randuff Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 To have feelings for someone yet still be in love with someone else? I met a girl. She is everything I would have ordered if there were such a thing as a girlfriend factory... She is intelligent (has her Masters) very sweet, polite, SEXY (covered in tattoos yummy,) fun to talk to, dirty (in a good way,) hates liars and cheaters, has a good job, makes good money, has her head on straight and knows what she wants, has passions in life and I can't stop thinking about her. However I still feel like I am in love with my EX..... I don't want to be, I want to be free of her, I am "in like" with the new girl This is all so confusiating :/
D-Lish Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 And oh so natural.... My suggestion to you is to take things slow with the new girl and enjoy the process of getting to know her. Eventually, those nagging feelings for your ex will diminish as long as you allow yourself to be open to the new things this other woman can offer.
Author randuff Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 I don't want to hurt the new girl in any way and was making sure that this was a normal feeling. I mean I still do love the EX but I don't honestly think it would ever work out between us anyways.... At least until she changed, BIG TIME.
oppath Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 It's natural but if you are in any form of contact with the ex, I'd suggest you cease and desist. It's only fair to the new girl that you give her the best chance you can muster, so that means making room in your life (head and heart) for her. Best of luck. I think most people are on the spectrum of having feelings for an ex until they meet someone new who intrigues them. What matters is where on that spectrum you put yourself, not just in terms of feelings, but in terms of where the new person can fit. Make room and don't say serious things ("I love you; I think you may be the one") unless you really mean it. Move slow but not too slow.
D-Lish Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 If you're still holding onto the hope that your ex may change... you're still holding onto the hope that r reconciliation is possible. I've done this too.... met a great guy, he seemed to be everything I wanted in a man- kind, caring, loving, attentive and faithful... but I allowed my nagging feelings for my ex to sabotage that relationship. When something really good is right in front of you, and you find yourself pining for someone in your past who was so abviously wrong for you.... you have to ask yourself why that might be the case. You did mention that you would only get back with your ex if some major changes took place- this is saying that you haven't yet closed the door on your past... I think it's really important to take a good hard look how holding onto your ex helps you. Life is too short to hold onto to people that bring us pain. If you want to be open to this new relationship- you truly have to be open to it.... not halfway involved while you wonder if your ex has the capability to change. I let some really awesome guys fall to the wayside while I pined for an ex who wasn't worthy of my emotional energy.... I regret a lot of those decisions to walk away from some great guys.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Of course its possible ! Try to focus on freeing your mind from your ex first. You dont want to be in the situation where you and your ex rekindle and you and this new girl is getting hot and heavy.... and boom! you are in love with two women
Author randuff Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 I am in NC with the EX. Made a flub the other day by texting that I missed her but ignored the response and went back to NC. I don't think that the EX will change enough for me to consider reconciliation anyways. Since I have met this new girl I can honestly say that the feelings for the EX have started to diminish. I have never in the 8 months that we have been split up felt the way that I do. I can really tell that I am moving on. It doesn't bother me to know that she is with another guy and I don't sit and wonder what she is up to. Instead I think about the new girl. I guess that is a good thing.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 randuff the new girl sounds great! Just take it slow and steady and carry on nc with your ex. Of course you still have feelings fr the ex and may for quite a while. Just don't lead on the new girl.
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