TerryTeardrop Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Please help me out here I ended it with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago as he did something that I could not forgive. I know it is over as I feel it is in my heart. I do not even miss him This is the question I have told him it is over, I have not called him and dont answer most calls and then I feel bad so I pick up and he acts like nothing is wrong and I just grunt answers at him. He even asked me what was wrong earlier and I told him he knows what is wrong so why ask silly questions. He said he will call back later when my children are asleep. My problem is that I feel TERRIBLE ignoring him. He is a good person, he is just not for me. How do I stop him calling as he is not taking any notice of what I say Please dont tell me just to tell him straight and then ignore him as I just cant do that. It makes me feel awful. I even get panic attacks when I ignore him We have been dating nearly 2 years and I am 37 and he is 40
Author TerryTeardrop Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 I do not want to go into the why's and hows of the breakup as it is long. I just want to know how to get it through to him that we are through
Star Gazer Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Well, the WHY might be why he doesn't get it. Perhaps he doesn't think the offense merits the end of your relationship.
oppath Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 He also needs to be told "you are just not for me." The offense, and specifically, the reasons you gave him for the breakup ARE relevant. My ex told friends "he's a good guy, but I'm over it. He's not the one." She told me "if I wanted a relationship with anyone, it would be with you. This has nothing to do with a lack of feelings." Obviously, that would cause some confusion. I'd take the hard line and tell him "this is over, not because of that offense, but because my feelings for you haven't continued to progress, and I doubt we are the right people for each other to make this relationship work. I think you are a great person and I value what we had, but it is over. I am sorry for hurting you, but I am confident that my feelings on this will not change." That's all you can do.
Star Gazer Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Oh...DUH! He's MARRIED! You were dating a married man! Of course he's going to continue to chase you.
oppath Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Yep. What does he have to lose? Threaten to tell his wife if he doesn't leave you alone.
timjones0674 Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Please help me out here How do I stop him calling as he is not taking any notice of what I say Please dont tell me just to tell him straight and then ignore him as I just cant do that. It makes me feel awful. I even get panic attacks when I ignore him We have been dating nearly 2 years and I am 37 and he is 40 The reason why he keeps calling is because he is still holding out hope. You must at some point end this hope. One way would be to just start getting more distant. Dont ignore his calls, but just be slower to respond. Over time, get slower and slower... Another way would be to inject in the conversation that here is an outstanding guy and it is unfortunate that the two of you were not meant to be. Meaning, he must accept that it is over and will never be so that he can start the process of healing... Good Luck!
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