MarkWA65 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 So I have been conversing with a woman on eharmony. I am 42 and single, never been married. She is 38 and has a 14yo son, she has been divorced for 10 years. She lives within 30 miles of me and I find her physically attractive based on the picture of her on her profile. We have gone through the basic questions about past relationships, favorite foods, favorite places to visit, family, pets, jobs, religion, smoking, drinking, and even views on marrige. I guess what I would like to know is ... what else should I discuss via the email system at eharmony or do you think we are ready to start conversing by phone? What questions would you ask? Thanx --M
SeraBella Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 how long have you been contacting each other via eharmony?
Author MarkWA65 Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 We have been in contact for 5 days.
tanbark813 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 If you've have more than about 4 or 5 email exchanges I'd just suggest to meet up somewhere.
Art_Critic Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 If you've have more than about 4 or 5 email exchanges I'd just suggest to meet up somewhere. I agree... meet women early on after you have gotten comfortable.. That way you can get the whole " Connection, or Physical Connection" thing out of the way right away.. Nothing is worse than to spend weeks emailing someone only to meet up and you can't stand them.. or they can't stand you.. or just no connection.. You walk away disappointed that you wasted 2 weeks of your time and wished you had met earlier.
SeraBella Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Like everything with dating, there is no steady, hardfast rule with this. You could continue to email and ask how her day was and maybe throw in a brief story about something funny, cute, interesting, etc. that happened in your day, but if you're feeling like you are into her, maybe it is time to move on to the phone. When I tried online dating sites each guy I talked with was a different situation. Some it was just two or three emails and I was ready to step it up. Others it was a month or longer and I still wasn't ready to give them my phone number, and still, there were others I couldn't even stand emailing. How do you feel about it? Are you into her, do you feel like she's into you? You could always just present it as asking if she'd be interested in talking on the phone soon. Her response can dictate your actions. If she responds positively, then perfect. If she feels it's too soon, wants to wait a little longer, or takes a while to respond, then just keep emailing if you are still interested in her. She may be wanting to take things slowly. But also, keep in mind that she may not ever be interested in that. What have you got to lose by asking, though? If she's not interested you can move on, and if she is interested you can start the progression into a potential relationship. Good luck with this! Let us know what you decide!
Author MarkWA65 Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 SeraBella, I do feel that I am into her. Her replies to my questions have been fun to read and she has made me laugh out loud a few times when she was being funny. She had a hectic day yesterday but stayed up rather late to write back to me so I think she might into me a bit. I will mail her later and ask about her day. Thanx --MJ
SeraBella Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I probably agree with Tan and Art on meeting early on, as well. If I am into someone, I know that right away. And the ones that I delay meeting are the ones I feel pretty strongly I won't connect with if we would meet. And, although I am ashamed to admit this, the only time I have ever met one of those that I delayed meeting was in a moment of loneliness and I knew he wouldn't reject me...but it was a complete disaster (he showed up drunk, continued to drink all night, couldn't function or walk without assistance, got mad I wouldn't spend the night, and then couldn't figure out why i didn't want to come over to watch the football game that weekend). Online dating is nice in that you get to know someone better than you would if meeting them in a bar, or anywhere, and just giving them your number. And the anonymous nature of it all makes it easier to open up. But it, obvioiusly, lacks the way to know if you connect physically. So if you think she's up for meeting you, give her a call. If that goes well, ask her out! No need to delay if it feels right.
Green Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 with internet dating its good to meet up in person early one. It doesn't have to be a big thing, maybe meet her at a book store and drink some coffee and talk about the books
Author MarkWA65 Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 In my email to her this morning I included my phone number and said that when she is comfortable doing so she can feel free to call me and gave her the times I would be home. So I am hoping to hear from her soon --M
Author MarkWA65 Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 I got a reply and she is going to call me this evening --M
Author MarkWA65 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 We talked for almost an hour and I think the conversation went really well. I asked her if she would like to meet me in person and she said she would. I told her that I think it is best if she pick a place where she is comfortable and a time when we can meet and she agreed. She was heading off to play Volleyball and she said she would write me where and when or give me a call later to talk again. I told her the invitation to chat is always open and I look forward to hearing from her again and meeting with her. She seems like such a nice person that I really hope we "click" when we finally get to meet --M
bozwa Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 All I can say is go with your gut. I met my bf online (just as I was about to give up on the whole thing because, after coming across wierdo after wierdo, I thought the online dating thing was a complete waste of my time). Most of the guys I talked with, emailed with or whatever, I talked with for WEEKS or MONTHS before I would even consider meeting them. It just wasn't in the cards for me to meet people from the internet that quickly. When I met my bf, I think I met him in person within, what, a week? LOL I just knew it was time to meet him. If she's feeling you pretty hard, she'll meet you. And soon. And a year later, my bf and I are now living together and discussing marriage.
bozwa Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 We talked for almost an hour and I think the conversation went really well. I asked her if she would like to meet me in person and she said she would. I told her that I think it is best if she pick a place where she is comfortable and a time when we can meet and she agreed. She was heading off to play Volleyball and she said she would write me where and when or give me a call later to talk again. I told her the invitation to chat is always open and I look forward to hearing from her again and meeting with her. She seems like such a nice person that I really hope we "click" when we finally get to meet --M WOOHOO!! See??? She's feeling ya, brother. Good luck to you and keep us posted!
Author MarkWA65 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 Well its set for lunch tomorrow at her favorite resturant --M
Green Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Well its set for lunch tomorrow at her favorite resturant --M R you going to pay for this? I would have just done coffee date if its the first time your meeting.
melodymatters Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 R you going to pay for this? I would have just done coffee date if its the first time your meeting. It's lunch KMT. Whats that, the cost of a movie that turned out to suck ? A couple over priced martini's at a bar ? How cheap ARE you ?
SeraBella Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I think lunch is appropriate. And I had originally written a post that said that but it didn't post, I guess. I think lunch is nice, because it's long enough to know if you want to see them again, but if you know it's not working out, it ends quickly. And, while a coffee date is less expensive, I don't think that the cost of lunch (provided you are paying - and I think you should) is even that high. I hope that it turns out to be a great date for you, Mark!
SeraBella Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 It's lunch KMT. Whats that, the cost of a movie that turned out to suck ? A couple over priced martini's at a bar ? How cheap ARE you ? hehe...Melody you said how i felt, but didn't want to say it.
Green Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 It's lunch KMT. Whats that, the cost of a movie that turned out to suck ? A couple over priced martini's at a bar ? How cheap ARE you ? First off I only go to this movie theatre that charges .75 cents. Second I never buy over priced drinks, Id take her out dollar margarita night or something. Finaly why put yourself in a posistion where you have to sit through a long lunch posibly and hour with a woman you may not like, and then pay for it. And when I heard it was her favorite resteraunt I just asumed it was going to be more expensive then a date at mcdonalds
melodymatters Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Well, this potential couple sounds a lot sweeter than either you OR I, KMT, so I think lunch is a lovely idea ! And glad I made you laugh sera, the longer you hang out here, the less likley you are to pull your punches I'm excited for you Mark, make sure you come back and tell us how it went !
Author MarkWA65 Posted January 11, 2008 Author Posted January 11, 2008 I will offer to pay for lunch for both of us regardles of how things go. And not because I can afford it (and trust me I can) but rather because that is the sort of guy I am --MJ
Nemo Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Make sure she gets the tip. Is that some sort of humorous reference to his penis? Nice one!
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