Mimic Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Hi, I met a girl not too long ago, we went on a couple of dates, but nothing ever happened ( no kissing, hand holding, ...). I feel really comfortable around her ( I am VERY shy and with her I feel like I can be myself for lack of a better way of saying it). How can I let her know the feelings I have for her without scaring her off. Also, there is kind of a bump in the road, read this more info about this "bump" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t140863/ , and please tell me what to think. tnx .
Author Mimic Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 Can anyone please help me out here?
oppath Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 you don't let someone know of your feelings until the relationship is secured. You show them you are ATTRACTED TO THEM -- and by attracted I mean to their whole person and who they are -- in your actions. The best thing to do is the next time you are hanging/talking with her, is to tell her "that's one of the things I find sexy about you" and acknowledge that you are shy. then grab her hands and kiss her. I know it's tough. In the future, it is ok to let women know on the first date you are shy. Just say "I can't believe I feel so comfortable around you. Usually I'm a little shy around women I am attracted to. Do you ever get that way?"
bozwa Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Hi, I met a girl not too long ago, we went on a couple of dates, but nothing ever happened ( no kissing, hand holding, ...). I feel really comfortable around her ( I am VERY shy and with her I feel like I can be myself for lack of a better way of saying it). How can I let her know the feelings I have for her without scaring her off. Also, there is kind of a bump in the road, read this more info about this "bump" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t140863/ , and please tell me what to think. tnx . okay, so now you've gone on the "dates." is she thinking that these were just friends-hanging-out dates? See, women can DEFINITELY be friends with men and think nothing of it and even consider it going further. If you don't let her know of your little crush on her, then most likely that is how she views you and your "dates." Let her know how you feel --- THE ABBREVIATED version of how you feel. Don't jump in with I'm so in love with you and want to be with you forever kind of stuff! Just say along the lines of "hey, I've really enjoyed our time together..had a lot of fun blah blah blah...how about we make a regular thing of this?" Start with something like that, get her reaction and go from there. Since she's just gotten out of this relationship and has made a conscious decision to like herself more (which may mean she wants to stand on her own two feet for a while with no man/relationship), find a soft way of telling her that you're interested in more than friendship with her. Take the risk, what can you lose? If you don't tell her, you may never know where it could have gone, what direction your life could go in. However, if you tell her and she rejects you, you're bummed out for a while but what have you really lost? Keep me updated.
bozwa Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 you don't let someone know of your feelings until the relationship is secured. You show them you are ATTRACTED TO THEM -- and by attracted I mean to their whole person and who they are -- in your actions. The best thing to do is the next time you are hanging/talking with her, is to tell her "that's one of the things I find sexy about you" and acknowledge that you are shy. then grab her hands and kiss her. I know it's tough. In the future, it is ok to let women know on the first date you are shy. Just say "I can't believe I feel so comfortable around you. Usually I'm a little shy around women I am attracted to. Do you ever get that way?" Ooooh, I like this advice, too!
oppath Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 You have to lead a woman with a sexual/romantic vibe. That does not mean all about the sex. It means you need to acknowledge that tension is there because if you don't, a woman can put you in the friendzone. In fact, you can corner a girl to go out with you and you'll think it is a date; she might just be going out with you to be nice, as a friend. This is especially true if it is someone you see around a lot, such as a classmate. With random women, "I want to go do xyz Thursday night and would love your company" = a date. But with others, it is ambiguous. That is why there needs to be a sexual/romantic vibe. Being shy is difficult because it is hard to create that vibe. You don't even have to say "I find you attractive." It can be as simple as "I'm really attracted to women who know how to bait their own hook" if she mentions she likes camping and the outdoors.
Author Mimic Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 With random women, "I want to go do xyz Thursday night and would love your company" = a date. Well she is a "random woman" hehe. I met her online and we went on a date... how long would be right to wait before telling her?
Recommended Posts