sedgwick Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 (edited) So yesterday I turned my book in to my agent, she read it, and today she sent it to my editor. This is what I have wanted my whole entire life. This should, therefore, if one is to extrapolate, be the best day of my life. But what did I write about in my journal today? Him. What did I write about in my journal yesterday? Him. What did I do to celebrate? Took myself to a movie (The Orphanage, scary, recommended), and sat and cried over him in the dark. Why am I so pathetic? It would really be nice to be able to enjoy this, but instead I've been crying for two days. Sat in my therapist's office yesterday and said, "I turned in my book," and then for the rest of the hour I talked about him and cried. I really do want to get over him...that is, if I can't marry him and make him happy for the rest of his days. Why do I feel like a loser, today of all days? Why am I STILL f**king beating myself up for not being a f**king musician? I'm starting to get really angry with myself. I should be able to be happy today, dammit. On a positive note, a friend came over last night and brought the Simpsons movie, and I laughed until my sides hurt. Highly recommended for post-breakup pain. ("Try to throw something away, Cletis!" "Ah cain't! Ah just cain't!") Edited January 9, 2008 by sedgwick
s_n_d Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Atleast you didnt text message your ex saying, "Baby, I miss you". What the hell is wrong with ME? Go out with your friends and celebrate with them instead of celebrating it all alone. You deserve it after your success.
Author sedgwick Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 Aw, snd, you just had a moment of weakness! You have to forgive yourself. I know it's hard. Did he respond? From the things you write, you seem very intelligent and sweet. Dare I say this guy doesn't deserve you? I mean, what is wrong with them that they have awesome women who love them so much and they're too blind to realize how rare and special that is? Sometimes I wonder if men hear all the time, "I love you totally for exactly who you are" -- like, do they just hear it so much that it doesn't mean anything to them? Because I have had exactly one person say that to me, ever, and besides being my ex of six years, he's been my best friend for 13. I treasure the fact that he said that to me. I mean, that's something even my FAMILY has never said. And I said that to my most recent ex and all he said was, "Sorry I can't give you what you want." I wish there was such a thing as a man who could actually appreciate being told that.
blon_dee Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 I'm sorry you're feeling like this too... It sux... Why are men such B*stards!?????? Sorry... im sure there are some good ones out there, why do we keep meeting the BAD ones???!!!!
frd150 Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Congrats sedgwick. What an achievment! A musician (as you previously described him) vs. an intelligent writer with a book thats about to be published? Hmmm. Stop beating yourself up over being who you are,we all think your awsome. Oh, and for the record this is one guy who loved her for who she was/is but she left me anyway.
lovesparis Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 sedgwick, you have such an accomplishment under your belt, i'm proud of you, and i'm sure that many of the posters here are proud of you. i'm sure that your family and your friends are proud of you. i'm sure your publisher and editor are proud of you. yet... you're looking for approval from the ONLY person who doesn't want to give it to you. it's funny how we want approval from the people who don't want to give it most, or from the people who we shouldn't want it from. i know your pain. i know how all of our amazing traits and qualities seem less when we're told we're not good enough for one stupid person. i don't know your ex, but he really sounds like a jerk. but the reasons you love him are yours, and not one of us can tell you not to love him, regardless of his behavior. i want to tell you that you're awesome! that you don't deserve to be treated like he did! that you'll find someone who is much better suited to you than he ever was, even if you don't think that person out there exists!
mistie03 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I recently broke up with a guy that I had been with for almost 8 years. It was painful. I cried for a few days, but when I really thought hard about it, I had a moment of clarity. The relationship is just really bad in so many ways. Maybe I was just grieving over what I hoped he would be. Maybe I was just beating myself up for getting in too deep when I feel that I should have seen it before now. I am want a loving, caring relationship. I believe that I will have it. Closing the chapter on this one is the first step. There's nothing wrong with you. Feel the pain and move on to a better life. It's waiting for you. It's out there.....
dkny27 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Go out with your friends and celebrate with them instead of celebrating it all alone. You deserve it after your success. I agree...go celebrate and have a good time
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