dannytherandomman Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 (edited) Before I begin( Don't worry its not a long post) I feel I should tell you all that I don't have many female friends, certainly none that I would fell comfortable calling up and asking to hang out etc, so I'm kinda at a disadvantage here know how to deal with girls as friends. Theres this great girl I've know for about a year or two, we've gotten much closer in the past few months and I wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with her but she likes another guy so I'm ok with just being friends(note I did not ask her out ever). She recently gave me her phone number and told me to please call and text her, something we have been doing a lot lately. So I assumed since we are so friendly towards each other she would consider me a friend or want to become better friends with me. So I asked her if she was busy on a certain day, she tells me she doubts she is busy but would get back to me. She does get back to me but with something that me and my pals thought was a terribly poor excuse. Now my question is this, whats going on here? Does she think of me as a friend? am I just someone for her to talk with but she doesn't actually like me? Or did she think by asking to hang out I was meaning a "date" and didn't want me to think she was interested? I really like this girl and want to be (better) friends. I don't understand why someone would waste so much time talking with another person If they didn't really care for them at all. Edited January 8, 2008 by dannytherandomman
SeraBella Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 It's hard to say without knowing how you invited her, where you invited her to, and what the excuse was. Invite her to something that you're already doing with people and she can bring other friends...a party, out for happy hour, drinks, appetizers...something VERY casual. If you know some of her interests, try to make it something you know she'd enjoy. For instance, if you know she likes mexican food, perhaps find plan to go to happy hour for margaritas next week and say "hey, i'm meeting up with some friends/coworkers/whatever for happy hour at <wherever> and heard they have some great <something>. you and some friends should stop by for a bit if you're not busy." If she makes up some lame excuse again, then I would probably disregard her as a friend and stop trying to talk to her.
Phateless Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Some girls get really weird about male attention and will do this kind of thing. You learn how to watch out for it over time.
Meaplus3 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Before I begin( Don't worry its not a long post) I feel I should tell you all that I don't have many female friends, certainly none that I would fell comfortable calling up and asking to hang out etc, so I'm kinda at a disadvantage here know how to deal with girls as friends. Theres this great girl I've know for about a year or two, we've gotten much closer in the past few months and I wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with her but she likes another guy so I'm ok with just being friends(note I did not ask her out ever). She recently gave me her phone number and told me to please call and text her, something we have been doing a lot lately. So I assumed since we are so friendly towards each other she would consider me a friend or want to become better friends with me. So I asked her if she was busy on a certain day, she tells me she doubts she is busy but would get back to me. She does get back to me but with something that me and my pals thought was a terribly poor excuse. Now my question is this, whats going on here? Does she think of me as a friend? am I just someone for her to talk with but she doesn't actually like me? Or did she think by asking to hang out I was meaning a "date" and didn't want me to think she was interested? I really like this girl and want to be (better) friends. I don't understand why someone would waste so much time talking with another person If they didn't really care for them at all. Well anything is possible here! I think you need to be straight forward and just come out and ask her how she feel's. Good Luck. AP:)
Yellowboy Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 It is difficult to assess without knowing how this friendship started out. Anyhow, I'm not going to make any conclusions, and at least from my experience, it seems she just wants to get to know you more. BUT! Here's one thing you perhaps should be cautious about. Are you one of many male friends that she has in her phone list? If you know how her social life is, that would help you assess what her intentions are in having a closer distance with you. I'm not saying she's bad or anything, but it's important to know that she may only consider you as one of her male friends, or maybe something more special than that.
Magnatolia Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 What was the excuse? And how sure are you that it was a lie? The fact is a woman won't chat and text with you unless there's something there. And it could be the type of person she is that she doens't hang out with people much. I know this girl who is similar with the phone/text thing and when we work in the same area we occasionally do lunch or whatever. And I've met up with her a couple of times. Instead of giving a specific date/time try finding an activity she likes and ask when she's free.
Author dannytherandomman Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 Thanks for the advice everyone. What was the excuse? And how sure are you that it was a lie? Well my friend and I thought that she would only need a few hours to do it. Turns outs that she wasn't exactly lying. What I thought was an excuse was true but only for the afternoon. She was invited to something with a mutual friend for that night and I suppose she thought I would of been hurt that I wasn't invited as well?(which wouldn't have been the case ) I'm going to try and get together with her this coming weekend so lets see how that works out. Another question: Like I said I think she likes another guy(romantically) but here's the thing, she went from telling me and others that she did NOT like this guy. Now she feels compelled to tell me every time he makes some sort of advance towards her, such as walking her somewhere, hugging her, arm around her, etc. Why is she telling me this? Does she consider me a friend who she wants to talk with about it or is she trying to make me jealous because she has feelings for me/knows I have feeling for her?
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