cerpintaxt1029 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Hi Im a twenty year old guy who lives away from home while studying at university. I share a house with 9 other people, 8 boys and one girl. I have felt very strongly for this girl from the first time i met her, we get along really well, always have fun together, and are remarkably similar in a lot of ways. This year we all moved out of student halls and into a house, and as our now smaller friend group got closer, so did me and her. And now i have pretty much completely fallen for her and its destroying me. The thing is i think she might feel something for me, we've had intimate times before, even kissed a couple of times, shes always talking about crap like marriage and stuff like that to me, only kind of joking i guess, but she says a lot of things that im sure have more meaning that she lets on. In fact i can remember her telling me of how she planned to go through these 3 years seeing a bunch of guys and then trying to talk me into going out with her in the future, her exact words no less. But she sees other guys all the time, and trys to tell me about it and ****, as if to taunt me. The thing is as evil as she can be shes done probably the most thoughtful and incredible things for me. I just dont know what to do. when i try to get some space from her she gets wierd and wont leave me alone, when i spend time with her she spends her time avoiding me. Im losing my mind, can anybody offer me any help at all?
Lee725 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Lay it out to her. Tell her how you feel - straight out. If you keep playing this game - you will loose. If you lay it out for her and she rejects you - how different is that to how she is treating you now? If you lay it out and she accepts, that is great you have achieved what you set out for. Good luck.
Jordane Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Well...how you handle this depends on how awkward the living situation can get. If you tell her that you are really into her and she says she is too then cool, you can date. But what if you break up? Will one of you have to move out? Will there become an awkward tension in the house? If she's not interested...how will you handle that?
wowIlose Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Honestly bud, escalate with actions and not with words. I would not tell her I like her when shes ignoring me. Thats the worst time. How about next time you guys have an intimate moment(kissing, laughing etc..) you say "how about we try more than just friends for a bit.." You see, if you ask on a high emotional note your odds of her actually accepting are much higher than when shes ignoring you and not feeling anything emotionally. Just my 2 cents.
Author cerpintaxt1029 Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 thanks for all the suggestions guys, but theyre nothing i havent done before. Its stupidly complicated, she knows exactly how i feel about her. ****in everyone does. I think the real problem im trying to deal with now is not so much coping with it now, i reckon i can probably handle this, like ill be better for it in the end. But Im positive she wants to get together with me in the future, im certain, shes said it about a hundred times in every context imaginable, we're meant to be travelling around europe together when we finish our degrees. Im sure thats what she wants, the problem is that while shes going out seeing other guys and stuff now, im sat at home moping and feeling ****. Ive seen other girls but i dont enjoy at all. Id prefer to be alone then with anyone else i think. So if in the end she finally turns round to me and says i want to be with you, and then it happens, what does that make me? Ive just sat around sulking waiting for her to get boed of playing the field, i dont know if i could live with that, i really dont know how i feel about it. what do you guys think?
Author cerpintaxt1029 Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 and thnak you again guys, it really means a lot that theres people willing to try to help people you dont even know. Its really touching, thank you.
Author cerpintaxt1029 Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 and also the thread is meant to be called "i could use some advice" not just i could use some, thats pretty much the opposite of what i meant
Jordane Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 You really just have to understand your limits. What are you going to put up with? How long will you wait?
Author cerpintaxt1029 Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 theres my problem, i could wait forever for her, but i think id lose a lot of respect for myself if i did. Would that make me some kind of pathetic hanger on, or am i over-analysing this. Please be honest, im losing my mind over this.
Jordane Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 If you think that waiting will make you feel worse about yourself then don't wait. You won't be satisfied in a relationship where you feel cheated or less than the other person. Why don't you talk to her?
Author cerpintaxt1029 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Posted January 10, 2008 I probably will, she's back in a couple of days. I'll see how things are, I haven't seen her in a while, so I'll see how it is, not that i can't guess
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