JackOfAllTrades65 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I'm conducting a research on how exactly taking a break or breaking a relationsihp off and then getting back together with a person works out. If not minded, just answer the questions in as much detail as possible: 1. When and how did you and person meet? 2. When you initially met each other, where there sparks? Did you see a relationship happening fast, or was it something that developed overtime? 3. When you met, were there other relationships in either one of your lives? If so, when and how did the relationship with the others end? 4. When did the two of you offically start dating? Any particular event that caused it (maybe a given date you went on, a party, etc.) 5. As it stands today, what would you have to say about the level of maturity in your first part of the relationship? 6. How serious did the relationship get, in terms of commitment and intimacy? 7. How long did you date for the first time before you broke it off, or decided to take a break? What was the main reason? 8. Who broke it off? 9. After the two of you broke it off, did either of you start dating other people? If so, how serious did it get with these other people? Did these people end up being, in your mind, completely inferior to the other partner? 10. After you two broke it off, was there any communication? If so, how long did it take to start talking again? 11. How long was it from the break up to the point in where things started turning better for the relationship? (Not necessarly where you got back together, but when did things start to look up?) 12. Was there a major event in what made you two decide that you could try and make it work again? Maybe a talk on the phone, etc.? 13. How long was it until you actually got back together offically? 14. Finally, what would you say was changed between the two of you when the relationship was renewed? 15. Today, are the two of you together? If so, how long has it been now? If not, how long did the relationship last, with all parts included? 16. If not together, is this other person still a part of your life at all (Do you speak to them, are you friends?) 17. Do you have any other comments that would be useful to know?
Lee725 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I would love to answer this one, but it is just WAY to long for me. (and i am a queen of drawn out long answers). Maybe if you break it down a little? or does it need to be that specific?
terrus peeck Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Heya 1. When and how did you and person meet? 2. When you initially met each other, where there sparks? Did you see a relationship happening fast, or was it something that developed overtime? 3. When you met, were there other relationships in either one of your lives? If so, when and how did the relationship with the others end? 4. When did the two of you offically start dating? Any particular event that caused it (maybe a given date you went on, a party, etc.) 5. As it stands today, what would you have to say about the level of maturity in your first part of the relationship? 6. How serious did the relationship get, in terms of commitment and intimacy? 7. How long did you date for the first time before you broke it off, or decided to take a break? What was the main reason? 8. Who broke it off? 9. After the two of you broke it off, did either of you start dating other people? If so, how serious did it get with these other people? Did these people end up being, in your mind, completely inferior to the other partner? 10. After you two broke it off, was there any communication? If so, how long did it take to start talking again? 11. How long was it from the break up to the point in where things started turning better for the relationship? (Not necessarly where you got back together, but when did things start to look up?) 12. Was there a major event in what made you two decide that you could try and make it work again? Maybe a talk on the phone, etc.? 13. How long was it until you actually got back together offically? 14. Finally, what would you say was changed between the two of you when the relationship was renewed? 15. Today, are the two of you together? If so, how long has it been now? If not, how long did the relationship last, with all parts included? 16. If not together, is this other person still a part of your life at all (Do you speak to them, are you friends?) 17. Do you have any other comments that would be useful to know? 1. My sister went to study aboard in Italy in 03 and met her, they became friends and the girl lived about an hour from us. So we started as friends. 2. No sparks, I asked her out, we went on two dates (no kiss even) and she blew me off after those dates. that was 10-03, then in feb. 04, she said she still liked me, and we became a couple. It happened over time. 3. We were both single from the moment we met until the moment we got together. 4. Feb 28th 2004. She just sat next to me and said, 'Matt, I still like you.' and I said 'Interesting' and we became a couple. 5. My first relationship, I was 21, lost virginity to her, but she wasnt a virgin, etc. Not very mature. 6. It only lasted a year, but it got pretty serious. Talk of the future, a family, etc. 7. One Year, She broke it off due to my Manic Depression and my lying habit. 8. She did. I didnt want it to happen ;( 9. We were broken up for 2 years and both started to date others. None of had a serious relationship at all. 10. we talked online every few weeks, then weeks became months and we did not talk for over one year, (all of 2006) and didnt see each other for 2 years. Until we got back together. 11. March 07 then May 07 (back together) 12. No event, other than us talking again and flirting, etc and we gave it another shot because she hoped I would be different, taking my medications, etc, and I am. 13. 2 months, from march 07. 14. Other than being more mature, nothing changed, we still loved each other the same. Its good now. 15. We been together 8 months now and are engaged. 16. N/A 17. All I wanted to do for the last two years was get her back. I finally did, but it took two long years of despair. I will never let her go again. Pictures of us at www.matthewpeterson.biz/pics See ya.
CaliGuy Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I'm conducting a research on how exactly taking a break or breaking a relationsihp off and then getting back together with a person works out. If not minded, just answer the questions in as much detail as possible: 1. When and how did you and person meet? 2. When you initially met each other, where there sparks? Did you see a relationship happening fast, or was it something that developed overtime? 3. When you met, were there other relationships in either one of your lives? If so, when and how did the relationship with the others end? 4. When did the two of you offically start dating? Any particular event that caused it (maybe a given date you went on, a party, etc.) 5. As it stands today, what would you have to say about the level of maturity in your first part of the relationship? 6. How serious did the relationship get, in terms of commitment and intimacy? 7. How long did you date for the first time before you broke it off, or decided to take a break? What was the main reason? 8. Who broke it off? 9. After the two of you broke it off, did either of you start dating other people? If so, how serious did it get with these other people? Did these people end up being, in your mind, completely inferior to the other partner? 10. After you two broke it off, was there any communication? If so, how long did it take to start talking again? 11. How long was it from the break up to the point in where things started turning better for the relationship? (Not necessarly where you got back together, but when did things start to look up?) 12. Was there a major event in what made you two decide that you could try and make it work again? Maybe a talk on the phone, etc.? 13. How long was it until you actually got back together offically? 14. Finally, what would you say was changed between the two of you when the relationship was renewed? 15. Today, are the two of you together? If so, how long has it been now? If not, how long did the relationship last, with all parts included? 16. If not together, is this other person still a part of your life at all (Do you speak to them, are you friends?) 17. Do you have any other comments that would be useful to know? Rarely do people get back together. Rarely does it work out. Why? Because the issues that caused the first breakup were never resolved. If cheating was involved, trust is gone, usually for good. There are a reason why they are called ex's. The sooner you let them go, the sooner the RIGHT person can walk into your life.
wowIlose Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I wish I had a caliguy button I could press wherever I go and it would say a few of his messages when my thoughts where starting to fade to the dark side. haha
terrus peeck Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 It has worked for me. We made it past the dreaded 6month mark.
CaliGuy Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I wish I had a caliguy button I could press wherever I go and it would say a few of his messages when my thoughts where starting to fade to the dark side. haha You already have that capability inside of you. When you learn to love and respect yourself, you know exactly what to do and what to say. In order for anyone else to love and respect you, you must first love and respect yourself. Cheers.
smileysmile Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 Rarely do people get back together. Rarely does it work out. Why? Because the issues that caused the first breakup were never resolved. If cheating was involved, trust is gone, usually for good. There are a reason why they are called ex's. The sooner you let them go, the sooner the RIGHT person can walk into your life. Caliguy.. whenever I read one of your posts it sounds very pesimistic. Are you talking from experience? That things hadn't worked out? Every situation is different. I agree that it is probably hard to come back from infidelity. But couples to get back. Me for instance have anger problems and issues that caused my STBX to finally call it a day. She wanted out because I was not going out of my way to sort my issues out. Our R became toxic. I can honestly say hand on heart that I was the cause of this break up and I still love my ex but no other than these issues caused this break up. She will tell you that she NEVER fell out of love or stopped fancying me or anything else but my anger issues. Which were inflicted on her. In anger I said some things I regret. Take my issues and anger away then we would be perfect together and live happily ever after. Today for the first time I went to see my doctor and cried that I needed help. So he has fitted me in to see a counsellor in 4/6 weeks time. I briefly told him I ruined my M (this is my second) I need help. Wish I had done it months/years ago. I seriously have ruined my life and future. I need to learn to control my emotions. The only thing is my STBX has probably lost those feelings for me and it is frankly in her eyes a little to late. But who knows if she sees changes in me in the future. We have a 13 mth old D so we do see each other. Sorry for taking your thread up
PinkRibbon Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I wish I had a caliguy button I could press wherever I go and it would say a few of his messages when my thoughts where starting to fade to the dark side. haha I want one of those buttons:D:D:D:D can I get one for every room?
annabelle75 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Rarely do people get back together. Rarely does it work out. Why? Because the issues that caused the first breakup were never resolved. If cheating was involved, trust is gone, usually for good. There are a reason why they are called ex's. The sooner you let them go, the sooner the RIGHT person can walk into your life. I would agree with you 90% of the time, but somtimes giving a person/relationship a second chance does work. I dont think people should hold onto false hope or jump back into a bad relationship but six months ago I was preaching that "an ex is an ex for a reason." Now I'm almost engaged to my ex. You never know.
Confused9 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Yeah..sign me up for that button, please!!!
HarryR Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 All I know, my girl made me sit up and go arf arf.............thats no lie, my girl made me want to go arf arf and sing John Prine songs together,,,,,,,,,,,
HarryR Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Benn cryin my butt off for 4 weeks then see she has an ad omline, now Im p-issed off, six years, too soon too srry esy to late,,,,,,,,,,, moved in within a month, still way too doon, way to laatr, wwwwwwwwwwwwwwAy too sorry ,way to , oh cap Im out of Jim Beam??????? #@#^# Anfd I hate that, Dont even lik rJB, i drink my beers, but never touvh whiskey,, dorry proplr, Im lonrly yonight and I will br dmanrd if I will email, calll, or even act as I want that bitvh back in my life, another natural light, man I fine, in other words, I could give a crap noow about her, .sorry, Im feelig used, really bad, I know Im one of those as my friend says that loves too much,,,,,,, never knew any other way I guess
HarryR Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Benn cryin my butt off for 4 weeks then see she has an ad omline, now Im p-issed off, six years, too soon too srry esy to late,,,,,,,,,,, moved in within a month, still way too doon, way to laatr, wwwwwwwwwwwwwwAy too sorry ,way to , oh cap Im out of Jim Beam??????? #@#^# Anfd I hate that, Dont even lik rJB, i drink my beers, but never touvh whiskey,, dorry proplr, Im lonrly yonight and I will br dmanrd if I will email, calll, or even act as I want that bitvh back in my life, another natural light, man I fine, in other words, I could give a crap noow about her, .sorry, Im feelig used, really bad, I know Im one of those as my friend says that loves too much,,,,,,, never knew any other way I guess. sorrry thr popup says I have to type 10 more words, ok, hoes a ranch in montana, or an acre in in arizona/ Ok I think I used my min words, sorry proplr Im new at this place,
PinkRibbon Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 oooooohhhhh looks like someone had a little to drink? hahahah We all understand the pain your are going through. If we didn't we wouldn't be here. I hope you feel better today.
CaliGuy Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Caliguy.. whenever I read one of your posts it sounds very pesimistic. Are you talking from experience? That things hadn't worked out? Yes, from my own personal experiences. Most of what I have learned can be learned by anyone who is bored, has time on their hands and reads through the multitude of posts here on LS. Every situation is different. Yes. Every situation is different but the end results are usually the same. I agree that it is probably hard to come back from infidelity. I would say that once the trust is gone, so is the relationship. And if you read the threads here, there are many men and women who have been the victim of an unfaithful spouse or s/o who have said time and time again "I just can't get the image of my wife/girlfriend in the throws of passion with someone else." As long as that person is in your life, you will remember them for the hurt and pain they caused. That never goes away. You can forgive them, yes, but you will never forget. I wouldn't want to live with that the rest of my life. The constant mistrust and suspicion. Forget it. Better to start fresh with someone new.
CaliGuy Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 I want one of those buttons:D:D:D:D can I get one for every room? I'm thinking of going into business with the guy who invented the clapper. Whenever you need some advice, just clap. I'll deliver a pertinent message on the spot.
82knightrider Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 I'm thinking of going into business with the guy who invented the clapper. Whenever you need some advice, just clap. I'll deliver a pertinent message on the spot. LMAO,that rules!
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