.
PLAYBRAT Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Hmmm if this guy is able to spend so much time with you...day or night, lets you use is credit cards, etc.....then where is his W???? I agree with another poster....I am sure he treats his wife well especially if he's screwing around. A lot of times they over compensate out of guilt. Hard to say without knowing them personally.
OWoman Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Do you ever wonder how MM treats his wife? MM treats me like a queen, literally, seriously. He takes my calls day or night, busy or not. He comes over to my place and spends time with me everday, but only spends nights when his kids are not at his home. He makes sure I have everything I need in the home. He takes me to different outings, gives me his credit card to go shopping for the both of us, pays the bills, gives me money etc etc. The list is endless. He just left a few minutes ago to go home. He will be back tomorrow and stay with me until Monday. Does anyone on here ever wonder....if MM treats you so good, how does he treat the W? I mean, I dont feel like he is a MM seeing the amount of time he spends with me, the things he does for me, and what he wants to do for me. This kind of treatment makes me believe that he is mine to lose. Just wondering..... Your MM sounds rather like mine. Mine is so used to abuse from his W that just being treated NORMALLY, with respect, is such a bonus for him that he falls over himself to spoil me. How he treated his W - well, I've heard enough to have a pretty strong idea. Financially, everything was separate, so his money was his own to spend, as hers was hers. She shops herself to death, filling the house with rubbish, while he bought the important stuff like food, heating, fuel. She demanded extravagant gifts from him for occasions, and would humiliate him if it wasn't exactly what she wanted. So - no spontaneous gifts for her. Family holidays were hell, so mostly he'd take the kids, and a couple of times she would. On the rare occasion they went together, they'd go to some crappy resort where she could shop and he'd spend time with the kids. Very different from the holidays we enjoy together. Home life was pretty dire. If the kids weren't around and he wasn't busy doing chores, he'd spend it holed up in his study chatting to me, if his W was around, but they pretty much had a schedule where if he was in town, she'd be away and vice versa. She would try to force him to watch TV with her. He'd get bored and go to bed (and then sit in his bedroom chatting to me). She'd try to force him to go shopping with her, but he'd go in to work rather, and chat to me from there. He'd visit his family - she wasn't welcome there - or socialise with his friends or colleagues, where she'd left under a cloud so preferred to avoid. Their interests were entirely separate so she'd go and do her thing, and he his. Even where they shared an interest, like belonging to a gym, they'd go to separate ones. All in all, a very different life from the time we spend together.
Author nextel Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 I was not trying to make this post about me but since there have been some questions raised, I will respond. Yes, MM has told his wife that their M is over and he wants out. She is aware that he is seeing someone because he told her. When he spends nights with me, he does not go home. She has complained that he never takes her out. There is no secret that MM is seeing me. But Frannie makes a valid point...."Just think of any couple you know, no matter how well: can you truly say you really know the ins and outs of their relationship". All I know is what he tells me and how good he treats me. I can only go based on that. One things for sure..... I am having the time of my life with him.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Yes, MM has told his wife that their M is over and he wants out. She is aware that he is seeing someone because he told her. When he spends nights with me, he does not go home. She has complained that he never takes her out. There is no secret that MM is seeing me. What are his reasons for staying married, or at the very least cohabitating? I only see reasons to get divorced, or at least to separate and move out. 1
Author nextel Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 What are his reasons for staying married, or at the very least cohabitating? I only see reasons to get divorced, or at least to separate and move out. Previous posts explain my situation a little more but I will respond any ways. His house, his children and he has asked her to move out and she has refused.
Lizzie60 Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Good for you... My MMs are also treating me very good... But in my case, I have to say, that they are treating their wives and kids very good... they are all making good money so their family are not missing anything... I know their wife and kids are happy and it's all good, that's the main thing... I wouldn't go out with a guy who doesn't treat his w or kids right. I would resent him... he'd be a 'loser' in my eyes... I only like strong, good, caring men... who are good to people around them.
Author nextel Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 Good for you... My MMs are also treating me very good... But in my case, I have to say, that they are treating their wives and kids very good... they are all making good money so their family are not missing anything... I know their wife and kids are happy and it's all good, that's the main thing... I wouldn't go out with a guy who doesn't treat his w or kids right. I would resent him... he'd be a 'loser' in my eyes... I only like strong, good, caring men... who are good to people around them. Thanks. But I am not looking to be the OW. My intention is to get this man and keep him.
Lizzie60 Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Thanks. But I am not looking to be the OW. My intention is to get this man and keep him. You will... just give him some time... Good luck!
Author nextel Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 You will... just give him some time... Good luck! He has till the end of this month. After that....we go our separate ways.
Lizzie60 Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 He has till the end of this month. After that....we go our separate ways. Oh WOW... he's on an ultimatum...
Author nextel Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 Oh WOW... he's on an ultimatum... I think that he will manage though. He does not want to let me go.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 His wife sounds like she might be staying rooted in come hell or high water. How does he plan to force his wife to move out?
child_of_isis Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 I don't think anyone can be forced to leave the marital home until it goes through court. Man...I am wondering how you can have any respect for a man who kicks his wife out and takes the children's mother from them. His house...His children? Not according to the law.... Mothers need their children. They need their own stable home. Ack! This is nasty stuff.
Author nextel Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 His wife sounds like she might be staying rooted in come hell or high water. How does he plan to force his wife to move out? Look, we are all adults here. If a man wants to be with you there is nothing in this world that will stop him. A man can move mountains if he wants to be with a woman. But if a man does not want you, there is nothing you can do or say to make him stay.
Author nextel Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 (edited) I don't think anyone can be forced to leave the marital home until it goes through court. Man...I am wondering how you can have any respect for a man who kicks his wife out and takes the children's mother from them. His house...His children? Not according to the law.... Mothers need their children. They need their own stable home. Ack! This is nasty stuff. Thats why it would have been wiser to read previous posts. True enough, no one can be forced to leave the marital home. However, like he stated, if she wants to continue to force things, he is prepared to move until the courts make a ruling. They are not her children, the children have their own mother. They have been M for less than 2 years. Yes the children need a stable home which is why he does not want to move. The courts will rule that she moves out (if she decides to go to court). He is prepared to give her alimoney. Edited January 9, 2008 by nextel
Meaplus3 Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Do you ever wonder how MM treats his wife? MM treats me like a queen, literally, seriously. He takes my calls day or night, busy or not. He comes over to my place and spends time with me everday, but only spends nights when his kids are not at his home. He makes sure I have everything I need in the home. He takes me to different outings, gives me his credit card to go shopping for the both of us, pays the bills, gives me money etc etc. The list is endless. He just left a few minutes ago to go home. He will be back tomorrow and stay with me until Monday. Does anyone on here ever wonder....if MM treats you so good, how does he treat the W? I mean, I dont feel like he is a MM seeing the amount of time he spends with me, the things he does for me, and what he wants to do for me. This kind of treatment makes me believe that he is mine to lose. Just wondering..... I wondered that alot while in the ea with mm. Since we all hung out as couples at one point I sort of got a feel for how he treated her and to me it looked like there was not a whole lot of communication. One big thing I did notice was he told her to be quite alot, almost like her opinion did not count,that made me believe he was very controlling of her. AP:)
Author nextel Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 I wondered that alot while in the ea with mm. Since we all hung out as couples at one point I sort of got a feel for how he treated her and to me it looked like there was not a whole lot of communication. One big thing I did notice was he told her to be quite alot, almost like her opinion did not count,that made me believe he was very controlling of her. AP:) Oh, thats unfortunate.
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